confused21 Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 I'm 24, and my best guy friend is 25, we've been friends for over 2 years since we started working together and we've been FWB for 8 months. He just left our job and I'm going crazy not being able to see him at least at work when I didnt see him on the weekend. I've always saw him 3 days a week at work. I'm just having the hardest time dealing with the fact that I have no idea when I'm gonna get to see him again. He's such a big part of my life and I'm trying not to "freak" out on him b/c I dont handle these changes well and anytime in the past when I shared my feelings it never went well and it always started a fight with us. So I'm at a loss on how to deal with this. I'm rather impatient and never really was good at letting things be and see how they end up. Any advice on how to deal with this? I want to say something to him but I dont want to start a fight. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted May 14, 2004 Moderators Share Posted May 14, 2004 I think you need to evalutate just how much you really do feel for this guy friend of yours. Not trying to affix innacurate emotions on this whole thing, but it sounds like you may have actual ... umm ... "love?" for this FWB? I'm just wondering confused ... sounds way more than good friends to the casual observer? Curt Link to post Share on other sites
KittyKatz Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 I was in the exact same position as you. Became f*ck buddies with my best guy friend from work. It was a fabulous arrangement when I knew I would be seeing him every week. Then he quit the job and all of my insecurities came to the surface - the next time we slept together (I initiated, of course) I didn't hear from him for a month afterwards. The job was the only thing keeping him in regular contact with me. It broke my heart to realise that for him, it was just a convenient relationship. Once I was no longer in dick's reach he couldn't be bothered. It sucks that there are so many guys out there just after a piece of ass. Unfortunately for us girls, having sex usually means something emotionally - I certainly would never have slept with him unless I had a bond to begin with. I found out the hard way that this bond is not necessarily mutual. My advice is to try and retain your self respect - do not chase him, it will just push him further away. If you really need to say something, plan ahead and don't blurt out what's on your mind (I got drunk and left a voice mail saying I was in love with him. Unsurprisingly I never heard from him again). Be cool, maybe just allude to your next possible meeting. Good luck, keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused21 Posted May 14, 2004 Author Share Posted May 14, 2004 I know I care for him deeply, he's always on my mind. I'm miserable when I havent seen him or I havent talked to him in days. We've definitly passed the just friends stage but I dont know what we are exactly. One night months ago he stopped when we were fooling around and made some comment not really understanding what we are and that I need a guy who is around more for me. We're just not typical friends. Link to post Share on other sites
KittyKatz Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Believe me sister, I have been there! I thought about this guy 24/7. I could not eat, could not sleep... I have always been an independant, happy go lucky girl but changed overnight with the worry of not having him in my life. I wanted to have a conversation with him about the relationship, find out where he stood, and try to work out whether he felt even a tiny bit like I did. It seemed impossible that i could be in love with someone who saw me as nothing more than a f*ck buddy. Eventually I realised thatI deserved more than this, no matter how amazing I thought he was. But it took a good 6 months to come to my senses. I hope things work out better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused21 Posted May 14, 2004 Author Share Posted May 14, 2004 KittyKatz- Thanks for your reply. I've felt all along that our friendship was more then good friends who work together. The last couple months I've barely seen him outside of work so seeing him at work at least stopped me from going crazy but now i dont have that anymore :0( Well I guess I will soon find out how long he really will go w/o seeing me at all. I'm trying my hardest to just let him settle into his new job and his new schedule and not tell him to please not disappear on me and I hate the fact that I have no idea when I'm gonna see him again. Right now I havent seen him in 8 days and its driving me crazy :0( Link to post Share on other sites
Author confused21 Posted May 17, 2004 Author Share Posted May 17, 2004 Ok to futhur complicate things.. its a long story but at one point we were considering getting a 2 bedroom apartment together. He brought it up again tonight but he said he was hesistant about it b/c he thinks it would be akward or uncomfortable for both of us if either of us brought home a member of the opposite sex. Why would he think its akward for me to see him with another girl and furthurmore why would it be akward for him if I brought a guy home? is he saying a lot by saying not much at all? lol Am I wrong for wanting him to furthur explain this statement of his? Link to post Share on other sites
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