Baffled by it all....when it all seemed alright

[BoyinWonder]

So I have posted before about the breakup, now I have those normal and typical curiosity questions. Does the length of how long two people were together play any part in the second chance one may get?

 

Do people change so much from being around the one they say they love and who never did anything to hurt the other that they can all of a sudden seemingly not care about the other and not want to talk or is that a front to hide that the person really is hurting on the inside?

 

I feel like since we really haven't talked to one another, I am trying very hard on this no contact thing, that she hates me all of a sudden and never wants to speak to me again for some reason. Or is it that we were together so long she really just wants space for a little while from me and we will try again?

 

I love her dearly and did everything in my power for her and to make her happy, now it's like she doesn't even care about me. I miss her everyday and know she must be hurting somewhere, b/c she had someone who truly loved her for the right reasons and cherished her. Eventually that has got to eat at someone and have them realize what they are missing right??

[BoyinWonder]

Guess I asked the tough questions since I seemed to have stumped people

By the way, we were together almost 4 years. But have known eachother for 5. Been the best of friends the whole time. She seems to have lost herself in work lately from what I hear.

 

I know I saw her out with a guy once, not sure if I should worry or not if she is still seeing him or if that was short lived. I figure she has always been the type to bring work home and I know she has a lot on her plate with work lately that if she is with somone new, they aren't getting much of her time. It's been almost 3 months apart from one another, I miss her more and more everyday and just wish for her return so we can work it all out and hold and love eachother like we so comfortably did before.

[Pyrannaste]

Originally posted by BoyinWonder

So I have posted before about the breakup, now I have those normal and typical curiosity questions. Does the length of how long two people were together play any part in the second chance one may get?

 

To me it plays a big part. The more time I was with someone and the more effort i invested in a relationship, the harder I'll try to make it work.

Also, someone who was with me a long time, and was a nice guy most of the time and treated me well, would get more easily a second chance, unless he had done the unforgivable.

If my partner on the contrary was with me for a long time and acted a jerk all the time, the more I was with him, the more I'll be fed up and not willing to give him a second chance.

 

Do people change so much from being around the one they say they love and who never did anything to hurt the other that they can all of a sudden seemingly not care about the other and not want to talk or is that a front to hide that the person really is hurting on the inside?

 

I think it depends on the individual. Some people stop contacts with the dumper/dumpee cold turkey, and act indifferent because they really feel they had enough of that person. Some people won't talk to their ex because they don't want to get hurt.

 

I feel like since we really haven't talked to one another, I am trying very hard on this no contact thing, that she hates me all of a sudden and never wants to speak to me again for some reason. Or is it that we were together so long she really just wants space for a little while from me and we will try again?

 

If you did not do anything that made her dump you, it's likely that she does not hate you, she just needs space. Perhaps she needs not to talk to you not to let her emotions/feelings interfere with her brain while she thinks what she really wants to do with her life, and she decides if she has really done the right thing or will miss you.

 

I love her dearly and did everything in my power for her and to make her happy, now it's like she doesn't even care about me. I miss her everyday and know she must be hurting somewhere, b/c she had someone who truly loved her for the right reasons and cherished her. Eventually that has got to eat at someone and have them realize what they are missing right??

 

Not always people realize what they are missing....sometimes they do.

When they don't miss you then it's a sign they were not the right person.

I hope you'll hear from you again and things will get better. Good luck with her.

[BoyinWonder]

How do I know if she misses me or not?? Right now it seems like she doesn't. But there is a part of me that is saying she is hurting inside. That little voice in her saying hey, what about him, he loves you and was great to you.

 

I think if she had enough of me I would of heard those words, not her words of I don't know, and confusion.

 

I miss her more and more everyday b/c we truly had a special relationship for almost 4 years. I have the faith of a mustard seed and feel it in my heart she will eventually she me and us for what we had and will give us a chance, I just have to keep up what I have been doing of not contacting her and letting her be for a little while. We've been apart for 3 months but only in this last month has she really not been talking.

 

Guess she realized she wasn't solving anything with me still there, just needed that space for now. To breathe for a bit, gather her life and what she wants. That was a great reply by the way.