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How long do you wait before setting up a second date?


Johnny85

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Johnny,

 

At this point, you've made the ultimate mistake. You've gotten to the point that you're thinking about it too much. I've spoken to you the most in this thread and you still haven't gotten it. Women are typically attracted to guys they can't have... period. Right now is the point where you need to drop this one and show yourself you have the balls to walk away and not take anymore of her bullsh%t and her putting you off. You need to take off the rosy red goggles and see this girl for what she is, a gamer.

 

As i said before, i would've questioned her right there on the spot when she asked why she hadn't heard from you. Hell, my question would've been why haven't i heard from her? And i would've told her about it. But you, you're not going to do that because you're scared. Scared that you might offend her and lose her forever. Remember my nice guy vs bad boy analogy i gave you before? Despite what interests she may have shown, it's not sincere. Believe me, I understand what its like to meet a girl who appears to have interest, and i know how hard it is to give up when you're excited, but everyone in this thread but you can see that she's playing you like a yo-yo right now bro. It may be a little harsh, but its time to be a man and show yourself who's boss (and notice i didn't say "Her")

 

You need to display that you're in control of your own life and not waiting at her whim. Until you start doing that, continue to keep falling into her traps and driving yourself crazy wondering. I would definitely not send that text message. That comes across as begging.

 

fetish

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So she sent me a text last night saying that she would "text me today." I still haven't heard from her! I am not going to waste my time on this flaky girl anymore. I bet now that I stop pursuing her, she is going to start contacting me (i.e., the rubber band effect). Obviously the signs were right in front of me indicating that she was not interested in me, but I was simply too naive to realize it myself.

 

I hate it when a girl gives me mixed signals, but we are even beyond that point now. This has been a really good learning experience for me: I am never going to ask a girl out more than two consecutive times again. I feel really rejected at this point, yet relieved, for I no longer have to walk around thinking about this gamer. I suppose I really started liking her (i.e., placing her on a pedestal), as a result of the mixed signals (kissing, touching, inviting me over for breakfast, making plans to go to the movies, etc). Nonetheless, it is all irrelevant right now. My rose tinted sunglasses have come off!

 

Thanks all for your kind advice. I should have listened earlier, but I suppose sometimes you need to try for yourself before reality sets in.

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Dude.. It could have gone either way on this girl....don't let his one girl change who you are and how you go about getting to know someone.

It's a numbers game sometimes more than anything and you gave this one your best shot

 

Make the trail on this girl go cold.. You are right that she will keep seeing if you are on the hook

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Dude.. It could have gone either way on this girl....don't let his one girl change who you are and how you go about getting to know someone.

It's a numbers game sometimes more than anything and you gave this one your best shot

 

Make the trail on this girl go cold.. You are right that she will keep seeing if you are on the hook

 

Well, since our last date, I have asked her out three times. I sent her a text yesterday asking if she wanted to come over for dinner and then we could go out for a drink afterwards. She responded by saying, "Okay, I will text you tomorrow." She still hasn't responded.

 

Under normal circumstances, I would never have asked a girl out three times, but her mixed signals made me more persistent. And you're right, I did give this one my best shot. I just don't understand why she couldn't just have said "I am not interested." That would have saved me from coming across as a total pushover and practically begging her for a date. Perhaps in Womanese language, "Maybe, we will see" means no. Yet she posted 5-6 comments on one of my Facebook pictures just the other day teasing me.

 

 

Anyway, thanks for everyone's help. I really appreciate it. I just needed to vent. Thanks guys. :)

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So she sent me a text last night saying that she would "text me today." I still haven't heard from her! I am not going to waste my time on this flaky girl anymore. I bet now that I stop pursuing her, she is going to start contacting me (i.e., the rubber band effect). Obviously the signs were right in front of me indicating that she was not interested in me, but I was simply too naive to realize it myself.

 

 

Thanks all for your kind advice. I should have listened earlier, but I suppose sometimes you need to try for yourself before reality sets in.

 

Don't beat yourself up. The only way you learn is by experience. How do you think i knew what was going on? Because i've been in your shoes. This exact thing has happened to me before where a girl seemed interested that i should just pursue her and only her. I ended up getting disappointed and heartbroken at the end.

