aerogurl87 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 The red flags are blaring now. I don't want to be intimate with my boyfriend anymore and although he claims it's just my birth control, lately my intuition has been on high alert that something is amiss. He keeps coming home late, claiming it's cause of his job (he does work long hours) but I know how long his route home takes and when a 40 minute drive takes 2 hours, something ain't right. Not to mention he's met two girls that he met off the net in person during our relationship. The first time happened when we were broken up but trying to get back together and he told me he didn't want to be with anyone else, hadn't met any other girls, blah blah blah. Only for me to find out 5 months later (after I moved over 2,000 miles to live with him!) that he indeed was interested in meeting other girls. I brushed that off though since we weren't technically together, but then about a month or so ago I find out that he's done it again, claiming the meet was just platonic. I'm really hoping I'm just overreacting to everything, but something just ain't feeling right. Link to post Share on other sites
Rita86 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Always trust your gut. But apart from him taking 2hrs to get home from work, what else have you noticed? Link to post Share on other sites
andybermudez7 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 what's ya'lls status. sounds like youre in an on again off again...esp in this case guys sometimes keep feelers out even for just "girl friend" stuff. I know this sounds weird, but it just is. girls do this too. sounds like a talk is in order but don't jump to conclusions or judge. explore mutual boundaries and let him talk. you won't "figure it out" one way or another overnight :-) sounds like you've had a bit of a complicated relationship to begin with so keep it in context. good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Kinder-Horror Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Why would you rationalize this as overreacting? Based on his track record, it sounds like you are reacting at the exact level you should be. Like the other poster said, ALWAYS trust your gut. There is a reason you feel that something isn't right. Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Always trust your gut. But apart from him taking 2hrs to get home from work, what else have you noticed? Not much to be honest. I confronted him about the stinging home late and he says it was cause he was coming from a farther distance this time, that's why he was late, but I don't minor if I believe it. He also says the girls thing was a mistake and he did it cause at the time he saw nothing wrong with it. I'm getting tested soon though, cause the last two times we did have sex it kinda burned down there and that had NEVER happened to me before. Just allot of red flags going off. Link to post Share on other sites
Rita86 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 It's good that you're getting tested. Hopefully you'll be ok! With all these red flags do you want to stay in the relationship? And if it turned out he is/was cheating do you think you could work through that? I know you just relocated to be near him but do you have close friends/ family nearby? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) You had doubts about moving there to be with him. And that is the short, polite version of the mess that your relationship was at the time. You recently posted that you aren't in love with him and you are going to leave. You think he's cheating on you now. He's displayed controlling behaviour and doesn't listen to you, eg telling you that your moods are being controlled by your birth control and brushing off your feelings. Not to mention all the crazy crap he came up with when you broke up with him for that short period before you moved there. Why are you still there living with him? Not to mention even having sex with him still. Move back home to where you belong and stop wasting your time and his on this relationship. I have been where you are, not loving someone but staying with them because I didn't have the guts to pack up my stuff and leave the person that was never going to make me happy. But, now you think your health is even in danger, you don't have the luxury of time that I did. Pack up your belongings, go home and get the hell away from this disaster. Nothing has or will change and you know it. Edited October 1, 2011 by Citizen Erased Link to post Share on other sites
Author aerogurl87 Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 You had doubts about moving there to be with him. And that is the short, polite version of the mess that your relationship was at the time. You recently posted that you aren't in love with him and you are going to leave. You think he's cheating on you now. He's displayed controlling behaviour and doesn't listen to you, eg telling you that your moods are being controlled by your birth control and brushing off your feelings. Not to mention all the crazy crap he came up with when you broke up with him for that short period before you moved there. Why are you still there living with him? Not to mention even having sex with him still. Move back home to where you belong and stop wasting your time and his on this relationship. I have been where you are, not loving someone but staying with them because I didn't have the guts to pack up my stuff and leave the person that was never going to make me happy. But, now you think your health is even in danger, you don't have the luxury of time that I did. Pack up your belongings, go home and get the hell away from this disaster. Nothing has or will change and you know it. CE you are right, but it's hard. For one he says he won't stop me from leaving, but every time I mention I will he will either start being really nice and treating me great, or guilt trip me by telling me how miserable he will be without me. And he knows I really don't want to hurt him. I do love him too, but I don't know if I'm in love with him. Sometimes I see glimpses of a great relationship that could be and other times I just want out. I'm also afraid of the unknown I think. I gave up my life for this guy and I really don't want to feel like the past 6 months were in vain, even if I did give everything my best try. I just don't like the fact that my gut is telling me that something is terribly wrong now. Link to post Share on other sites
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