Finally figured out what to tell him

[WhiteChocolate]

The ignorance, idiocy, and stupidity on these boards is beyond tolerable.

I'm surprised that a Christian would say this. Your holier-than-thou attitude is what turns so many people away from Christianity.

 

What you are saying is: you don't believe what I believe about spiritual ghosts and thus you are an idiot heathen.

 

But if you look in the Bible, there is nothing about spiritual ghosts. Sure, spiritual unions between man and wife exist, but having sex with someone who has made no committment to you does NOT make him/her "yours."

 

Even if some biological component of yours was given, it still does not allow for the possession of another human being or make him/her obligated to you for ANYTHING.

[LynnieBear]

Actually,

LynnieBear may be onto something.

 

Of course, not everyone equates sex with love.

While someone who may have had sex with many people may not be emotionally "bonded" to another and may forget some details, there certainly is a closeness intercourse brings.

 

Else wise, why do some blush or act differently when later they see the other in public -- particularly in a group of people?

 

Long after the two have parted-- that "uncomfortable" feeling remains.

They've given a part of themselves to the other.

Sex is more than just a physical act.

One never forgets who they had sex with. Trust me on this one.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3652791&postcount=316

 

You think I've gotten that woman out of my memory?

No, we weren't emotionally bonded, but we experienced a physical closeness reserved for those who....

 

I agree with this.

[LynnieBear]

I'm surprised that a Christian would say this. Your holier-than-thou attitude is what turns so many people away from Christianity.

 

What you are saying is: you don't believe what I believe about spiritual ghosts and thus you are an idiot heathen.

 

But if you look in the Bible, there is nothing about spiritual ghosts. Sure, spiritual unions between man and wife exist, but having sex with someone who has made no committment to you does NOT make him/her "yours."

 

Even if some biological component of yours was given, it still does not allow for the possession of another human being or make him/her obligated to you for ANYTHING.

 

and yes, I do think people without these values and morals are stupid. You better believe that having sex with me does make whoever it is "mine" because I will be married before we do. Nobody has the right to leave me.

[LynnieBear]

If someone goes far enough to sleep with me, they then have a responsibility to me. This is why sex before marriage is stupid. You're tied to someone after you do that.

[erika2610]

If someone goes far enough to sleep with me, they then have a responsibility to me. This is why sex before marriage is stupid. You're tied to someone after you do that.

 

Even if you wait until after you're married to have sex, your man can still leave you. Anybody can up and leave at any time.

 

And if the "stupidity" on these boards in intolerable - why do you keep coming back?

[denise_xo]

If someone goes far enough to sleep with me, they then have a responsibility to me. This is why sex before marriage is stupid. You're tied to someone after you do that.

 

The reality is that many people don't feel an obligation to someone after having sex, and they also divorce. I think if you take real world dynamics into consideration, it would greatly improve your chances of finding a healthy relationship that is also in line with your values.

[thatone]

and yes, I do think people without these values and morals are stupid. You better believe that having sex with me does make whoever it is "mine" because I will be married before we do. Nobody has the right to leave me.

 

but they do.

[WhiteChocolate]

and yes, I do think people without these values and morals are stupid. You better believe that having sex with me does make whoever it is "mine" because I will be married before we do. Nobody has the right to leave me.

You have no right to make a judgement call upon other people's values and morals. You don't know how they have been raised, you don't know what they have been through, you don't know what it is like to walk in their shoes.

 

I cannot stand the fact that you call anyone who does not share your values and morals STUPID.

 

At the very least, all people are guaranteed a certain amount of respect. Calling people who aren't like you STUPID is a gross undermining of this respect. Everyone is different; who are you to proclaim to be smart, and thus always right?

 

I would also so much rather hope a man stays because he loves me than because he feels he doesn't have the right to leave me. What is he, a chained dog?

 

Long paragraphs...

