yzf0600 Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 [font=times new roman][/font][color=black][/color] I have just recently found this forum and after reading some of the message I thought I would pose to the group something that I have been going over. My wife and I are trying to save our marriage, but I'm not sure that this will happen due to, to much bad water under the bridge. The issues are not from infidelity (to the best of my knowledge). I have to be honest and say that a part of wants very badly to mend the marriage and the other part would like to move on. My concern is for my 5yr old son and my 10 yr old step son and custody/visitation. My wife is an excellent mother and my goal would not be to hurt her in any way. Since the 10 year old is my step son I do not have any say with him but, I am concerned about the relationship between the kids. THe little one really looks up to the older. I was hoping that in the event of separation/divorce we might have joint custody, splitting the week, summer, vacations and holidays with my wife. I would really want full custody but I know my wife would not except that and no judge would take custody from her since the little one is young. I guess my real questions are; Has anyone had similar experiences and how did the children handle it, How bad can a marriage go bad (not including abuse or cheating) can a marriage go off course and still be saved? yzf0600 Link to post Share on other sites
Matilda Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 What have you done so far to save the marriage? Like Dr. Phil says, you need to work to get out of marriage, meaning you need to try everything you can, before you divorce. I think this is especially true when kids are involved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yzf0600 Posted May 13, 2004 Author Share Posted May 13, 2004 We had a discussion last night and agreed to try counseling, individual, family or couple what ever type was determined (by us or the counselor) to be the best type. We are just starting out in the process. We have from time to time discussed the relationship problems but not much had been done up to now. One of the issues we have deals with trust. Not in trust as it relates to being monogamous, but trusting in what was said. Trust that past issues and character flaws (previous to our meeting) had been addressed. Personality traits, and misrepresentation of certain personality traits. Promises made in the beginning etc. I have started the search for a counselor, she said she would try starting today and then we will bring the names together and chose together I guess. Please understand that when I speak of the above mentioned items, I speak of both of us. Link to post Share on other sites
hope&pray Posted May 13, 2004 Share Posted May 13, 2004 Out of all the threads I've read, it sounds like you have the best chance of staying married, from what you have said. Good luck. Sorry everybody else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yzf0600 Posted May 13, 2004 Author Share Posted May 13, 2004 Thanks for the responses and the positive note. To all others good luck and my prayers are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
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