bdbmwer Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 So my current situation summarized is that we broke up with no real hard feelings after 2 months she told friend I was great boyfriend but that I was a tad controlling. i myself initiated the break by repeatedly asking if she wanted it instead of saying "lets talk about it" like a smart person. However I think she believes truly she broke up with me in the end. She tried to continue contact and being friends and meeting up right after but I told her i couldnt handle that at the moment and went on NC. Class rolled around a week later after me removing her from fb and ignoring her in class the week before but this time i decided my mind was where it needed to be I had the mentality to move on but the willingness to try for my ex. So on monday I saw her leaning against the wall outside of class looking very solemn to be there and I approached her calm and confident and said hi and she immediately grinned from ear to ear and practically exploded with conversation. I said just enough to keep the convo going but let her do most of the talking and she was happy to tell me what shed been up to and with what friends. talking died out as class progressed until the teacher released us and i smiled and said "(her name) it was nice catching up with you" to which she jiterrily replied positively and smiled. So now ive come to a crossroads. Do I act like the relationship never happened and continue these talks and progress things to casual lunch and so forth? OR do I call her up agree with the break, tell her how it has helped me change positively, realise certain things I could have done better, and basically tell her how I wish we wouldve just communicated that night instead of abruptly ending things as our relationship communication was rather great before this event. and that im not asking to get right back together but rather that we start hanging out like friends would and see where it takes us." all the while I intend to sound non-accusitive and forward opposed to needy. SIMPLIFIED, Is it better to address the issue now that were on good terms or to act as if it never happened, continue with these friendly engagements and hope it naturally progresses? Link to post Share on other sites
silly_panda Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Address the issue first... Let your past relationship with her die and leave it as that... Then continue with what you are doing now and see how things turn out... If both of you feel the same way and think that there is another chance to get back together, then it will be a new relationship for both of you... Take it as a new one and don't bring back issues from your old relationship... Good luck... Link to post Share on other sites
TheDovic Posted September 28, 2011 Share Posted September 28, 2011 Personally I'd go for option 2, see how things go! But, make sure not to be controlling and DON'T fall into the friend zone. Tease her, don't tell her everything about you (i.e. be a bit mysterious) and be confident. Also don't act like her therapist listening to all of her problems, because that makes you a friend!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bdbmwer Posted September 28, 2011 Author Share Posted September 28, 2011 just decided this is all wrong my idea of DOING anything because its natural for us men to want to DO. Think im going to just be nice talk in class let her come to me if she doesnt oh well . Link to post Share on other sites
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