Your last paragraph confuses me. You say, "We find your integrity and decency attractive" so you are saying that Lynnie's core values are good. But what integrity and decency has she displayed? Refusal to display affection? Calling people who don't share her values idiots? Intolerance of other beliefs? Making a man "prove" his love before giving him her body, as if her vagina were made of gold?

 

I am honestly confused. Does a woman refraining from sex until the man proclaims his love really make the woman more chaste, pure, honest, loving, and morally decent?

 

Lynnie, I am not saying you are a bad person. I actually really admire you for holding out until marriage for the one you love. I'm just saying that I don't understand how that makes you better than everyone else who doesn't share those beliefs.

[Floridaman]

 

Lynnie, I am not saying you are a bad person. I actually really admire you for holding out until marriage for the one you love. I'm just saying that I don't understand how that makes you better than everyone else who doesn't share those beliefs.

Agree with these points, and like you, don't care for the name-calling.

I have certain views as I post but would never call others who disagree bad names.

 

LynnieBear, please refrain from name-calling. It will look better for you if you treat others in a civil manner.

 

 

Your last paragraph confuses me. You say, "We find your integrity and decency attractive" so you are saying that Lynnie's core values are good. But what integrity and decency has she displayed? Refusal to display affection? Calling people who don't share her values idiots? Intolerance of other beliefs? Making a man "prove" his love before giving him her body, as if her vagina were made of gold?

 

I am honestly confused. Does a woman refraining from sex until the man proclaims his love really make the woman more chaste, pure, honest, loving, and morally decent?

Methinks he's referencing a woman's "standards."

It does look better, IMO, when someone holds out for the right person or right reasons rather than have sex with everyone they date. (Not throwin' stones at those that do, though).

 

I understand where HotRodney's coming from here.

Some may not share his behavior, but he makes his case well and actually does have some respect for women like LynnieBear.

Was a good post from that perspective.

[LynnieBear]

Even if you wait until after you're married to have sex, your man can still leave you. Anybody can up and leave at any time.

 

 

But then I will have half of everything he has as compensation for the "milk" he stole. Nobody gets this for free. Nobody.

[LynnieBear]

The reality is that many people don't feel an obligation to someone after having sex, and they also divorce. I think if you take real world dynamics into consideration, it would greatly improve your chances of finding a healthy relationship that is also in line with your values.

 

If there was any bit of decency in their bodies, they would.

[denise_xo]

If there was any bit of decency in their bodies, they would.

 

It doesn't really matter what kind of images you create of how the world should be if, in the end, the world actually looks different. You need to take 'is' not 'ought' as a point of departure if you're going to have any success moving forward.

[LynnieBear]

No, the problem is the world. As a Christian, the problem will always be the world. Christians don't adhere to worldly things. The world needs to adhere to God. He created it. He can destroy it if He wants.

[WhiteChocolate]

No, the problem is the world. As a Christian, the problem will always be the world. Christians don't adhere to worldly things. The world needs to adhere to God. He created it. He can destroy it if He wants.

The problem is the world?

 

Genesis 1:31 - And God saw everything that he had made; and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

 

Adam and Eve ate the apple and caused sin to enter humankind. I don't think the problem is the world; it is humans. We are the sinners. When a man takes up a stick to beat his wife, he doesn't say, "The stick is evil, the stick made me do it! It is the stick that beat my wife, not me!"

 

And if you state that you meant for "the world" to mean non-Christian humans, then are Christians not human as well? I have always understood that ALL HUMANS, not just non-believers, are sinners and need Jesus and the glory of God.

 

I don't understand why you are bringing religion into this discussion anyways. The world has people. People will always sin against each other. There's no point in being self-righteous and complaining about it, while letting your soul rot in bitterness.

 

Lighten up! Open your eyes! Even people who don't believe the way you do can be good; don't be like a Levite who disparages a Samaritan! And EVERYBODY, no matter how "good," is capable of horrific acts. We are all equally unrighteous in the eyes of God anyways.

