TurningTables Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Same for us. I also think that if he does decide to stay in marriage, I will have alot of the same feelings you still have, because it sounds like we had similar experiences. I think alot of OWs or OMs experience is that there is alot of bad experiences that occur inside of the affair that degrade the affair relationship. So those people its easier to move on when they can say the MM or MW was a total ass. So for those of you who felt MM was a big ass at the end of the day, I think you are lucky in some ways. Its easier to move on. In my case and what sounds like in yours, because we were friends first and because we both understood the complexities of all of this, there has been complete understanding of MM and I through this whole process. We've never even argued. We've been able to communicate through everything openly with each other all of our emotions and have been loving to each other throughout. We both feel we have a connection on every level, spiritual, emotional, physical and have great communication and to top it off have so much fun together. So seriously, I know Im in for a lifetime of what if's and coulda beens if he stays in the marriage. Hi Heart. Your post sounds very familiar to my experince with xMM. We were also very close friends for a very, very long time before anything romantic came to play. However, our history was 18+ years. So I can definetly identify with your posts and feelings. The only thing that would worry me is the bolded above. Are you saying that you and MM never have had disagreements? I feel that disagreements/arugements make a relationship stronger and you sometimes get to see another viewpoint that you wouldnt have seen before. Its a growing experience. You cannot have a R with anyone ( be that a sister, mother, lover, etc) without sometimes having a difference of opinion. Please dont take me wrong but, I truly hope that you dont think things will stay this way if he chooses you and you guys are out of the A. It would worry me that you havent seen how he handles true conflict within a R. These are the things ( I know on top of everything else! lol ) you should be thinking of. Link to post Share on other sites
heartinlove Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Hi Heart. Your post sounds very familiar to my experince with xMM. We were also very close friends for a very, very long time before anything romantic came to play. However, our history was 18+ years. So I can definetly identify with your posts and feelings. The only thing that would worry me is the bolded above. Are you saying that you and MM never have had disagreements? I feel that disagreements/arugements make a relationship stronger and you sometimes get to see another viewpoint that you wouldnt have seen before. Its a growing experience. You cannot have a R with anyone ( be that a sister, mother, lover, etc) without sometimes having a difference of opinion. Please dont take me wrong but, I truly hope that you dont think things will stay this way if he chooses you and you guys are out of the A. It would worry me that you havent seen how he handles true conflict within a R. These are the things ( I know on top of everything else! lol ) you should be thinking of. Oh we disagree many times and have had a million very emotional conversations with different perspectives. I just was saying we have them in a way that is always respectful and never goes to that ugly kind of arguing. Link to post Share on other sites
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