Became an unhappy doormat and lost the love of my life.

[Rorschach64]

Above is exactly describing narcissitic behavior but still you did lose yourself despite being a great guy but you need to love yourself and look around for some of Homebrew's posts because they are very good reads about self worth and what not!

 

Like suggested about, go love yourself put yourself first, leave your ex alone and go complete NC till you are healed. She will not accept any sort of mental health help/therapy till she actually realizes it HERSELF. It sucks but that's how it is with narcissism.

[TheGrimSweeper]

The above post is very true. She was always a very negative person towards lots of things in life, work, people, both her own friends and some of mine, other peoples relationships. I always tried to bring out the positive and eventually some days it got to the point where I gave up cause I just couldn't win.

 

I should mention one thing, she told me during the breakup that she was going to hang out with a guy she met from her new job this weekend but nothing would happen there. I dont know why she blurted that out, I didnt ask or say anything if another guy was involved.

[wilsonx]

At least you know the real reason for the breakup now. And there it is. Just like everyone of our breakups. Relationship jumping 101.

 

Another pattern I picked up on was this one. I actually just saw another pattern. They move on to other jobs and usually find someone else at their new job.

 

Happened to me, Happened to my friend M, Happened to my friend Mark, happened to you.

 

My friend at work I will call her N, she told me she's usually only dated guys shes worked with and I laughed. She is one of these types of girls. I guess its a comfort thing, oh well. Happened to several people on this board especially in the marriage and separation forums. Those forums actually make me cringe.

[TheGrimSweeper]

I had to sort something out with her yesterday that was arranged prior to the breakup after a mixup, and she completely blamed it on me for what went wrong and was completely cold.

 

Wow so unnecessary, that's the last you'll ever hear from me.

[samphs]

I don't know if this helps, but I'm the girl and I'm the one who became passive, both me and my ex were walking on eggshells and I was having a lot anxiety so he finally ended, it after 2years. I saw him today after 1 week of the breakup and it sucked, I'm trying to go back to my old self but its lonely isn't it?

[TheGrimSweeper]

Well I think I am starting to enter the angry phase.

 

Over the relationship she never talked when something was wrong always held it in and expected me to just figure out what it was.

 

In her life whenever things get tough she never tries to fight for them and fix them, she always just runs away. With her parents with everything. Ive actually asked her about this before and her reply was just that "its easy".

 

For the most part any fight or argument that we had, everything was always my fault. And you couldn't convince her otherwise. Some things she would admit fault for after but that would usually take time before she realized that.

 

Like the breakup for example, kept telling me everything was fine until the day she ended it, then exploded on me with everything that was wrong and left me a mess.

[AHardDaysNight]

Some girls are like that, man. They're immature, and view relationships in unequal terms.

 

You're better off without her. Seriously.