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When I have other plans or am busy to hang out, some of my friends get really mad. ?


RikRak

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There's this one friend in particular who get very sensitive when people can't hang out with her. She'll say "no pressure" or "no worries" when people can't go, but she's obviously still angry and keeping track. Another thing that doesn't help is that she tends to ask people out last-minute (the day before or the day of), even though she herself dislikes being invited places at the last minute. I like to be spontaneous, but some days I'm just at school or out of town or at a friend's birthday party. And that's the truth.

 

So now this friend thinks I make excuses not to hang out with her. Her recent invites have said, "well if you get bored" or "well if you don't have anything better to do." Those phrases sound bitter to me. If it were me, I would say "if you don't have other plans" or "if you're free or have time." It's gotten so bad that this friend - if I can call her that anymore - refused to go to my birthday party for longer than an hour. She could have refused to go at all rather than say (after planning my birthday for a month) that she has to "study for an exam in two weeks."

 

I miss people when they can't come to my events, but I don't hold it against them. It seems like this girl was trying to get back at me for something I didn't intend to do. She kept talking about how my birthday would require a sacrifice of her time, so I straight out told her that she didn't need to come out at all or go out of the way for me. Now she's furious, but I think I gave her what she wanted. She sent me over ten angry texts and e-mails and even involved my other friends. Should I just stop talking to her? I don't like feeling obligated to go to her events to prevent her from being mad or getting even.

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You may want to try talking to her first before you do anything. If you can't seem to reason with her, then it'd be best if you stopped hanging out with her as a whole. A TRUE friend will make time for their friends no matter what-and won't get upset with you or anyone else if you can't hang out with them. Good luck :)

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She spent a month planning your birthday. She probably just wants to feel valued and that you actually want her to be there.

 

Otherwise, perhaps it is indeed time to call an end to this frienship since it's not working out for either of you.

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