Around what age do the awkward men become more desirable?

[Floridaman]

I appreciate the advice, but random women I see out and about, don't interest me. It doesn't matter how hot she is.

SomeDude,

You HAVE to consider women you see in public.

Am not talking about "hot" women. Just regular women, the kind that may more likely accept your invitations.

 

Could be in a class, in a professional function (networking meeting, not necessarily at work, could be uncomfortable there), in church, in a singles group, at a restaurant, at a friend's house (one brings a sister or friend),etc.

 

You don't want to limit your options.

 

The first real relationship I had at 26 -- I met this 30 y.o. in a church Sunday school singles class.

She looked fine and so I was interested in her.

May have seen her a time or two there and at the functions, but quickly decided I needed to ask her out (before some other guy did).

 

That lasted 6 mos. She would bring up us "getting engaged," so let my guard down and made so many mistakes before she dumped me. Another story entirely, but wouldn't have had that relationship unless I had summoned courage to ask her out.

 

I'd look at her, think to myself, "Damn she is gorgeous," maybe stare a little, then be on my way. I wouldn't have any desire to do anything more.

It's good to have such thoughts. But if a woman interests you, make yourself available to talk with her.

She may notice your attention. Women like attention, so I read.

Ask her why she's there, what she likes about the place she's at.

Focus the conversation on her.

As for the signals thing, I don't think I've ever asked out a woman I was getting signals from. That's probably why I've been rejected so much.

Signals aren't so important, IMHO, when you first see a woman.

That woman I saw in the chairs between classes, I don't think she noticed me, so there were no "signals."

I saw her and she looked like an attractive woman that I thought I could take a chance on.

 

So I moved closer to her and introduced myself. Asked her if I could sit next to her. Then started into conversation.

I basically have everything in place to be in a relationship, I just need a girl to say "yes."

That's why you need to approach women.

 

It won't always work, and many may well say no.

But like getting a job, it only takes one yes.

 

 

That "list" of women I went out with on dates from teenage years to 30, when I met my future wife, that didn't include women who said no.

Would likely be a higher number, but don't want to have unproductive thoughts.

Edited October 7, 2011 by Floridaman

[somedude81]

SomeDude,

You HAVE to consider women you see in public.

Am not talking about "hot" women. Just regular women, the kind that may more likely accept your invitations.

 

Could be in a class, in a professional function (networking meeting, not necessarily at work, could be uncomfortable there), in church, in a singles group, at a restaurant, at a friend's house (one brings a sister or friend),etc.

Now you're mixing things together.

 

Nexus was talking about cold approaching women. That basically means walking down the street, seeing a woman then walking over to her and asking her out. Meeting girls at a restaurant/bar or at the mall also falls under this category.

 

That's completely different from asking out girls you meet in class, church, business functions, friends of friends etc. Those are basically warm approaches. When mingling is expected and you have a reason to talk to a woman beyond, "I want to bone you."

 

When I see girls that may interest me in those situations, I do talk to them and ask them out. And those are the ones that have been rejecting me.

Edited October 7, 2011 by somedude81

[Floridaman]

Now you're mixing things together.

 

Nexus was talking about cold approaching women. That basically means walking down the street, seeing a woman then walking over to her and asking her out. Meeting girls at a restaurant/bar or at the mall also falls under this category.

Methinks you're arguing semantics here.

 

There's nothing wrong with making those kind of cold-calls, the ones you say Nexus advises.

It would take some nerve to ask ANY girl out you meet on the street and am not so sure I'd have done that.

 

Wouldn't recommend asking them out right off the top. Get into conversation first, see if there's interest, then go for the invitation.

 

If I am next to a woman waiting for a train or in line for drivers license renewal, I might strike up a conversation and see where it goes.

There's nothing wrong with that.

That's completely different from asking out girls you meet in class, church, business functions, friends of friends etc. Those are basically warm approaches. When mingling is expected and you have a reason to talk to a woman beyond, "I want to bone you."

Still, it is "cold calling" if it's someone you just met, even at one of the aforementioned venues.

It still takes nerve.

 

When I see girls that may interest me in those situations, I do talk to them and ask them out. And those are the ones that have been rejecting me.

Good. Keep doing that.

Just get better at it and try try try. If you fail, repeat, repeat, repeat.

