"emotionally unavailable" theory from a blog post

[Beachgirl8]

A friend sent me a link to this blog post and wanted to talk about it. This is the part of the post I found interesting:

 

Emotional unavailability is real. Like it or not, it’s something we experience and it’s something our love interests will have to learn to deal with. Further, despite our strict adherence to logic and reason, and despite our perceived dominion over our feelings, the how and why of when we snap out of our emotional unavailability is often completely out of our control. It just happens. And when it does happen, we very rarely end up spending our lives with the woman who loved us throughout our stretch of unavailability. Nope, much to the collective chagrin of women who consistently love unavailable men, we snap out of it and run straight to a new chick. You want to know why don’t you? It’s because men use a formula to assign value to the women in their lives and a large part of that formula is derived from how much we believe that woman values herself. If you’ve been giving us all of you while requiring nothing more than our bare minimum then that negatively affects how much we believe you value yourself and we know in our heart we can never be with you. No matter how much we want to, we can’t build up the motivation to give you everything if we know you’ve been content with us giving you barely anything. We need to be challenged, we need to know that you’ll accept nothing less than everything. We need to believe that twenty, thirty, forty years from now we’ll still be compelled to be the best man we can possibly be by the simple act of you allowing us to continue to be in your presence.

 

Thoughts?

 

 

The blog post can be found at

 

http://www.singleblackmale.org/2011/08/29/so-dont-you-fall-in-love-a-thesis-for-emotionally-unavailable-men/

[Woggle]

I would put it different but men just like women are attracted to people that respect themselves.

[Beachgirl8]

Right. I just find it interesting to note that a way you can devalue yourself is simply by showing attention to and falling in love with a person of the opposite sex who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. I think that point is lost on a lot of people.

[Woggle]

Right. I just find it interesting to note that a way you can devalue yourself is simply by showing attention to and falling in love with a person of the opposite sex who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. I think that point is lost on a lot of people.

 

You have this and some women have the want what you can't have syndrome and will lose interest once a man shows interest back. Men know this and tend to avoid it.