[TrueColors]

The problem is the world?

 

Genesis 1:31 - And God saw everything that he had made; and behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

 

Adam and Eve ate the apple and caused sin to enter humankind. I don't think the problem is the world; it is humans. We are the sinners. When a man takes up a stick to beat his wife, he doesn't say, "The stick is evil, the stick made me do it! It is the stick that beat my wife, not me!"

 

And if you state that you meant for "the world" to mean non-Christian humans, then are Christians not human as well? I have always understood that ALL HUMANS, not just non-believers, are sinners and need Jesus and the glory of God.

 

I don't understand why you are bringing religion into this discussion anyways. The world has people. People will always sin against each other. There's no point in being self-righteous and complaining about it, while letting your soul rot in bitterness.

 

Lighten up! Open your eyes! Even people who don't believe the way you do can be good; don't be like a Levite who disparages a Samaritan! And EVERYBODY, no matter how "good," is capable of horrific acts. We are all equally unrighteous in the eyes of God anyways.

 

Well said, WhiteChocolate.

 

And to the OP, you've had 2 years to figure out what to tell him. And you're only just coming out with this pointless crap now??

[Mme. Chaucer]

No, the problem is the world. As a Christian, the problem will always be the world. Christians don't adhere to worldly things. The world needs to adhere to God. He created it. He can destroy it if He wants.

 

Then you have some 'splainin' to do about how you feel justified in rejecting all the good, God fearing, bible thumping Christian boys just because they don't have long hair, the "right" clothes and handsome faces for you.

 

You seem like a hypocrite.

 

Also, I really don't know, but I suspect that this fellow will have a wonderful emotional bond with some girl one day … a girl who wants and accepts him for the person he really is. Something you are absolutely unwilling and / or unable to offer to any person.

Edited October 12, 2011 by Mme. Chaucer

[LynnieBear]

Then you have some 'splainin' to do about how you feel justified in rejecting all the good, God fearing, bible thumping Christian boys just because they don't have long hair, the "right" clothes and handsome faces for you.

 

You seem like a hypocrite.

 

Also, I really don't know, but I suspect that this fellow will have a wonderful emotional bond with some girl one day … a girl who wants and accepts him for the person he really is. Something you are absolutely unwilling and / or unable to offer to any person.

 

I would be perfectly fine accepting him for who he really is, but if I were in a relationship with any guy, I'd want him to treat me like I'm the only girl on the planet and I don't get that from him. I am basically thinking ahead of time... I have been trying to treat it as if I am already in a relationship with him because I desperately wanna be. I get jealous when he talks to other girls and he has many girls as friends. If I were with him, I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy who kept many girls as friends.

 

Also don't know what would happen 'sex' wise, but I know I have always wanted to wait. I've never been in a serious relationship with ANYONE to know what I would do, the point is, I would have to be in a serious relationship in the first place to even THINK about crossing that line.

 

My problem is literally with men in general and the way they operate. They don't think with their big heads. That can be said about a Christian, church boy as well... it's kind of disgusting, to be completely honest.

[TrueColors]

I would be perfectly fine accepting him for who he really is, but if I were in a relationship with any guy, I'd want him to treat me like I'm the only girl on the planet and I don't get that from him. I am basically thinking ahead of time... I have been trying to treat it as if I am already in a relationship with him because I desperately wanna be. I get jealous when he talks to other girls and he has many girls as friends. If I were with him, I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy who kept many girls as friends.

 

Also don't know what would happen 'sex' wise, but I know I have always wanted to wait. I've never been in a serious relationship with ANYONE to know what I would do, the point is, I would have to be in a serious relationship in the first place to even THINK about crossing that line.

 

My problem is literally with men in general and the way they operate. They don't think with their big heads. That can be said about a Christian, church boy as well... it's kind of disgusting, to be completely honest.