[AHardDaysNight]

Dude, I'm not physically attractive to women, either, and I don't have any game. But at least you have girls showing interest in you...even if you're not interested in them!

[somedude81]

Still, it is "cold calling" if it's someone you just met, even at one of the aforementioned venues.

It still takes nerve.

I usually don't do it on the first time we meet. Preferably I'd want to talk to a woman on a couple of occasions before I ask her out. The exception is when I'm able to talk to her for an extended period of time.

Good. Keep doing that.

Just get better at it and try try try. If you fail, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Thanks for the motivation. Can I send my therapy bills to you?

Dude, I'm not physically attractive to women, either, and I don't have any game. But at least you have girls showing interest in you...even if you're not interested in them!

Again you say that.

 

What girls are interested in me? Where have I said that?

[AHardDaysNight]

 

Again you say that.

 

What girls are interested in me? Where have I said that?

 

In my life I have known of three girls that liked me. All three were below my physical standards. One I rejected because she had too many issues, one girl I screwed up with by saying something stupid and she lost interest, the other I "dated" for two week then she left.

 

^ Read the above. This is what I was commenting on.

[somedude81]

^ Read the above. This is what I was commenting on.

Seriously you're basing it on that?

 

Three obese girls have liked me. Nobody has liked me in at least 5 years.

 

If you're jealous of that, then I feel sorry for you.

[somedude81]

Guys like that generally marry bottom of the barrel women (unattractive, aging and often with children...basically, the women no one else desires), if at all. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but that's the truth.

It's what I expected.

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Feelsgoodman

 

Guys like that generally marry bottom of the barrel women (unattractive, aging and often with children...basically, the women no one else desires), if at all. Sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear, but that's the truth.

It's what I expected.

Why think that way?

There's no evidence to suggest that will happen.

You're close to 30. You might meet your woman soon. I met mine at 30.

Originally Posted by Floridaman

 

Still, it is "cold calling" if it's someone you just met, even at one of the aforementioned venues.

It still takes nerve.

I usually don't do it on the first time we meet. Preferably I'd want to talk to a woman on a couple of occasions before I ask her out. The exception is when I'm able to talk to her for an extended period of time.

That's fine, but you may get farther if you ask some of them out sooner.

Everything I've read on these boards says you need to express your interest in a woman soon after meeting, otherwise she may "friendzone" you.

Time is of essence here.

Try to be more forward in the invitations.

 

Originally Posted by Floridaman

Good. Keep doing that.

Just get better at it and try try try. If you fail, repeat, repeat, repeat.

Thanks for the motivation. Can I send my therapy bills to you?

No need to get snarky here.

You get knocked down, stand back up. Stiff upper lip.

Sooner or later, you'll meet a woman that shows interest.

[Nexus One]

SD, deep in your heart you know that the answers you're giving are excuses. The real struggle you're having is not with women, it's with yourself. But you don't like to hear that, because that forces you out of your mental comfort zone. You feel safe and secure when you believe it's all the fault of women, because that makes you the passive participant to whom injustice is done, rather than the active participant that can take matters into his own hands.

 

Life is ticking away with every second. You're not getting any younger and the age difference between you and those girls in their early 20's you want is growing.

 

We both are almost the same age, you're 30 and I'm 29. I don't know about you, but I'm in a real f*cking hurry.

[Floridaman]

These guys can save-up money and later spend it on having sex with beautiful women. Juan Belmonte, at the age of 62(or close to it) was told by his doctors that he would never be able of having sex due to lifelong injuries. What did he do?

 

Rented the services of a handful of hot prostitutes, bought his favorite drink and spent the remaining of his money on his favorite cigars, which he had been forbidden to do by his doctors.

 

After a long night of much fcking, much drinking and much smoking, he picked his gun and shot himself to death.

 

Sure beats ending up like one of those poor fools who marry because they think they'll have sex.

You think someone shooting himself, taking the coward's way out of life, is good... You're messed-up.

 

Not gonna read your subject's situation, but someone who kills himself leaves others in grief. Everyone's life touches other lifes.

 

Oh... forgot. It's society's or some religion's fault. We all should go back to the Adonises of the Greeks....

