First Therapist- disappointed

[esteem-jam]

So my mom signed me for this therapist in our town. I asked for some in another towns, but she hesitated at that, because of the cost probably.

So, I was at her 2 weeks ago, and I will go this saturday too.

 

Thing is, I think we are on different frequencies with her. From my point, I divide all therapists into 2 sorts- one go into psychology to solve their own problems, the other do it to solve other`s problems. I got the impression she was the first kind. She seemed emotionally weaker than myself. Like someone who sufferend from bullying or physical abuse. I told her numerous times during our first talk that "we dont jive".

It seemed all too amateurish, she put some meditation type music in background (the CD skipped later), asked something like "what is your first childhood memory". Seemed like she wanted to recreate something she saw on TV.

I asked maybe she can set up a diagnosis and do CBT stuff, cause from what I understand thats universal anywhere.

 

Really sad, cause when I am at the point of getting help, I get this.

[PelicanPete]

Well, It's a shame to hear your therapy session didn't go as you would have hoped. I have never needed to go to therapy, but I am in school to become one. If you don't mind me asking, why are you going to therapy in the first place? What is your goal?

 

From my point, I divide all therapists into 2 sorts- one go into psychology to solve their own problems, the other do it to solve other`s problems. I got the impression she was the first kind.

 

I just wanted to comment on this point because I found it interesting.

 

I think it is safe to say that every decent therapist became interested in Psychology for their own benefit. From my personal experience, I found it as a vessel towards my own self development and understanding of the world. Some people find it through working on cars, other people find it through playing sports, others find it through art, but the one thing we all have in common is that we're doing what satisfies us. We all have different realities, therefore we need to do different activities to satisfy them.

 

Consider this, if there was no feeling of satisfaction or pleasure when helping someone, would you do it? You probably wouldn't. In fact, helping them probably wouldn't even cross your mind. We do it all for #1 in the end, that's just how were wired. Person A does something nice for Person B because Person A is rewarded with the feeling of charity and accomplishment. When you are satisfied, you naturally help others whether you're aware of it or not. With that said, I chose to respond to this mainly with my own emotional well being in mind. I want to continue to feel good, and helping you is a side effect of that. I'm not being selfish, I'm just being honest.

 

In the end, you gotta ask yourself if you even want therapy in the first place. I understand some people just don't click, but you have to give the psychologist something to work with in order for them to try to help you. If you give them nothing, they're probably just going to be awkwardly floundering around in the dark tryin' to catch something. You could even resurrect Mr.Freud and have some sessions with him, but if you never give him a chance he will never be able to help you.

 

My best opinion would be to return to the next session with a sense of purpose and a goal in mind for your therapist to play with. If you have a goal and she is clearly aware of that, try to open your mind and really listen to what she has to say aside from pointing out her flaws. If you're able to do that with no success, then you gave it your best shot. Some cogs just don't mesh.

 

Good luck

[esteem-jam]

Thanks for your reply.

Maybe you have heard of this, there was some study/results with "looking at diseased people boosts your immune system". Two quick search results:

http://gawker.com/5510343/looking-at-sick-people-boosts-your-immune-system

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/sex-murder-and-the-meaning-life/201004/the-psychological-immune-system

 

About being satisfied with helping others, I think everyone knows this. But doctors in general I think are like vampires, they got to look each day at sick, sad people and comparing to their patients they know they are way stronger in their health/life. Works the other way round too, if you put a ugly person in a model show he/she will feel uncomfortable. And the other other way, put a attractive person in a ugly ugly environment and he/she will feel super comfortable.

 

And thats why Im trying therapy, I guess? Cause I feel I dont belong anywhere. Ashamed of my looks, but mostly hiding this. In every social circle I feel like I am excluded and joked upon. Anger, suicidal thoughts- is this normal? Wouldnt be surprised to know Im labeled "towns loser", maybe nobody would tell me this upfront out of politeness, but I know what I feel.

 

Youre right about "give something to work with". I did tell her that I thought this would be like old buddies talking about lifes problems, but the thing is she doesnt know anything, and will know only when I tell. I guess I was looking for something like a mentor, whom Id respect and who would guide me.

[whichwayisup]

Forget the pyschologist, shrink stuff. Find a therapist who really specializes in CBT. Google it and put your City or Town in. Check your local hospitals, universities, colleges, any health care unit too.

 

It takes a while to find the 'right' person you can click with and feel a bond, a trust where you feel safe.

 

I suffered from anxiety and panic attacks, saw a few different therapists (i knew after the first session they were a NO GO) until I found someone I felt good opening up to and letting them help me.