Will he ever grow up?

[foxyminer]

I have been with my bf for 6+ yrs and recently moved out because of problems and his infidelity. I feel the infidelity may be over, though he said he would quit going out so much on weekends. He has to go out and drink to oblivion and then stay out unil 3-4. He is 33 and I am 35. It's been a month and a half since I moved out and I need advise. We are going to counseling, but I don't know if he will ever be ready to settle down, I am sick to my stomach over whether to end it or not. We do get along great, though the partying on the weekend had to stop (that's one thing that led to the infidelity) How will I ever know if he is telling me the truth that he is just going to quit going out because he can't go out and not get drinking like that and doesn' t know when to go home.DO you tink he will ever grow up

[Guest]

NO, Once a cheater, always a cheater...........nine times out of ten anyway.

 

You should leave now, before you get hurt even more.

[Matilda]

Hmm, sounds like my first husband. We divorced 10 years ago, and he still does that stuff, he is now in his 40's. I think you need to sit down and think about you, and what you want out of life. Make a list of qualities you want in a man/partner. What kind of man do you want to be the father of your children? (If you want children.) What kind of life do you want to live? You are not married to this man, and I'm assuming you don't have children with him, so please think about what you want your life to be like.

 

I know when my first husband and I divorced, it was a huge relief. He was like a child, and when I had a baby, I realized I didn't need to take care of him too. After we divorced, I met a wonderful man, who actually is a partner and enhances my life. Gettin along great is not enough to sustain a long term relationship.