Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Working wont solve all of your problems. I've worked before and it never made me feel any better. Anyway, I'm not sure if I still want to go to therapy anymore, because he keeps trying to push push push me all the time. I keep telling him that I've got too much on my plate at the moment, and that I'm feeling very depressed and findsing it too hard to cope, burt he doesn't seem to get the message. I just wanted to be able to see him once a week for support and to have someone to talk to face to face about my problems, and to support me while I move forward/make progress at 'my' own comfortable pace. The neighbours keep playing loud music everyday as well which has totally worn me down, I can never relax or feel at peace anymore. There's no escape form it, I can hear it in every room in the house, and I've got zero confidence to go round them and tell them TO SHUT THE **** UP. Edited September 4, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Working wont solve all of your problems. I've worked before and it never made me feel any better. Anyway, I'm not sure if I still want to go to therapy anymore, because he keeps trying to push push push me all the time. I keep telling him that I've got too much on my plate at the moment, and that I'm feeling very depressed and findsing it too hard to cope, burt he doesn't seem to get the message. I just wanted to be able to see him once a week for support and to have someone to talk to face to face about my problems, and to support me while I move forward/make progress at 'my' own comfortable pace. The neighbours keep playing loud music everyday as well which has totally worn me down, I can never relax or feel at peace anymore. There's no escape form it, I can hear it in every room in the house, and I've got zero confidence to go round them and tell them TO SHUT THE **** UP. What would that look like? How would you like to work to make progress/ move forward? If you can explain to the therapist, it might help. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Working wont solve all of your problems. I've worked before and it never made me feel any better. Anyway, I'm not sure if I still want to go to therapy anymore, because he keeps trying to push push push me all the time. I keep telling him that I've got too much on my plate at the moment, and that I'm feeling very depressed and findsing it too hard to cope, burt he doesn't seem to get the message. I just wanted to be able to see him once a week for support and to have someone to talk to face to face about my problems, and to support me while I move forward/make progress at 'my' own comfortable pace. The neighbours keep playing loud music everyday as well which has totally worn me down, I can never relax or feel at peace anymore. There's no escape form it, I can hear it in every room in the house, and I've got zero confidence to go round them and tell them TO SHUT THE **** UP. But your own comfortable pace hasn't worked for you. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Being going though lots of really bad luck. First I had 3 driving incidents, then on that same day I found out that my money had been stopped, then the neighbours start playing really loud music everyday, then I get told my car is on it's last legs, then I had to have an expensive repair done on the car, which was the last thing I needed because of the money being stopped, the I go to have my ear syringed but they couldn't remove the wax, so my ear stayed blocked, and the soonest next appointment I could get was in 3 weeks time, after this I'm sure some other bad things had happened, then I ruin a brand new expensive puzzle by trying to adjust the tension on it, and now today I nearly ran someone over, and I went to have my ear syringed but they said it's completely clear, yet, it still feels blocked, so it looks like maybe my ear is permenently damaged and it'll be like this for the rest of my life. I don't understand why you're still driving if you're constantly having these accidents. Surely you SHOULD NOT DRIVE. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 But your own comfortable pace hasn't worked for you. It has, I used to be a lot worse off than I am now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 I don't understand why you're still driving if you're constantly having these accidents. Surely you SHOULD NOT DRIVE. Everyone else says that i should and that having incidents is nothing to worry about and they happen to everyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 What would that look like? How would you like to work to make progress/ move forward? If you can explain to the therapist, it might help. I honestly don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 IMO, speaking to the neighbours is one step that you need to take, Ross. The loud music seems to be the root of most of your problems right now, and chances are if you get that fixed you'll have a little peace of mind and your ear problems will resolve. So, try and follow these steps: 1. Go over when they are playing the music loudly, knock on their door, be polite but firm about it. Explain how it is causing you health problems. If they agree to stop, great. If they don't, or if they are rude in any way, simply turn around and leave. 2. In that case, you need to find out how to file a city council report or such about it, depending on where you live. You can ask others in the area who you can speak to about it, but there will always be an authority whom you can file a report with. As you live in a decent town in the UK, my guess is that the authorities will step up and do what is needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 IMO, speaking to the neighbours is one step that you need to take, Ross. The loud music seems to be the root of most of your problems right now, and chances are if you get that fixed you'll have a little peace of mind and your ear problems will resolve. So, try and follow these steps: 1. Go over when they are playing the music loudly, knock on their door, be polite but firm about it. Explain how it is causing you health problems. If they agree to stop, great. If they don't, or if they are rude in any way, simply turn around and leave. 2. In that case, you need to find out how to file a city council report or such about it, depending on where you live. You can ask others in the area who you can speak to about it, but there will always be an authority whom you can file a report with. As you live in a decent town in the UK, my guess is that the authorities will step up and do what is needed. I just honestly can't face asking the neighbours to turn it down. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Why? (10 chars) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Why? (10 chars) I just haven't got the confidence, I'm too shy, too scared, too anxious. I'm also worried they might get angry with me. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 But what do you think is the worst that could happen, compared to the worst that could happen if you do not try? Which do you think is preferable? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 But what do you think is the worst that could happen, compared to the worst that could happen if you do not try? Which do you think is preferable? I don't know, I don't know what to think. All I know is that I just cannot do it. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Everyone else says that i should and that having incidents is nothing to worry about and they happen to everyone. What? Surely you're joking? You've had five accidents in a matter of weeks. That is nowhere near normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 What? Surely you're joking? You've had five accidents in a matter of weeks. That is nowhere near normal. I'm telling the truth. Most people tell me I shouldn't give up driving, and that having incidents is normal. I used to think that it wasn't normal, and that I should give up driving, but whenever I have mentioned it to anyone, whether online or in real life they have disagreed. Only two other people as well as yourself have said that I should stop driving or get some more lessons. Link to post Share on other sites