Edited October 8, 2011 by Floridaman

[AHardDaysNight]

Wait? You think SHOOTING YOURSELF/SUICIDE is better than being a virgin?!?!?!?!

 

 

I'd say you have some serious mental issues, bro. If you are who you say you are, and you've gone to bed with 10's, they must be some of the most insecure and self hateful women in this world, to be associated with slime like you. You disgust me, and I hope you get banned soon.

[AHardDaysNight]

And before someone reports me for a personal attack, I had a lot worse things to say to him. Most involving four letter words.

 

Be thankful I kept my restraint.

 

I lost a good friend in high school to suicide, man. You just seriously pissed me off.

[somedude81]

You guys didn't even read what the wrote. Look at the Wiki page for more detail.

 

The man was baiscally told that he was never going to be able "smoke cigars, ride his horses, drink wine or perform sexual acts with women" again.

 

So he had one last day of doing what he loved and then killed himself because he felt that from then on, live wasn't worth living. He was also 69 years old.

 

That's been kind of my belief for a while, if one can't do what they love, then why live?

[Floridaman]

Is this what you guys want? Look at Jim Morrison. He fckd a lot, drank a lot, was high a lot, and though he died so young, he lived far more than all of you will live.

Jim Morrison?

That's your shining example?

 

Oh, he was talented and made good music, but no one would say they wished they'd lived like that "bad boy.."

No one ever says they wish they'd lived like a Hell Raiser and f**ked all the women they could, thinking only of themselves and their pleasure?

 

Like Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys? Never met a woman he wouldn't nail?

 

Or Ray Charles. A great singer but look what his f**king is female vocalists did to his wife and family....

Never hear anyone say they'd love to have lived the life of The (in music only) Genius.

 

Jimmy Ruffin, the lead singer of The Temptations' early hits ("My Girl"). Was rude and abusive to his fellow singers, abused Tammy Terrell (who Marvin Gaye later dated) and ended up gunned-down on the streets of Motor City.

 

but someone who kills himself leaves others in grief. Everyone's life touches other lifes.

 

Hardened men, real men, think about themselves first and then they think about others. How many flower boys are known to mankind and admired, and how many egoistical, self-centered narcissists were loved and lusted after by women and admired by men?

"Real men" are selfish pricks?

Getting drunk, abusing drugs, sleeping with anything that has legs ??

 

You've never watched It's a Wonderful Life with Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed?

Frank Capra was a genius movie director, like Hitchcock.

Every life touches another. No man is an island.

Jimmy Stewart's character was about to kill himself when an angel intervened and showed him through the film what would have happened to his family had he not lived...

[Nexus One]

That's been kind of my belief for a while, if one can't do what they love, then why live?

 

You can do what you want. Your mind has just twisted itself in a knot thinking you can't.

 

That being said, are you saying you're contemplating suicide? Or did you mean that question in a more general sense?

[Floridaman]

Reposting to make sure no one confuses my posts with Elysian's:

Hardened men, real men, think about themselves first and then they think about others. How many flower boys are known to mankind and admired, and how many egoistical, self-centered narcissists were loved and lusted after by women and admired by men?

ME:

"Real men" are selfish pricks?

Getting drunk, abusing drugs, sleeping with anything that has legs ??

 

Steve Jobs had a terminal illness.

Should HE have put a gun to his head ????

 

You don't get it. You're in you 50's? The young men you're addressing are virgins or very close to it. Maybe a man in his 50's is not assailed by the massive hormonal surges young men are, but these guys are witnessing hot, young women being fckd from left to right in this glorious sexual utopia and they want a piece of the action. What's wrong with that? They should wait for the right woman to come along? What is that? A woman who ain't, herself, that good-looking, or a woman who sees the sexually frustrated men as the easy targets for marital fraud?

 

You want them to believe that it gets easier? I've met guys who aren't attractive(but not ugly or short or fat) and they assimilated their father's advice to wait for the right woman. Most of them never had any sex past the baiting phase and now they're stuck paying child-support and no alimony, again they are sexually frustrated with the bonus of craving for the fruit that now elopes from their grasp.

I know exactly what they're going through.

Wasn't great with women either, and longed for sex and love too as I lived like a semi-virgin through all of my 20s....

 

Someone who encourages others to put a gun to their head doesn't seem fit to advise others on anything.

