Around what age do the awkward men become more desirable?

[Queen Zenobia]

Somedude, I'm not going to read what everyone else has said so far and just respond to my 'gut' feeling about you.

 

I think you chase women who aren't into you because, deep down, you really don't want to settle down. Real intimacy scares the crap out of you, and so you keep going after the ones who don't want you.

 

Could be wrong though.

 

My gut feeling is that he goes for girls he thinks he can get rather than the ones he's 100% interested in.

[Floridaman]

Unless you're satisfied with your celibacy. Listen to what men say. Forget about the emotional thoughts of the men who've only slept with a couple of women and are trying to, with personal stories, that there's a soulmate for everyone . Christian fantasy, nothing more .

What in Hades are you talking about?

This is the second time you've brought up religion. You have something against Christians?

[Monm82]

I think most average guys have to take what they can get. They don't have a zillion options like most women.

[ThsAmericanLife]

And the sex might be pretty good.

 

Key word is 'deep' (in my prior post)

 

[AHardDaysNight]

LOL. I am an American. Epic fail.

 

And I said that British women AND American women were my top picks. Can you not even read?

 

Irregardless, this will be my final post here. I'm tired of this troll being respected, while I, someone who genuinely cares about the well being of others on here (not to mention other great posters, like FloridaMan), are mistreated and abused.

 

This is not a nice forum. This is an angry and bitter forum.

 

Goodbye.

[ThsAmericanLife]

LOL. I am an American. Epic fail.

 

And I said that British women AND American women were my top picks. Can you not even read?

 

Irregardless, this will be my final post here. I'm tired of this troll being respected, while I, someone who genuinely cares about the well being of others on here (not to mention other great posters, like FloridaMan), are mistreated and abused.

 

This is not a nice forum. This is an angry and bitter forum.

 

Goodbye.

 

Lots of 'trolls' are respected here. Or seemingly so.

 

Like road kill. We can't help but look.

 

Don't take it personally. I agree that LS is not a nice forum. I have my days when I think 'why bother'.

 

Take a break. See you in a while... K??

[DripWilson]

I've done my best connecting when I wasn't really trying to. 99.9 percent of the peopl you meet are NOT going to be your soulmate or even a fling. I tend to treat women like they are that 99.9 percent, it takes off the pressure to seduce, I'm friendly and act like myself. Every now and then you'll start noticing someone is interested in you, but you've already started the connecting when you thought she was just another person.

[Floridaman]

Yep, I think this is pretty much accurate. I've known guys who struggled to get girlfriends, and women finally became interested when they lost a bit of weight, bought new clothes and started to dress better, started to smile and socialize with people more, and became a little more confident. They still weren't God's gift to women, and weren't totally cocky and confident, but they improved themselves enough to get out of that "totally undesirable" zone.

"Awkwardness" or shyness -- or the inability to do well in dating -- doesn't always have to do with weight, the clothes they wear, at least not in my case.

Wasn't ever overweight and while I never really paid attention to the way I dressed, can't imagine dressing poorly...

[betterdeal]

Somedude, I'm not going to read what everyone else has said so far and just respond to my 'gut' feeling about you.

 

I think you chase women who aren't into you because, deep down, you really don't want to settle down. Real intimacy scares the crap out of you, and so you keep going after the ones who don't want you.

 

Could be wrong though.

 

I have some male friends I'd consider 'awkward'. I have a little crush on a geeky guy I"ve known for awhile. Every time I see him in my local Starbucks, I plop myself down next to him and talk to him. I've known him in a casual way for years. I know he is attracted to me. But he doesn't ask me out.

 

He probably feels he's not good enough for me?? Not sure. But even 'pretty', smart girls feel insecure too, ya know.

 

I think you're right. Unrequited love is the easiest to maintain.

[Els]

Oh, you're talking about those guys who were never the center of attention but in their 30's are suddenly looked at with good eyes and they finally ''manage'' to be in a relationship with the average women who in their 20's wouldn't deign to look at them even if no man was around?

 

Yeah, I've met many guys like that, and the average women they're with consider my buds to be trophy husbands, as they really are.

 

You guys do have a shot at women if you continue on not wanting to become attractive to many women; but according to many an ''awkward'' divorced man, the sex didn't last much past a few months and the money they had to shell out(to be in the relationship or after the divorce) was quite the big sum.

