LoveBug1989 Posted September 26, 2011 Share Posted September 26, 2011 Hi all, in March my boyfriend of 1 year broke up with me. I did not take the breakup well. It was rough and bitter. I battled deep depression during that time and every single day since then I've though about him and how much I miss him. Over time I've thought about him less, but it is still painful and just a few days ago was his birthday, which brought a lot of memories back that hurt. Anyway, I recently moved back to my hometown for work, and I've been hanging out a lot with a couple friends I knew when I was high school. One of them is 30, and has always been a great friend of mine (he worked with me when I was a part time employee at the high school's theater). As we've been hanging out more (mostly in the company of other friends), he started saying how much he enjoys my company and how he's happy when I'm around. I also told him a lot about the past few months and the breakup with my boyfriend and how hard it was on me. He also went through a breakup a while ago. He's a great friend, but he's invited me out to dinner twice (once, I did accept) and he just sent me a text saying he felt he wanted to hold my hand in the car when we went with friends to get lunch. All these painful feelings came back. I don't see him as more than a great friend who I can talk to and confide in. When it comes to even thinking about a new relationship, I am extremely and rigidly guarded. Even the thought of a new relationship brings me back to my ex boyfriend and how much I miss him and how much it hurts. I put so much into my last relationship, and was so careful and trusted him so much, and I ended up getting burned in the end. I don't really know how I should be feeling or what I should do. I'm confused and I feel stupid. Any suggestions would be nice. Link to post Share on other sites
conductorchris Posted September 27, 2011 Share Posted September 27, 2011 I've heard the advice that when you are afraid, the best thing is to run towards what you are afraid of. You owe it to yourself to open your heart and let that part of yourself be alive again. Note that this is not necessarily the same thing as responding to your friend, if he's not the one you want. But maybe he is? Or maybe you don't have to know and he'll help you find that place in you, and even if nothing comes of it in the long term it will be worthwhile just for that. It might help to simply tell him that it's hard moving on from your last breakup. Just as a statement of fact, not to shut him down, but to explain. Link to post Share on other sites
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