 

See women like this are the reason why men are the way they are. They mess it up for all women and then men are left with thinking they have to be dogs and players for women to like them. Women say they want a nice guy who treats them well, but don't respond well when a guy tries to show that he's sincere. But good job on your realization. I don't think you should text her back. Leave her hanging, guessing, and wondering about you.

 

You're manning up! Continue to update us in how she responds to your "manning" up. :)

 

fetish

Edited by fetish1980
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Hi All! Here is a brief update to my little story. I can soon write a book about this girl, considering how long this has been going on?

 

So on Saturday, about an hour after I was about to give up, she invited me to a bar. She was there with her friends, so I just had a few beers and we said goodnight about an hour later. We just hugged and that was it.

 

Monday morning I received a text from her asking if I wanted to have dinner with her. We went out for dinner, kissed, made out, she asked me if I had met anyone else from Okcupid, etc. At the end of the night, she asked me if I wanted to see a movie with her on Tuesday.

 

So Tuesday arrived, and instead of going to the movies, she asked me if I wanted to come over to her office and keep her company (she was there a total of 13 hours). We made out A LOT. It was funny, for her door is locked from the inside, i.e., you needed a key to get out. So she came over to the door and kissed me, and I joked and said that her kisses must be the secret combination to get out. lol

 

 

I texted her when I got home:

 

Me: Hey! Thanks for showing me the Excel drop box feature! hehe Hope you got home safe.

Her: I am home:) See you this week some time...I hope:)

Me: Hope to see you soon again. Sleep tight!

 

 

 

The following morning (yesterday morning) I sent her a joke via text:

 

Me: Hey name! Did the excel karma police knock on your door this morning? hehe (this in reference to her joking about the karma police all night; and we were working on adding a drop box feature).

 

 

NO DAMN REPLY!

 

So she has a sporadic schedule, and from what I can tell, I am not the only one she does this to. Nonetheless, it is not OK. It is starting to irritate me, actually.

 

 

So should I send her a text now saying, "Hey! Hope your day is going well. I would like to stop by your office and bring you dinner quickly before class."

 

 

OR

 

No text at all, and wait for her to respond to me. When she texted me, "See you this week sometime...I hope" I now interpret that as her wanting me to make plans, which is why I am more leaning towards asking to see her quickly today.

 

 

What do you all think?

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Can I as why you didn't try and give it to her..

I think she is looking for a little more naughty than you are giving her..

 

In my day.. if a woman locks the door behind her and kisses me she gets more than her spreadsheet taken care of, and my DNA would no doubt still be with her in the morning...

 

You need to make a move for more than kissing...

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Can I as why you didn't try and give it to her..

I think she is looking for a little more naughty than you are giving her..

 

In my day.. if a woman locks the door behind her and kisses me she gets more than her spreadsheet taken care of, and my DNA would no doubt still be with her in the morning...

 

You need to make a move for more than kissing...

 

This is it exactly. It's the second time you missed out on the opportunity of having sex with her when she really wanted you to take it further. I think she finds you hot but she is also frustrated by your lack of assertiveness.

 

When she said in a text 'See you soon' or something to that effect, you should have said 'How about for a drink on Friday' finishing it with a cheeky comment. She is a naughty girl and you are not being naughty enough for her

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Can I as why you didn't try and give it to her..

I think she is looking for a little more naughty than you are giving her..

 

In my day.. if a woman locks the door behind her and kisses me she gets more than her spreadsheet taken care of, and my DNA would no doubt still be with her in the morning...

 

You need to make a move for more than kissing...

 

LOL I was too sober to make that initiative. Her office is in a shady part of town, which is why she kept the doors locked! Trust me!!! haha But should I text her now or wait for her to contact me? The thing is that if I text her now, I will be rewarding her not responding to my text. If I don't text her, she may see it as rejection or me not being assertive enough since she is the one who made plans the last two times. The last text I received from her said: "See you this week sometime...I hope:)

 

 

 

What do you think?

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CALL HER STOP WITH THE BLOODY TEXTS!

 

sorry to be shouting but it's like talking to a brick wall. Show her that you are a man and that you are confident and can handle her.

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I called and no answer! She texted me shortly after saying, "I will be running errands in the PM :(:( Sorry"

 

So frustrating. :mad:

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