wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) I got 2 huge breadcrumbs from my ex today. The first one was while I was working, I am not going to go too much into that but I was able to avoid it. The second one, she tricked me into eating it. And I did. I ate the entire thing. Story goes like this. Ex broke up with me 4 months ago. Tonight I was drinking came home alone, struck out a couple times at the bar so I posted a hookup ad on the infamous site to try my luck there. Well I got this response back from someone that sent me 5 pictures and I read the name and I was like ok shes real(this was from a different email address). So I responded back and then my ex EMAILS me from her email address saying "I KNEW YOU WERE FULL OF ****" What I want to mention is she broke up with me back in March and went out on a date with her coworker, so I did the same exact thing then. I am a guy, I have to break that physical dependence on one girl. Thats how I cope with breakups. Well a week later she wants to get back together and Im like fine and I quit that behavior instantly she did not believe me but that was her own problem because she doesnt even trust her self. Back to relationship mode (This was my biggest error in the world, going back to her, it beat me down physically mentally and I could not end it no matter how hard I tried or wanted to). Now, I am going to breakdown this scenario in logical terms Its been 4 months since breakup 3+ months of hardcore NC, complete facebook blockage, from all her roommates, her 37 year old bf, her. Remember I have been single for 4 months, so after I dodged the first breadcrumb today, she logs on that site and with a fake email address and fake pictures and tries to hook up with me or to bust me. Seriously? I am debating responding. Look at all the effort that went into her trying to contact me. Theres absolutely no reason why I should and I am pretty sure that's what she wants. So I am not giving her a reason to. I want to so bad. I got played big time (the email address she used to email me was kevron... lol her bf kevin her dog ron) Did not see it until afterwards. Too all you people that break NC on breadcrumbs, I will say holy **** its really hard not to. The only reason I havent is because of my butt buddy heartofaphoenix Edited September 30, 2011 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 How are you feeling right now, Wilson? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 anxious and annoyed I so want to respond lol roar!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Wilsonx think about this. This woman caused you so much emotional turmoil that at one stage you were contemplating disappearing off the face of the earth to avoid her. So you joined a dating website (is that what a hookup website is, or am I being very naive?), you are single and entitled to do what you want. She went through all this hassle to get a reaction from you. Don't give it to her. I mean she has the nerve to slag you off for joining a dating website, yet she was on the same website! I mean wtf. Dude you had a toxic relationship. I know what it is like to detangle yourself from the web of a toxic relationship. You would be crazy to put yourself in harms way. I know at times we haven't seen eye to eye in the past, but you are a good guy. You don't need to defend yourself to her, or get any validation from her. She is not worth breaking NC for (EVER! she sounds like a weapon) or setting your recovery back in anyway. Don't play her game, rise above it and continue your forward progress..Keep your class and dignity, let her wallow with the pigs in muck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Thanks for that, I needed it 2 in one day. This is what I had to deal with.... God its hard, I guess I am not as over it as I thought. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 What is on your mind right now Wilson? Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 This bubble breaker game Im playing on my new android phone... see, I was only anxious for about a 2 hourish period, Im just refocusing.. do you have an android phone? Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I just don't get it when people who dump get all ****ty when the dumpee moves on . She sounds like a self centered bitch. . Ps: I want an android phone iPhones are boring . Link to post Share on other sites
TheDovic Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 What does she expect??? She has a boyfriend but you can't date!? Strange strange behaviour... She obviously thinks very little of this other guy, maybe he's just a rebound, but she can't have her cake and eat it too. Plus Mack is right, this seems really toxic! In saying that she obviously has feelings for you, otherwise she wouldn't have went to all of this effort. But she's still only giving you breadcrumbs, and trust me, you've seen my posts, they're ridiculously difficult not to eat. What do you think you'll do? Link to post Share on other sites
