mrspeak Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I've been through a difficult divorce several years ago and recently got remarried about 2 yrs ago. My husband has 2 kids living with us and I see my kids on weekends. I thought because I love my husband immensely (we are soulmates) that love would make my life easier. It hasn't. My husband and I have amazing sex, we are best friends, but find we are constantly fighting over stupid things. I see things one way, he sees them very different. And because he pays most of the bills, I have to give in to his wishes. I do that on a regular basis. I feel somewhat bitter that I'm always having to give in to his wishes. Especially when it comes to his kids, I have no say. The bitterness comes out when we fight and we've had some bad fights. I tried to go to counseling but he wasn't interested in going and blames me for our fights. I love him dearly, and want this to work more than anything. It seems everything boils down to communication and power. He seems to hold most of the power. Fighting that is impossible, it's much easier to give in. It even extends to seeing my own children on weekends, we fight about that too. He is ready to end our relationship if the fights don't improve and I am not sure if I should keep giving in or just give up. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Why does he pay most of the bills? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mrspeak Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) aBecause when we got together I made an agreement with him that he would pay the bills so I could go back to school. I'm finishing up an associate's degree and am currently looking for a job. It was a decision I felt was important for my career but it seems to not have been the right decision. Also making things somewhat more difficult, he has this female work friend who I don't know but who is his friend who he vents to (telling her our problems). He assures me they are just platonic friends but they talk and text alot. I can't pressure him too much about it though because of the situation we are in, and because he closes up when I ask about it. The unknown aspect worries me in addition to all the fights we've had. Edited October 1, 2011 by mrspeak Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Despite what you've agreed things have changed and it doesn't seem to be a very equitable situation anymore. He may feel that he can take advantage of your powerless situation and you feel powerless because it seems that he's in control. If possible, perhaps it's worth trying to find a part-time job until you finish your degree so that you are contributing a bit more to the household pot and have a buffer for yourself if you need it in case he pulls his support. Since you are married, I think that you have every right to talk about what's going on with the female friend. If anything, I don't think it's fair that he's confiding her rather than talking to you. It sounds like a slippery slope towards a potential EA, in my opinion. Hopefully, you don't have long to go until you finish your degree and once you are working full-time, things will likely change. Link to post Share on other sites
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