 

What have you encountered that makes you so skeptical? Different folks appreciate different things in partners. Just because two people accept each other for who they are, social awkwardness and geeky quirks and all, doesn't mean that their relationship is any less likely to succeed.

 

IME the relationships between the most suave of socialites are the ones that break off quicker than you can say 'fling'.

[AHardDaysNight]

I take back what I wrote before. I was angry.

 

I have put the troll on iggy, and will no longer respond to his posts. I believe 99% of the forum HAVE put him on iggy.

[ChessPieceFace]

I'm wondering when do the guys who get passed over by women most of their lives, start getting married? If they ever do.

 

Also, how old are the women who are finally settling?

 

Ouch. Yeah that's a really bad attitude to have.

 

If "getting married to someone that is settling for me" is your goal, go out and get yourself any $50k+ a year job, and there you go. I'm sure you'll find some woman who doesn't really love you who will settle for a relatively comfortable lifestyle. And the more money you make, the more attractive gold-digger you will be able to get.

 

If, however, you actually don't want to doom yourself to an unhappy marriage and unhappy life, best work on addressing your social shortcomings in a positive fashion. The world isn't going to change itself to accommodate social misfits like you and I.

 

I personally am fairly content to be alone most of the time, and fairly sure I am totally screwed when it comes to being "the me" that women would want. Which is actually quite a lot unlike me in any way, hence the problem in my case.

 

I don't know your particular personality or issues. But if you are unhappy with the prospect of a life alone with your grown up toys, then by all means start down the road to social self-improvement ASAP. Waiting won't help you.

[Teknoe]

I'm not afraid of intimacy at all, I actually crave it.

 

 

SD, IIRC, you told us before you have no "real friends" to speak of, either male or female. The closest friend you have now is your current lady interest, but lately she's been super flaky on you, cancelling at the last second the past couple times.

 

I find it hard to believe a guy who claims to love intimacy as much as you do have ZERO friends to speak of.

 

Why is that?

[fortyninethousand322]

SD, IIRC, you told us before you have no "real friends" to speak of, either male or female. The closest friend you have now is your current lady interest, but lately she's been super flaky on you, cancelling at the last second the past couple times.

 

I find it hard to believe a guy who claims to love intimacy as much as you do have ZERO friends to speak of.

 

Why is that?

 

Some people have a hard time making friends, even people who crave intimacy.

 

The psychologist act is getting a little old.

[somedude81]

Some people have a hard time making friends, even people who crave intimacy.

 

The psychologist act is getting a little old.

 

What was it about friends and intimacy? They are definitely not connected for me.

 

If it wasn't clear, I'm talking about intimacy between a man and a women.

 

I've had sex with a few women, but have never been close to any of them. Sex without intimacy is empty.

[joystickd]

Well for someone that was awkward i would not say 30s. I say for me it was 25. I had just decided not to focus on finding someone. a few years before i had graduated college and had the most horrible experiences with women and took time to get my head together. Then I got a job and i met someone there. I posted about that on here before a very horrible experience and i met some horrible women. I spent a lot of time bitter. It took me actually looking and asking myself " what am I doing?". Not matter what the common factor with unsuccessful dating is you. Men and women need to take note of that. At the same time I went back to school and became a nurse and not I have become attractive. It mainly because I found something I like to do and a man that is passionate about something is attractive. When all this happened it boosted my confidence which made me even more attractive. Honestly the best thing is to realize meeting women is not that serious of a situation and just relax.

[Teknoe]

Some people have a hard time making friends, even people who crave intimacy.

 

Of course. But I'm looking at the PERSON here. From what I've been able to gather from SD, he claims he craves intimacy but his posts seem to suggest otherwise. His self-sabotage is self-evident.

 

 

 

What was it about friends and intimacy? They are definitely not connected for me.

 

If it wasn't clear, I'm talking about intimacy between a man and a women.

 

 

Really? You don't see the connection of intimacy between platonic friends?

 

Intimacy isn't JUST about physical.

 

It's also an emotional connection. (Good) Friends share an emotional connection/bond.

 

I think your answer speaks volumes for itself. You don't seem to really value platonic friendships (certainly not as much as you value/idolize an intimate relationship with the opposite sex). This is a problem in and of itself. You need friends with whom you share an intimate bond/connection, and it's NOT sexual.

 

Friends help you to enjoy life.

 

And you can't deny, we could all use a little more enjoyment in our lives. Especially you.

