Here I am again and it sucks....

[Imajerk17]

I'm not asking you to recant your statement. I'm simply sticking up for someone who was kind-hearted and got taken advantage of. I'm flaming your stupid ass for your comments, because that is what you deserve. You already know that bit of truth. That's why you picked the screen name that you did.

 

 

Get a life bro. Or at least go back and whine to your therapist. I'm gonna keep speaking the truth as I see it. She wasn't kind-hearted, she was stupid. And until she realizes that, this will keep happening to her.

Edited October 1, 2011 by Imajerk17

[Imajerk17]

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that we were speaking in douchebag. Okay, "bro" -- what would you have her do? Hire a private investigator to follow every person she ever opens herself up to? How else can she be sure that she doesnt make the same mistake again?

 

Let me guess, if only she had your sterling intellect, she would be able to see through space-time itself to determine whether or not potential suitors were going to cheat on her?

 

Of course it was stupid of her to give a guy a chance. The first thing any smart person would do is leave their partner at the first sign of trouble? Right? Your partner gets cancer? Better dump them! They might get fearful of death and act irrational and cheat on you! And if they do cheat on you, it'll be your fault! So sayeth King Asshat!

 

 

Hey aren't you late for your therapy session?

[benB]

Hhaha omg will you two get a new thread to argue! How about helping the OP out and not hijacking her thread haha.

[Imajerk17]

No! See, I used the "ImaJerkoff17" method and realized that all of my misfortunes are my own fault, so I need to take responsibility for them by telling other people that they were/are stupid and they deserve what happens to them! It's great! I've saved so much money, I can stay home from work all day flaming egotistical ****munchers on the Internet!

 

 

If you need to jerkoff to get your release, it's fine, I won't judge. But you really ought to leave the computer and try going out and meet women IRL. You actually can have sex with them too! I can get them to have sex with a jerk like myself! It's true!

 

Don't get any ideas from this forum by telling them you're bipolar and off your meds though, true or not. It might touch a LS woman and get her to "give you a chance", but most other women will actually know enough to run the other way.

Edited October 1, 2011 by Imajerk17

[ShannonMI]

The truth hurts sometimes. I don't sugarcoat, and I stand by what I wrote. You don't screen whom you get involved with, you get burned.

Still ranting? You are such a miserable human being. It's sad. Your version of "truth" doesn't hurt, it's something I consider, but you like to be a d*ck when handing out your "truths" and it's not necessary. There something called tact and you lack that.

[ShannonMI]

Oh yeah? Well you need to realize that people who get into bad situations deserved to get into those bad situations! If you were smarter, like me, you'd be smart and you wouldn't get into trouble! It is your fault that someone you trusted hurt you! It is your responsibility to not get cheated on again! Don't ask me how you prevent that from happening, because if I tried to explain it, the answer would blow your stupid mind!

Oh yeah!!!???!?! You're really getting fired up aren't you? Hahahahahahahaha I'm sitting here laughing my @ss off right now. So you're going to blow my stupid mind with the answers on how to prevent being cheated on? I'd love to hear this. Do tell. Please. And what a woman hater you are. What happened to you that you hate women so much? Did you get dumped? Did a woman make fun of your tiny penis? I feel sorry for you, I really do. I am getting one hell of a laugh out of you though, so keep posting:lmao:

[ShannonMI]

Yeah LOL I'm sure you'd like that for me to sit here and stoop down to your level and explain myself to you. If you knew half of the stuff that I forgot once I realized I didn't know it, it'd still be three times as much as what you forgot about asking me. Don't waste my time. I'm too busy and successful to deal with this stuff. If you wont accept responsability for yourself. Your probably a libral who thinks the goverment should just hand everthing out to people too arent you?! LOL!!!

You are a troll. A troll with a small penis. Sad, sad.

[ShannonMI]

Keep on dreaming Bro. I'm so successful that I have a bridge on my property. I dont live underneath one like your psycho ex-boyfriend who you are responsible for.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha:lmao::lmao:

[Duckduckgoose]

Aside from all this silly internet arguing mess:

 

My exH's mom was Bipolar... and not on meds. One of the ladies that my mom volunteered with in band functions for my brother was bipolar and not on meds. They were only normal... a little bit... exH's mom was such a ****ing piece of work I couldn't stand to be around her and he was emotionally unstable from all the **** she put her kids through when they were younger.