SoulFinger Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Wilson..Your ex is still interested in you..otherwise she wouldn't go all out and lure you in like that.Not only that but Madam seems to like playing little mind games judging by that even though she got a boyfriend well well. Anyway mate some women are more unpredictable than the weather so there you go..I hope your android phone is more reliable than her lol. Yes, I got an android too and the games are great on there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) There is no way I am ever going back to her. A lot of you new people do not know this story. My ex is a crazy bitch. She left me for a guy 14 years older then her that she works with that lives in a trailer. She definitely dumpster dived. You want to know why I am a GIGS expert, because I got the worst of the worst. I wanted to place all the blame on the relationship on her but this is where I have learned that I need to look deep inside myself to see why I dated someone like that in the first place. There's a bunch of reasons. I was trying to be captain fix a hoe. I thought I would be that one guy that could help her and save her from her terrible life. Trust me this is why I advocate against being a caretaker. If you have a caretaker personality, you have to really really really create strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Caretakers by definition are enablers. They also have difficult times with personal boundaries. I have them now but I still have a difficult time enforcing them. I was talking to my roommate a few minutes ago and hes like you have no clue how lucky you are that you did not knock her up. You would have to deal with that crazy bitch for the rest of your life... I know she still has feelings for me, I am Sir Wilson. You cant just walk away from me and expect the grass to be greener on the otherside. OH I DODGED A BULLET... this is my personal vent thread now... I was doing great the past couple weeks and bam this happens Edited September 30, 2011 by wilsonx Link to post Share on other sites
TheDovic Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Just like John Wayne dude... Take no **** from anyone! Well played Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I was trying to be captain fix a hoe. I thought I would be that one guy that could help her and save her from her terrible life. Trust me this is why I advocate against being a caretaker. If you have a caretaker personality, you have to really really really create strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Caretakers by definition are enablers. Wilsonx I learnt the EXACT same lesson...I thought I could 'save her'. God that sounds so idiotic now. I used to cringe when I look back at who I was then and the relationship itself (bleccchhh), so I don't look back anymore! Firstly my ex never felt she needed to be 'saved'. I learnt a hard valuable lesson or two. Never enter a relationship with a woman with 'shaky' morals and lack of character.. Never go into a relationship to try 'save' someone or try change them to your way of thinking. Its completely pointless and thats how a toxic relationship starts. As soon as the honeymoon period is over, the ***** hits the fan. Thankfully I have now met a woman the complete opposite of my ex. Great morals with amazing depth of character. No 'saving' required Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 That's a really nasty, sneaky trick she pulled on you. It says nothing about you, you were well within your rights to look for what you wanted, especially after four months. Why on earth shouldn't you? If she had even the tiniest shred of decency, she'd leave you alone. No-one with any integrity would do something so underhand, mean and downright crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Goodjob Wilson. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 oh i know too well how hard is it not to gobble up those crumbs. when i first went NC back in november he would drop a few every couple of weeks and i responded to every single one until i eventually wound up breaking NC altogether. he ignored me a week later. and when i (stupidly) reached out to him he came back bragging about all the girls he'd been meeting via online dating; rubbing my nose in every last detail (and he was the dumper to boot) i came to my senses and went back to NC. and haven't heard from him since. i admit it bothered me but i now realize what geegirl has been saying is true, he really has been doing me a favor by staying away. sorry your ex did what she did. that was an incredibly immature nasty thing to do and she doesn't deserve a response from you. keep staying strong! Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) Have you considered taking this time as an opportunity to move somewhere else? Start afresh in a new town or city? Seems to me you're very upset by the breakup still. I know I am. I've learnt a lot and grown a lot as a result of my breakup. A high conflict person as your ex appears to be is going to be a monkey on your back for some time. What good has come of your breakup? Edited September 30, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Ummm...okay, just what exactly were you full of sh*t about? You're not dating her and it's none of her business who you communicate with or who you go out with! I think it's pretty pathetic that she took the time to do something like that. I mean, she has her BF now, why mess with you? I guess Ron isn't good enough? Just ignore her, one day, she'll wake up and realize that, that was WAY immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wilsonx