AlexDP Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I'm telling the truth. Most people tell me I shouldn't give up driving, and that having incidents is normal. I used to think that it wasn't normal, and that I should give up driving, but whenever I have mentioned it to anyone, whether online or in real life they have disagreed. Only two other people as well as yourself have said that I should stop driving or get some more lessons. Please elaborate on the incidents. What exactly are they? Anything that I'd call an incident would definitely not be normal for me. I've had a driving licence for three years and have driven in Belgium, Spain, France, Holland, Switzerland, Italy, the United States and Canada without having had a single incident. That includes 6000 miles in the USA and Canada this past summer. Now I'm not saying I will never be involved in an accident: anyone can be. But you're having multiple incidents in a short amount of time. That is not normal and not safe. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I honestly don't know. Can you name just one thing/action that is within your control that would improve your life? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Can you name just one thing/action that is within your control that would improve your life? I guess I could try working out again, but I don't know how much that will improve my life. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I guess I could try working out again, but I don't know how much that will improve my life. Did it help the last time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Does anyone else think I should stop driving? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 Did it help the last time? I think being more bigger helped me feel a bit better within myself. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Does anyone else think I should stop driving? Driving is freedom. Take that from someone who had to take the keys and car away from his own mother after she had been driving for over 65 years.. Horrible. Keep driving. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 I think being more bigger helped me feel a bit better within myself. OK, then why don't you try that. Nothing to lose. I feel better when I exercise, too. It also impacts my mental health positively. There's some kind of connection there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Please elaborate on the incidents. What exactly are they? Anything that I'd call an incident would definitely not be normal for me. I've had a driving licence for three years and have driven in Belgium, Spain, France, Holland, Switzerland, Italy, the United States and Canada without having had a single incident. That includes 6000 miles in the USA and Canada this past summer. Now I'm not saying I will never be involved in an accident: anyone can be. But you're having multiple incidents in a short amount of time. That is not normal and not safe. Over the past 3 or 4 months, there's been 4 incidents, not accidents, incidents. 1. Driving down an unfamiliar fairly narrow street with parked cars along one side of it, so passing an oncoming car hardly leaves you with any space. I was going along, and then there was an oncoming car, the parked cars were on his side so I guess it should've been him who gave way. I think I was going a little too fast as I wasn't used to that kind of street, as soon as the oncoming car got near, I thought I wasn't going to make it, so I braked quickly and turned a bit to the left, which resulted in my tyre hitting/scraping against the curb, coming to a halt and stalling the car, the other car carried on as though he didn't have a care in the world. I guess maybe this might be more nearer to an 'accident' than 'incident' since my tyre did hit the side of the curb. 2. I was driving down a main road with a car behind me, I was slowing down and hesitating because my sister wanted me to pull over somewhere so she could go into the shop, I wasn't sure if I could just pull over and park at the side of the main road, and the car behind me beeped at me, just because I was going a bit slow and hesitating for about 5 to 10 seconds. 3. I was driving along my sisters street, and there was a parked car on one side of the road, and a parked van opposite on the other side of the road, I think because I was already flustered from the other two incidents, that as I got really close to them I only just realised that I may not fit through and I had to suddenly brake. I still wasn't sure if I could make it through so I just parked behind the van, and me and my sister had to get the shopping out of the car and carry it all the way up the street to her house. These 3 things happened in one day. Usually I'm not that unlucky. 4. About 2 or 3 months later, I was driving while I was pretty tired (I never thought that I shouldn't be driving because of being tired, but now I always make sure that I don't drive when I feel tired), my mum was going on at me making me confused about whether I was going to give her a lift back home or not and where I was going to park, so I was tired and distracted, I was coming up to a pedestrian crossing (which you're supposed to stop at if someone is waiting to cross, or if someone is already crossing it (obviously), I didn't see this old woman crossing it, until she was near to my car (she wasn't directly infront of my car, but several feet over to the side), but she had either already stopped walking, or she stopped walking 'after' I spotted her out of the corner of my eye, when it would've looked like I wasn't going to stop . I thought '****', and came to a sudden stop, because you're supposed to stop at a pedestrian crossing, and it was just a split second rection after seeing her out of the corner of my eye (I guess for that split second I wasn't sure if she had stopped or was still walking). I didn't have to stop so suddenly that it was an emergency break or that the tyres screeched though. Plus, the woman was kind of in the wrong too. Even though thy have right of way at a pedestrian crossing, you shouldn't just walk over it when a car is coming towards it that is showing no signs of slowing down, and to just expect them to stop or to see you. Whenever I'm at a pedestrian crossing, I make sure that the cars have started to slow down first (so I know they're going to stop), before crossing. So that's what has happened over the past 3 or 4 months. I've been driving for 4 years, granted I've not been that adventureous while driving and have totally limited myself to fairly simple routes, and haven't driven as much as the average person would have driven over this time period, I've just driven around 3000 miles, due to low confidence in my driving ability and suffering from anxiety, but the only 'accident' I've had in this whole time was a few weeks after I got my first car and I scraped the corner of my bumper against a post. Around a year ago, I was feeling very unconfident about my driving ability, and was thinking maybe I should give up, maybe I shouldn't have a license. I told my doctor this, and he said, if you weren't fit for driving, you wouldn't have passed your driving test for the first time (I'm sure the driving test in the UK is one of the strictest or maybe the strictest driving test in the world). And he does seem to have a point. Edited September 5, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted September 5, 2012 Author Share Posted September 5, 2012 OK, then why don't you try that. Nothing to lose. I feel better when I exercise, too. It also impacts my mental health positively. There's some kind of connection there. I'll try. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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