diablodude64 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 My girlfriend sometimes tells me she wishes that she felt the way she did before referring back to a year ago in our relationship. The thing is, I do too, but the reason we don't is because we don't do things that we did before. Mainly because she doesn't want to, and if I say that it's still my fault and I don't get it because she says that I am different. We all probably say the same thing, but I haven't changed, it's her. Does anyone have any thoughts or comments on this? Link to post Share on other sites
tradewinds Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 When you first start dating everything is new and exciting. You have both changed. In fact, if you have not, how much fun would that be (doing the same old things)! Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 My girlfriend sometimes tells me she wishes that she felt the way she did before referring back to a year ago in our relationship. The thing is, I do too, but the reason we don't is because we don't do things that we did before. Mainly because she doesn't want to, and if I say that it's still my fault and I don't get it because she says that I am different. We all probably say the same thing, but I haven't changed, it's her. Does anyone have any thoughts or comments on this? Yes, I had this issue with my boyfriend of 8 years. He unfortunately broke up with me because he didn't feel the same as he did when we first met. He couldn't understand that relationships change over time. He was expecting the exciting, giddy feelings of infatuation to last forever. When he realized those feeling weren't coming back, he bailed. He was a fool. What is your gf referring to? The exciting "new" feelings of your relationship when it first started out or the fact that you guys don't do the same things anymore and she's bored? Link to post Share on other sites
Author diablodude64 Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 I don't know but she is way to serious about it, and the thing is, it's one thing to be sad for the second you think about it but she kind of passes it off onto me as if I am supposed to actually do something or even know what to do with that and all at the same time, she doesn't do certain things either but that's life and I know it. Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I don't know but she is way to serious about it, and the thing is, it's one thing to be sad for the second you think about it but she kind of passes it off onto me as if I am supposed to actually do something or even know what to do with that and all at the same time, she doesn't do certain things either but that's life and I know it. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Her passing it off to you and/or blaming you isn't right. You need to sit down with her and talk about your relationship and what the TWO OF YOU can do to make it better. If not, it's doomed. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Try learning something new together, like dancing, skiing, cooking, pottery. Relationships get stale because people get lazy. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) Try learning something new together, like dancing, skiing, cooking, pottery. hahaha, yeah right. "wahhh i'm bored, pay for me to do stuff that i want to do or i'll complain more". here's a novel idea, how about she puts some effort into their relationship and buys him football tickets or something? oh wait, that would NEVER happen. OP, let this one go. she'll make someone a fine ex wife, don't make her your ex wife. after all, if the roles were reversed, that's EXACTLY what all you women would tell her to do. you wouldn't suggest that she go buy him stuff he wants if he were the one unhappy with her. you'd all be in full blown pedestal mode telling her that she was god's gift to everything possessing of a vagina and should leave him yesterday. Edited October 1, 2011 by thatone Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 hahaha, yeah right. "wahhh i'm bored, pay for me to do stuff that i want to do or i'll complain more". here's a novel idea, how about she puts some effort into their relationship and buys him football tickets or something? oh wait, that would NEVER happen. OP, let this one go. she'll make someone a fine ex wife, don't make her your ex wife. after all, if the roles were reversed, that's EXACTLY what all you women would tell her to do. you wouldn't suggest that she go buy him stuff he wants if he were the one unhappy with her. you'd all be in full blown pedestal mode telling her that she was god's gift to everything possessing of a vagina and should leave him yesterday. Jeez are we a bit bitter? Who said anything about buying the girl stuff? Fitchick suggested they try new activities together to liven the relationship. I think that's a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) not bitter at all, i was actually laughing as i read what she posted. i'm simply stating an absolute fact. the OP's gf will decide at some point that she wants a wedding, so she'll get one from some poor bastard, then she'll be cheating on him in a year or two and she'll initiate a divorce. as for fitchick, she doesn't even read the stuff she's replying to, she just posts what makes herself feel happy. Edited October 1, 2011 by thatone Link to post Share on other sites
ShannonMI Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 not bitter at all, i was actually laughing as i read what she posted. i'm simply stating an absolute fact. the OP's gf will decide at some point that she wants a wedding, so she'll get one from some poor bastard, then she'll be cheating on him in a year or two and she'll initiate a divorce. as for fitchick, she doesn't even read the stuff she's replying to, she just posts what makes herself feel happy. You got beef with Fitchick? I think her reply is a good one. If they can't spice up the relationship then it's time to move on. I don't think they are even talking about marriage at this point. The girl doesn't feel the same about him, so why would she want to marry him? Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I'd say before any serious sit down talks, that you should try wooing her a little bit. Someone has to take the first step and since she isn't right now, perhaps it hsould be you for the time being. Do something you know she would like. Make a date and treat her special. Gauge how into it she is. If she still isn't that into it, then it's time for a talk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author diablodude64 Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 We see each other everyday and we get along great. More then anything it confuses me because we can be laughing one minute and all of a sudden she'll say something like that. In my case I do agree with what thatone was saying because I have always been the one flipping the bill, and until recently, she has never had to pay for the things we did or even offered. Granted she has bought me gifts and stuff but I along with the other things, have done the same. If the shoe fits where it, but I feel like in a relationship, especially my own, my money is "our" money and her money is her money. Pardon me, but I thought the point of a relationship among other things, was companion ship and the ability to know you can and do help each other out. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 You got beef with Fitchick? I think her reply is a good one. If they can't spice up the relationship then it's time to move on. I don't think they are even talking about marriage at this point. The girl doesn't feel the same about him, so why would she want to marry him? yeah, because right before i posted that reply i noticed her replying to another thread with a cliche straight out of left field and she obviously had not even read what the OP had to say in that thread either. something i learned a long time ago that is good advice for any and all of us... "when your words are pointless, shut up". Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) We see each other everyday and we get along great. More then anything it confuses me because we can be laughing one minute and all of a sudden she'll say something like that. In my case I do agree with what thatone was saying because I have always been the one flipping the bill, and until recently, she has never had to pay for the things we did or even offered. Granted she has bought me gifts and stuff but I along with the other things, have done the same. If the shoe fits where it, but I feel like in a relationship, especially my own, my money is "our" money and her money is her money. Pardon me, but I thought the point of a relationship among other things, was companion ship and the ability to know you can and do help each other out. there is no way to accomplish what you want without telling her all of these things, and making demands of your own. as with anything else, all you can do is what you have to do, and observe how she reacts. You got beef with Fitchick? I think her reply is a good one. If they can't spice up the relationship then it's time to move on. I don't think they are even talking about marriage at this point. The girl doesn't feel the same about him, so why would she want to marry him? yeah, because right before i posted that reply i noticed her replying to another thread with a cliche straight out of left field and she obviously had not even read what the OP had to say in that thread either. something i learned a long time ago that is good advice for any and all of us... "when your words are pointless, shut up". i didn't say the OP's gf would want to marry him, i said she'll decide that she wants a wedding, so she will ruin some other guy when she decides she needs to be in a wedding, and then gets bored shortly thereafter and destroys the resulting marriage. Edited October 2, 2011 by thatone Link to post Share on other sites
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