Author Johnny85 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 So I texted her last night, "Okay, I would like to see you, but if you can't make it, no worries." So she texted me back last night saying: "Idk, my friend just got kicked out of his house and is staying with me over the weekend now. A little creepy cause his roommate he talked to himself. Never a dull moment" I just responded saying, "LOL never a dull moment. Friends first tho - that is really important." She responded with some small chit chat. I think this is an excuse not to see me. What do you think? Maybe=No And throw in some lame excuse and that makes her feel better than saying NO. Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 During the first one Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 So I texted her last night, "Okay, I would like to see you, but if you can't make it, no worries." So she texted me back last night saying: "Idk, my friend just got kicked out of his house and is staying with me over the weekend now. A little creepy cause his roommate he talked to himself. Never a dull moment" I just responded saying, "LOL never a dull moment. Friends first tho - that is really important." She responded with some small chit chat. I think this is an excuse not to see me. What do you think? Maybe=No And throw in some lame excuse and that makes her feel better than saying NO. I suspect that while you were procrastinating someone moved ahead of you in the line. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 Hey Pierre, I didn't contact her for one day. lol Maybe there was another guy there all along. Who knows? I think the ball should be in her court now. I may try in a week or so (since I hate giving up). Do you think she is telling me some BS story about her friend coming there to stay? Link to post Share on other sites
Cee Posted September 29, 2011 Share Posted September 29, 2011 The excuse itself is a red flag. A male friend is spending the weekend at her house. Even if it's strictly platonic, it still shows you rank low on her priority list. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 29, 2011 Author Share Posted September 29, 2011 That is very true! Her so called strictly platonic male friend who got kicked out and talks to himself is more important than going out with me. So do I increase my chances of a second date by not contacting her for a while? Is there anything I can do at this stage which will build more attraction in her eyes? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Well she did not text me today (of course I have not texted her due to her turning down my proposal of a date). Will not texting her (unless she texts me) build up some attraction again? Link to post Share on other sites
watermelonjuice Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 LOL can you have a talk with her for me? haha jk:lmao: I would have loved to help if I hadn't read her spiel about the friend staying with her. I think it's lame. Even if it was true and I was really a good friend, I would have suggested an alternative time for another date. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 My impression is that this girl is very 'up in the air'. She doesn't seem to like making solid plans, which suggests that she doesn't really know what she wants. Great for short-term fun but not great LTR material. As others have written, you don't seem to be very high on her priority list. Who knows how long this "friend staying with me" situation will last? Could be a couple of weekends, a month or two, rest of the year... You like her and you're keen but she doesn't seem to be in any rush to see you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 I would have loved to help if I hadn't read her spiel about the friend staying with her. I think it's lame. Even if it was true and I was really a good friend, I would have suggested an alternative time for another date. That is very true; I suppose I should scrap the idea of a second date. Do you agree that if she wants to see me again, she will contact me? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 My impression is that this girl is very 'up in the air'. She doesn't seem to like making solid plans, which suggests that she doesn't really know what she wants. Great for short-term fun but not great LTR material. As others have written, you don't seem to be very high on her priority list. Who knows how long this "friend staying with me" situation will last? Could be a couple of weekends, a month or two, rest of the year... You like her and you're keen but she doesn't seem to be in any rush to see you again. I always look forward to reading what you have to say:cool: If it hadn't been for the kiss, the idea of a second date would have been long gone by now. But I think you bring up some great points: -She does not like making plans (doesn't know what she wants) -Could be lying about her friend -If she liked me enough, what is holding her back from asking me out? But if there was anything I could do at this point to increase the chances of a second date, what would that be? Thanks January:p Link to post Share on other sites
Trovador Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Make the headlines... in a good way... Really... Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 But if there was anything I could do at this point to increase the chances of a second date, what would that be? For once, I'm stumped. Cooling off hasn't worked. Pursuing her hasn't worked. You've already told her that you like her and now the ball is in her court to get back to you. I really think you've done all that you can. I'm sorry, it really does look like you missed your window of opportunity by declining her breakfast invite. The ball was dropped at that point. I suggest sending out a few introductory messages on OKCupid, it might help to be more proactive in looking for alternatives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 For once, I'm stumped. Cooling off hasn't worked. Pursuing her hasn't worked. You've already told her that you like her and now the ball is in her court to get back to you. I really think you've done all that you can. I'm sorry, it really does look like you missed your window of opportunity by declining her breakfast invite. The ball was dropped at that point. I suggest sending out a few introductory messages on OKCupid, it might help to be more proactive in looking for alternatives. Thank Jan! I am dropping it! I actually started talking to this one girl in class last night, but when it came down to asking her out, I dropped the ball. I have one more question for all of you:laugh:. I really liked her friends (acquaintances). I was thinking about calling one of her friends and seeing if he wanted to go out for a beer. Is that weird, seeing as he knows the girl who I went on a date with? lol Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 She just texted me saying "we're going to X" This is the bar where we first met. Should I go? Or will I come across as her personal dog? ahhahah Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 She just texted me saying "we're going to X" This is the bar where we first met. Should I go? Or will I come across as her personal dog? ahhahah You met her in a bar??? Not good dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 You met her in a bar??? Not good dude. Nope, we met online, then went to hang out at a bar where I met her friends. She is not not a party animal. Pierre, what do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
