Emotional Detachment

[betterdeal]

Hello folks.

 

Emotional detachment is something that can help us to live a more free and happier life. It is especially useful for those of us who felt we were always giving ground and making the allowances for someone else, those of us who felt like a doormat.

 

At the end of a difficult relationship where our emotional boundaries were blurred, it can feel completely bewildering as to who was responsible for what. Maybe you believe the insinuations and accusations of betrayal, or feel guilty even though they're the one sleeping around. You don't know where you end and they begin, and still have that urge to help them, but you know, whether consciously or not, that this relationship has hurt you and, furthermore, not helped them.

 

Here's an article that may be of interest:

 

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

 

I see over-enmeshment on these fora. I've been guilty of it myself. But I also see some stellar examples of concern and kindness offered by very aware posters who do so without taking ownership of someone else's problems.

[tykira]

Thanks so much for sharing! This'll definitely help me with my situation :-)

[Kamille]

Thanks for sharing this betterdeal. I started reading it thinking about new ex and I, but instead ended up thinking about my relationship with one of my parents.

 

It's made me realize I've come a long way since starting therapy and has helped me assess what it is I want to work on in the future.

 

I feel stronger for reading it.

[whichwayisup]

I just saved the link and will read it later.

 

One thing that has happened naturally since I turned the big F.O, is detachment. Not to all, but to certain people. Its like something in me just clicked and for all those years and times I put others first, felt like I couldn't say no (obligation, guilt, or just liking to go out of my way to help others) caught up to me. As appreciative as most were, it was one sided. I never ask for help, or anything in return yet sometimes felt disappointed that not too many offered help without being asked.

 

Another thing I've noticed, handling situations better, aka, my MOM! Again it's like that click/turn off in me just took over and things that used really bug me or upset me (her comments etc) don't anymore. or maybe it's learning to pick your battles!

 

Not caring what others think, what counts is what I think and feel, not having or wanting ANYBODY's approval, not needing to be validated. That feels good and in some way, has made me feel more "adult" like and grown up! If that makes any sense.

 

Thanks for the post, it's so interesting, hope others post their thoughts too.