[betterdeal]

I parse, "I find non-American and British women unattractive." to imply he finds American and British women attractive, but not any other women.

[AHardDaysNight]

I parse, "I find non-American and British women unattractive." to imply he finds American and British women attractive, but not any other women.

 

I can't see what he's writing, because he's on my ignore list. But I have had a longstanding crush on a British friend.

 

I am American, but I wouldn't date someone from a foreign country, unless they were "Americanized." I wouldn't be able to fit into another person's culture.

 

This is kind of why I hesitate dating black women, even though I find them attractive as well. Many around here were raised with a different culture, different background than me, and I would feel nervous meeting the parents.

[Floridaman]

Originally Posted by Elysian Powder

 

Unless you're satisfied with your celibacy. Listen to what men say. Forget about the emotional thoughts of the men who've only slept with a couple of women and are trying to, with personal stories, that there's a soulmate for everyone . Christian fantasy, nothing more .

What in Hades are you talking about?

This is the second time you've brought up religion. You have something against Christians?

Hey, Mr. Nit-and-Pick off every word every poster writes here, I see you conveniently ignored this question.

[Queen Zenobia]

So he's saying that British women are attractive by insinuating that he doesn't find British women and foreign women to be attractive? Somehow his asper's logic escapes me.

 

According to the quote you provided he said "non-American and British women" were unattractive. Which was probably meant as "non-American and non-British women" the negation on the front of "American" was meant to negate both adjectives.

 

In any occasion it seems kind of petty to constantly be driving this point home to a poster who has already stated that he has put you on ignore. But hey, what do I know?

[Queen Zenobia]

Hey, Mr. Nit-and-Pick off every word every poster writes here, I see you conveniently ignored this question.

 

I'm not sure that you actually want to have a dialog with this person.

[AHardDaysNight]

I'm not sure that you actually want to have a dialog with this person.

 

I don't think anybody in their right mind would want to.

 

This wasn't aimed at FloridaMan, btw.

[AHardDaysNight]

Speaking of Christians, I am a Christian.

 

I am already sort of breaking the law by looking at porn. But this is why I would not have sex outside of a relationship...because of my Christian beliefs.

 

If someone has a problem with this, they can just be put on ignore. I don't want to hear from "players", who I find disgusting and reprehensible.

 

As for "sleeping with only a few women", that's pretty much what I want. Or at least I just want the love of one good woman. I don't want to sleep around, I find that disgusting and immoral.

[Floridaman]

Speaking of Christians, I am a Christian.

 

I am already sort of breaking the law by looking at porn. But this is why I would not have sex outside of a relationship...because of my Christian beliefs.

 

If someone has a problem with this, they can just be put on ignore. I don't want to hear from "players", who I find disgusting and reprehensible. .

Your feelings/ actions on that subject are fine.

Porn can be addicting. I once had like 3GB before I cleared it all this past November.

 

Some fine LS ladies like DreamingofTigers and YouGoGirl helped encourage me to kick it.

Only had a few short relapses. Didn't go for the odd stuff, just normal foreplay, etc.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=3063645&postcount=93

 

As for "sleeping with only a few women", that's pretty much what I want. Or at least I just want the love of one good woman. I don't want to sleep around, I find that disgusting and immoral.

That's fine too, though a little sex is prob. okay

( better put:

human and understandable), even for Christians.

I've posted my experience and have changed my thinking on the subject considerably.

Though I'd never recommend anyone get sexually involved with others casually (it brings a lot of guilt...), committed and monogomous sex seems okay, esp. if you end up marrying the other, like I did.

 

 

Methinks Elyisian is a player and took a swipe at some of my advice.

I'm no prude either, Elysian, and though I haven't had as many ladies as you, I still know some things and try to impart my advice to other fellas who were a lot like me when I was awkward in my 20s...

....particularly (not directed at HardDay'sNight) those virgin men in their late 20s and 30s who somehow think they're "oddballs" for being in that state, or worse, fear women will laugh or intimidate them if they discover they're not "experienced."

http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=379328&p=4811746&viewfull=1#post4811746

 

So I def. know where these guys are coming from... Dating is hard and women are like snakes. You think things are going well, you've been dating 3-6 mos., next thing you know, all Hades breaks loose and there's not one thing she can't find wrong with you... This is apart from sex.

Edited October 6, 2011 by Floridaman