[AHardDaysNight]

I greatly admire Kurt Cobain, but I wouldn't want to have been in his shoes. Dude was miserable, though was a genius.

 

Same with Jimi Hendrix. Think he was a genius, I have everything he's ever released. And I'm sure he was not short of the ladies. He still ended up dying before his time.

 

Suicide is an act of cowardliness. It takes a true survivor to say, "hey, maybe my life isn't going the way it should, but it's bound to get better, right?" And to keep on going.

 

I may not be a model, I may not have the [alleged] looks that EP has, but that doesn't mean that I should give up. I've been there, through two suicide attempts, and I want to live. If a girl comes along and wants to share my life, that's great. If not, I'll ride life solo. I have too much talent, and life, to waste worrying about what some dude on an internet forum thinks of me...or whether or not I'm going to get laid tomorrow.

[Floridaman]

You guys didn't even read what the wrote. Look at the Wiki page for more detail.

 

The man was baiscally told that he was never going to be able "smoke cigars, ride his horses, drink wine or perform sexual acts with women" again.

 

So he had one last day of doing what he loved and then killed himself because he felt that from then on, live wasn't worth living. He was also 69 years old.

 

That's been kind of my belief for a while, if one can't do what they love, then why live?

SomeDude,

Doctors can err and some who were told they were going to die actually lived longer than the experts predicted.

Same with mothers who were told their unborn baby would be born retarded or handicapped, yet trhe child later lived normal lifes and became big successes in life.

 

Repeating what I posted earlier:

 

Steve Jobs had a terminal illness.

Should HE have put a gun to his head ????

[AHardDaysNight]

And of course it would have nothing to do with him being a rockstar, right? /end sarcasm

 

Look, even Drew Carey has a beautiful wife. And he got married to her when he was fat, and unattractive. He's now average looking, but he was way below average looking when they got together...and she's freaking gorgeous.

 

Ever see a picture of that midget and cute blonde couple? Mini Me? Have nothing to do with money, right?

 

Hey, I think Nightwish is cool, and that dude is cool. I prefer Dream Theater, and many of those guys have similar looks. It's the heavy metal look, and it attracts many women.

 

But we're not talking about celebrities. We're talking about normal, average people. And if most men who aren't rockstars are average looking, then are they ALL rich?

 

Didn't think so.

[Floridaman]

edited out

[somedude81]

You can do what you want. Your mind has just twisted itself in a knot thinking you can't.

 

That being said, are you saying you're contemplating suicide? Or did you mean that question in a more general sense?

I'm not going to derail the thread.

SomeDude,

Doctors can err and some who were told they were going to die actually lived longer than the experts predicted.

Same with mothers who were told their unborn baby would be born retarded or handicapped, yet trhe child later lived normal lifes and became big successes in life.

 

Repeating what I posted earlier:

 

Steve Jobs had a terminal illness.

Should HE have put a gun to his head ????

None of my post addressed somebody being told they are going to die. It was about having to live a crippled life.

[Floridaman]

Hardened men, real men, think about themselves first and then they think about others. How many flower boys are known to mankind and admired, and how many egoistical, self-centered narcissists were loved and lusted after by women and admired by men?

Utter garbage.

Real men don't cheat on their spouses, abandon their children to go for some younger sexpot, do drugs, screw as many women as possible.

[AHardDaysNight]

The guy who stormed Rome years ago was in a different generation.

 

This is a Techi-generation, as one of my favorite Crack The Sky songs goes. We are literally living behind the curtains of nerds and geeks. That boss who is making all those billions of dollars? He's probably a nerd.

 

I don't want to give away too much personal information, but I'm studying computer programming and IT. That's where all the money is now. Everyone became a web designer because the internet was taking over...now there's no money in it. However, fixing someone's computer and figuring out how to build one...that's where all the money is.

 

That is, unless you're a hotshot lawyer, a corporate executive, or a politician. Needless, it still involves a lot of geeks, who sit behind computers and at desks all day, pushing papers.

[AHardDaysNight]

Oh, and did I mention doctors and scientists? They're probably nerds, too.

 

In fact, unless you win the billion dollar sweepstakes, I can't see a lucrative job that is high paying and makes you wealthy, that doesn't involve a great deal of brain power.