 

 

But the fact is, that you are not accepting him for who he is NOW.

 

You're so busy wrapped in what the future holds - one that you have absolutely NO guarantee of - that you are sacrificing your mental energy into what this guy thinks or will think of you in the future.

 

You're already at a disadvantage, because if you already hold the belief that all men are"disgusting" then how are you going to be able to trust a man that may actually want a future with you and who fits your description?

 

If one is to take the above view, then do you find your friend "disgusting"? Are you in love with a "disgusting" man? Does that make you "disgusting"?

 

Again, without speaking from experience, your judgement is based on pure fantasy and prejudice.

 

Seriously, you should be asking yourself what the hell is wrong with your thinking, nevermind anyone else's - and no this isn't a shot at "no-sex-before-marriage", it's the rest of your delusional thinking that needs putting into perspective.

[Mme. Chaucer]

In any case, you are told in the bible to refrain from being unequally yoked with unbelievers, so this guy and his behavior should have nothing to do with you, nor you with him.

 

How old are you? Why is this guy one of only 2 people you have any contact with? Are you in school, or do you have a job? Are you very active in your church? Do you do social things with the youth group within your church?

[Els]

I'm not entirely sure how someone is supposed to 'spend time trying to make an emotional connection' when he does not feel one.'

 

Really, all that needs to be said to men who complain about not managing to get FWBs, is that it is not going to be easy to get them as a man, period. They can make their own decisions based on that fact.

[LynnieBear]

In any case, you are told in the bible to refrain from being unequally yoked with unbelievers, so this guy and his behavior should have nothing to do with you, nor you with him.

 

How old are you? Why is this guy one of only 2 people you have any contact with? Are you in school, or do you have a job? Are you very active in your church? Do you do social things with the youth group within your church?

 

No, I am not in school or work and why are you assuming I'd be able to go to a youth group? I'm 24, I would have to go the college young adult group.

 

he is the only one because most of the friends I met in high school when I did spend a lot of time at church and they all ignore me now.

 

I know people from church. They are bigger "players" now than the guy I currently like. They are "band" guy, "bad boys" and these are guys I met from church and the "clique" that I hung out with in high school. yes, my church's youth group had cliques. It was no different than public school.

 

None of them talk to me.

 

The other friends that I had, are all moved on and getting married and also don't talk to me as much because they are busy.

 

So, no, I don't work currently, and I'm not in school. I also don't like church.

 

That answer your question?

[TrueColors]

So, no, I don't work currently, and I'm not in school. I also don't like church.

 

Maybe that's your problem: you need to find something constructive to do with your life other than pining after a guy who already says he does not feel the way you do and complaining about men.

[denise_xo]

Maybe that's your problem: you need to find something constructive to do with your life other than pining after a guy who already says he does not feel the way you do and complaining about men.

 

Agreed. OP, what are YOU planning to do with your situation?

[KR10N]

Even if you wait until after you're married to have sex, your man can still leave you. Anybody can up and leave at any time.

 

And if the "stupidity" on these boards in intolerable - why do you keep coming back?

I can think of two.

[LynnieBear]

I can think of two.

 

and what are those two?

 

and if anyone really wants the answer as to why I keep coming back, it's because I got banned off my favorite boards a couple years ago.

 

They were very tame boards and there were nice people there, but even they got on my case (and I posted completely differently).

 

It was a fan board with a bunch of fan girls and they seemed to hate it when I posted about wanting a boyfriend so much and would get mad at me that I actually cared about physical attraction.

 

They attacked me consistently basically and when I attacked back, they would report it to the MODs and then I'D get in trouble for defending myself.

 

I even got a message from a MOD telling me to "ignore" it when they do that and to not "respond". So even the MOD's were aware that it wasn't me starting the fights.

 

Anyway... I've tried to get back on there ever since, even blocked cookies, but it doesn't work. You can't get on the site if you block cookies.

 

It's really quite creepy.