Posted September 30, 2011 Author Share Posted September 30, 2011 Yea, I have no clue what "I knew you were full of ****" implies. I thought about it for a while and now, whatever it means, its been 3.3 months+ of hardcore NC. The fact is ummm I have made no effort to contact her but she put all this effort into contacting me hiding behind anonymity of the internet to deceive me I did a full backslide on this one. I slept maybe an hour, but i blocked both these new addresses. Betterdeal: I am not a runner, yes it bothered me. I knew my ex was a little out there, but I am more hurt that at myself for being in a relationship with someone like this. But we all make mistakes. Me moving will not fix anything. I will still have the hurt. I just have to face it until it goes away. Link to post Share on other sites
Kageytn Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I love the term captain fix a ho. I wish there was a female equivalent. Your ex does sound like a crazy bitch and devious to boot. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Yea, I have no clue what "I knew you were full of ****" implies. It means that she isn't over you, the relationship, the breakup. She's still very affected by it. She mulls everything over in her head and tries to make you out to be the bad guy so that she can shake the uneasiness and feel better about her actions. She can't shoulder the blame and is going to put it on you in any way that she can. Even though it doesn't make ANY sense since this is months after the end of your relationship. I thought about it for a while and now, whatever it means, its been 3.3 months+ of hardcore NC. The fact is ummm I have made no effort to contact her but she put all this effort into contacting me hiding behind anonymity of the internet to deceive me. She's desperate for something. Trouble in paradise? Maybe the grass isn't so green anymore with trailer park Kevin. Maybe she's looking for a branch... I did a full backslide on this one. I slept maybe an hour, but i blocked both these new addresses. You did the right thing. I am proud of you. You have a lot more strength than me. My ex messaged me a week ago to come get the rest of my things. I responded that I'd send someone by and he immediately called a mutual friend to go. I guess he didn't like the mystery of who I might send. I was tempted to look further into it, but resisted. I will never contact him, ever. But if he reached out... well, let's hope I will have made more progress. I drank half a bottle of whiskey after getting the rest of my things back and I barely slept for a couple days. You've been shaken, it will pass. Sleep will come. Betterdeal: I am not a runner, yes it bothered me. I knew my ex was a little out there, but I am more hurt that at myself for being in a relationship with someone like this. But we all make mistakes. Me moving will not fix anything. I will still have the hurt. I just have to face it until it goes away I've thought about moving, and I won't do it. I am the better person here, and people that know him and I know that... and if they don't, then I don't really care. Stand your ground and do what you want to do for you and not because of anyone else. You've got this one beat Wilson. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 (edited) Betterdeal: I am not a runner, yes it bothered me. I knew my ex was a little out there, but I am more hurt that at myself for being in a relationship with someone like this. But we all make mistakes. Me moving will not fix anything. I will still have the hurt. I just have to face it until it goes away. I get what you're saying. Been in that frame of mind myself. I don't like to think of moving in terms of what it means wrt that person and my relationship with her - that, to me, means a relationship still exists, just not a very profitable one. Now she's a possible inconvenience, to be avoided. Not at all cost, but I put some thought into it. Not say moving works for you. Just the frame of reference being slightly less about "running" and more about what you gain from staying or moving. Simple cost benefit analysis if you will. And don't be hard on yourself. Your maturation and growth have benefited from that relationship. That which does not kill us and all that. Edited September 30, 2011 by betterdeal Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 This is the first time she's contacted you in over 3 months? Or the first time you've responded? I can only guess the "I knew you were..." was if you said you didn't want her to leave in the beginning and seeing you on this site was proof to herself that she was right. Why on earth anyone would go through that kind of trouble to say "gotcha" says they have nothing going on in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 I hope Wilson is taking a nap right now Link to post Share on other sites
danceallday Posted September 30, 2011 Share Posted September 30, 2011 Sorry to hear you had to put up with the crap WilsonX. She went through a lot of trouble just to find you on the site and then basically did an entrapment number on you and then goes after you verbally? After she broke up with you months ago? Give me a break. Link to post Share on other sites
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