How powerful do you think texting is in starting a relationship

[BeyondtheClouds]

My boyfriend and I had to get over a huge hump as he was dating someone else at the same time as he was dating me. HE did choose me but over time I found out more and more about his relationship with this other woman whom he was then trying to frame as a friend.

 

But there’s one thing that intrigues me. He told me that they dated for a couple of months before he met and then she downgraded him to friend. They stayed in touch and then he told her that he was interested in someone new (me), she became, he estimates, interested in him again. He mentioned that she was texting him a lot and that encouraged his renewed interest in her.

 

I do notice on various message boards how texting someone seems to be a big part of a relationship and quite often a big catalyst in moving it forward.

 

Have any of been affected by this?

 

Either:

1. You were able to stimulate someone’s interest in you by regular texting so that finally the two of you took the relationship to real life. If so, how long and how often did you text? Were they mostly cutesy remarks or were they questions to get the other person to answer back? How did things go?

 

2. You were on the receiving end of this type of texting. How did it go?

 

3. You discovered that your partner was a party to this type of texting which resulted in an end to your relationship with this person and/or the beginning of a relationship as described in No. 1.

[vsmini]

My apologies for coming off a bit harsh but I'm really confused by your post.

It's hard to take much seriously after someone has said that they willingly kept up a relationship with someone when they knew they were dating someone else at the same time. It's a huge red flag when someone is still involved with someone while seeing you. It's even a bigger red flag on your part that you would put up with that and "wait around" for him to choose you.

 

It's unacceptable that they are still in contact or even "friends." Don't date guys that are friends with their ex's. It gets messy and is inappropriate. Let him know this and see what he says.

[BeyondtheClouds]

My apologies for coming off a bit harsh but I'm really confused by your post.

It's hard to take much seriously after someone has said that they willingly kept up a relationship with someone when they knew they were dating someone else at the same time. It's a huge red flag when someone is still involved with someone while seeing you. It's even a bigger red flag on your part that you would put up with that and "wait around" for him to choose you.

 

It's unacceptable that they are still in contact or even "friends." Don't date guys that are friends with their ex's. It gets messy and is inappropriate. Let him know this and see what he says.

 

Would you like to answer the above question?

[serial muse]

My boyfriend and I had to get over a huge hump as he was dating someone else at the same time as he was dating me. HE did choose me but over time I found out more and more about his relationship with this other woman whom he was then trying to frame as a friend.

 

But there’s one thing that intrigues me. He told me that they dated for a couple of months before he met and then she downgraded him to friend. They stayed in touch and then he told her that he was interested in someone new (me), she became, he estimates, interested in him again. He mentioned that she was texting him a lot and that encouraged his renewed interest in her.

 

I do notice on various message boards how texting someone seems to be a big part of a relationship and quite often a big catalyst in moving it forward.

 

Have any of been affected by this?

 

Either:

1. You were able to stimulate someone’s interest in you by regular texting so that finally the two of you took the relationship to real life. If so, how long and how often did you text? Were they mostly cutesy remarks or were they questions to get the other person to answer back? How did things go?

 

2. You were on the receiving end of this type of texting. How did it go?

 

3. You discovered that your partner was a party to this type of texting which resulted in an end to your relationship with this person and/or the beginning of a relationship as described in No. 1.

 

Texting seems like a red herring here though. You could insert "emailing" or "calling" or "talking" and it would have performed the same function - in other words, this was a woman he liked, she pulled back, he focused on you, then she contacted him again (through whatever means) more aggressively, and he was again intrigued by her. I don't think it's about texting so much as that period of time where he was torn between two people.

 

That said, to answer the third question in a more general way, if I had discovered that my partner was contacting another woman regularly through any medium, I would have probably broken off the relationship.

 

I was a bit confused by the way you worded question three, though, so it may be that I didn't really understand what you were asking.

[guitaristVLADIMIR]

My apologies for coming off a bit harsh but I'm really confused by your post.

It's hard to take much seriously after someone has said that they willingly kept up a relationship with someone when they knew they were dating someone else at the same time. It's a huge red flag when someone is still involved with someone while seeing you. It's even a bigger red flag on your part that you would put up with that and "wait around" for him to choose you.

 

It's unacceptable that they are still in contact or even "friends." Don't date guys that are friends with their ex's. It gets messy and is inappropriate. Let him know this and see what he says.

 

i don't know what you know but guys myself includes keep in touch with our ex's its just a normal guy thing

 

now to the original poster you just have to trust him a bit in other words dont put him on a leash but dont give him free reign cause like eminem says "give em an inch they take a mile"...look you can figure out if hes more interested in her or you by testing him

 

when you ask him something when he is on his phone esp with her he will put it away but if hes into her more he will be like "that was uh mikey.. what no it wasn't____ i want you not her"

 

now if he wants you he will tell the truth even if it hurts...

 

remember real guys are real and real hard to find today there are mostly boys looking to use a girl he will treat her mike a piece of meat... not a lady ..