red shoes Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Did she ask you to join her? Or did she just tell you where she was going? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 Did she ask you to join her? Or did she just tell you where she was going? She just told me where she was going. I met the "guy friend" that is staying at her place over the weekend and he is ridiculously good looking, and we have the same personality. lol So we're in a bar and she texts me "I want to kiss you." She looked so gorgeous. Just imagine being with someone whom you are so physically and emotionally attracted to. And yet I know she is flakey and if I ask her out, she can't make it. haha:p I am so lost, for I think she is super awesome, but I just wish she'd be into me like this all the time. She is soooooo cute!!! Link to post Share on other sites
fetish1980 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 So we're in a bar and she texts me "I want to kiss you." She looked so gorgeous. Just imagine being with someone whom you are so physically and emotionally attracted to. And yet I know she is flakey and if I ask her out, she can't make it. haha:p Ok, i'm confused by the bolded text. So how do you know she looked so gorgeous? Did you actually go the bar and see her? fetish Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 Yes I did, and we were hanging out with her "so-called" friend and then she texts me, "I want to kiss you." It was weird, for I did not want to make him feel uncomfortable, and I was trying to score points with the friend (which was easy cause he is a nice guy) but the downside is that I never got to kiss her. We have been texting all day, but I don't know what is going to happen. I really think our personalities click, but I wonder whether she is looking for a relationship or just a fling. So I am just going to play it by ear and take it from there. Link to post Share on other sites
fetish1980 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 bro, She's somewhat of a gamer and an attention whore. Not relationship material what so ever right now. I think seeing her at the bar may have set you back a tad and memerized you a little, thus making this "mission" or what ever seem a little more daunting. I don't know if you're just wanting to get laid by this girl, but there's too many red flags for a relationship. However, you will have to play this right with strategy. It's complicated with a male friend in the picture. I personally would not have met her with another "male" friend. That's just a boundary i set for myself. It's almost like becoming someone's second best. Even though she may have sent you that text, how can she really give you her full undivided attention when there's someone else in the way? No sir. I certainly wouldn't have been trying to score points with him. WTF for? To get in good with her? WRONG Sorry to rain on your parade, but i would not get overly excited about that text. I think you should try to probe her more on that question like "Well when do you plan on making it possible for that to happen?" or "You're just all talk". Try teasing her a little and make it seem like you're more of a challenge. Right now, you're falling into making yourself seem too willing and available. That's why she's behaving this way, treating you more like an option rather than a priority. Women can sense when they can have someone they want, any time they want. So chill on the nice lovey dovey texts. Step up to the plate and get a little more aggressive (in a nice, teasing kind of way). Start calling her out a little bit on her bs and get her to lay her cards on the table. fetish Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) Hey Fetish, So she has primarily guy friends, for I have met one of her girlfriends and 5-8 of her guy friends. And most of them are relatively attractive as well, but I don't get the impression that she is sleeping with any of them. My issue is that she doesn't say "good night" or "I want to see you again to me." I know she may be portrayed as a party animal on here, but she really is not. She is just super flakey (in my experience with her). She hardly drinks!!! If she wanted a relationship at this point, wouldn't she be more into me? I feel like I am beating a dead horse with this thread. I really like her, but do not want to scare her away either (otherwise I would be more assertive). But showing emotions over text is kinda weird too. And also, the only time that we have met up was really in a bar, with all of her friends. We met for coffee once, and that lasted 30 minutes. So we haven't spent a lot of time alone. I don't want to get friend zoned either, so next time we meet I will have to show her more physical attention and kiss her. Edited October 3, 2011 by Johnny85 j Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Hey Fetish, So she has primarily guy friends, for I have met one of her girlfriends and 5-8 of her guy friends. And most of them are relatively attractive as well, but I don't get the impression that she is sleeping with any of them. My issue is that she doesn't say "good night" or "I want to see you again to me." I know she may be portrayed as a party animal on here, but she really is not. She is just super flakey (in my experience with her). She hardly drinks!!! If she wanted a relationship at this point, wouldn't she be more into me? I feel like I am beating a dead horse with this thread. I really like her, but do not want to scare her away either (otherwise I would be more assertive). But showing emotions over text is kinda weird too. And also, the only time that we have met up was really in a bar, with all of her friends. We met for coffee once, and that lasted 30 minutes. So we haven't spent a lot of time alone. I don't want to get friend zoned either, so next time we meet I will have to show her more physical attention and kiss her. I would never date this woman. You need to run from her as fast as you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johnny85 Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 (edited) I would never date this woman. You need to run from her as fast as you can. Well guys gravitate towards her cause she has a cool personality. I really do like her; I just hate playing games. Next time I see her (hopefully soon), most likely in some stupid bar again, I am gonna pull her aside and kiss her. Enough with this passive personality of mine. She has initiated the last two intimate situations: 1) the good night kiss; 2) the text saying, "I want to kiss you." And it is so nice to hang out with a girl who I am having fun with. I have been so lonely since my gf and I broke up in January, and I just love being with a girl who gives me that:"I really like you look." At the same time, sporadic is her middle name. l never know when I am gonna see her again, and asking her out via text is a gamble. Edited October 3, 2011 by Johnny85 j Link to post Share on other sites
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