 

The crazy bi-polar lady my mom knew came to my parents' house one night screaming and ranting about something or other. My mom had to call her husband to come get here... ****ing crazy ****.

 

Moral of the story... if they are bi-polar, skitzo, or any kind of mentally ****ed up and are NOT on meds for it... RUN LIKE HELL! Don't feel sorry for them, don't give them benefit of the doubt... RUN!

 

And my advice also is get a restraining order on crazy dude before he gets out of jail if you can.

 

Its like picking the small sickly puppy of the litter because you feel sorry for it. Its small, sickly, and rejected by the other puppies for a reason. Your vet bills are gonna be insane if the damn thing lives.

[leoc1973]

I was just reading your post about the bipolar thing because I met a girl who was bipolar and she was great at first and got crazy really quick. So I read on to see where your story was going. Then this imajerk guy comes in and starts bashing people for whining on a forum where people come for support while they are hurting. I hope he gets banned I will bet he throws a hissy fit under his bridge. Good for you for giving the bipolar guy a chance! I don't think being bipolar causes cheating though.

[broken-and-lost]

Shannon

 

I just wanted to say after the jerk has finished talking crap that i've suffered with depression in the past and it's cost me relationships but i would never cheat on the person i care about no matter what, it's one thing you should never accept in a relationship.

 

the fact you did not judge the guy for having an illness and tried to support him, makes you a caring and loving human being. I hope you would continue to act in this way with the people you meet regardless of illness or not.

 

I'm sorry for your pain when you have suffered with depression yourself you always want to reach out and help others you see in similar positions, that makes you a good person and not what that ass clown was trying to make out.

[ShannonMI]

Aside from all this silly internet arguing mess:

 

My exH's mom was Bipolar... and not on meds. One of the ladies that my mom volunteered with in band functions for my brother was bipolar and not on meds. They were only normal... a little bit... exH's mom was such a ****ing piece of work I couldn't stand to be around her and he was emotionally unstable from all the **** she put her kids through when they were younger.

 

The crazy bi-polar lady my mom knew came to my parents' house one night screaming and ranting about something or other. My mom had to call her husband to come get here... ****ing crazy ****.

 

Moral of the story... if they are bi-polar, skitzo, or any kind of mentally ****ed up and are NOT on meds for it... RUN LIKE HELL! Don't feel sorry for them, don't give them benefit of the doubt... RUN!

 

And my advice also is get a restraining order on crazy dude before he gets out of jail if you can.

 

Its like picking the small sickly puppy of the litter because you feel sorry for it. Its small, sickly, and rejected by the other puppies for a reason. Your vet bills are gonna be insane if the damn thing lives.

Thanks for the response. When I met him he was pretty normal without the meds so I figured he had the sh*t under control. When he started to slip, I demanded he go get meds and he did, but I don't think he was on them long enough to prevent the meltdown he had. Now I know if a man tells me he's bipolar and not taking meds to control it, to run for the f*cking hills!! Actually even if he is taking meds, I'm going to pass because I've heard that they tend to STOP taking the meds because they don't feel they need them. The guy I dated was on them through out his life and he would go off of them because he felt he could beat the illness on his own. Now look where he is. It's really a sad reality.

 

I know cheating is part of the illness because I've read things online about their hypersexuality and impulsive actions, but I'm done. Must be nice to be a cheating dirtbag and be able to blame it on a mental illness.

[ShannonMI]

I was just reading your post about the bipolar thing because I met a girl who was bipolar and she was great at first and got crazy really quick. So I read on to see where your story was going. Then this imajerk guy comes in and starts bashing people for whining on a forum where people come for support while they are hurting. I hope he gets banned I will bet he throws a hissy fit under his bridge. Good for you for giving the bipolar guy a chance! I don't think being bipolar causes cheating though.

Thanks for the response. I think Imajerk has finally left this thread and gone back under his bridge. He's just an @sshole who gets off on being a dick to people. Makes him feel better.

 

Anyways I've done some research online and bipolar does cause cheating. They lose all sense of right and wrong, they have hypersexuality and they lose control of their impulses. Whatever. I'm not letting him use that as an excuse. He's actually not even taking responsiblity for the cheating. He's saying I was brainwashed and told a bunch of lies. He's crazy. Now I'm just worried when he gets out of jail, how much of a pain in the @ss he's going to be. He can be pretty relentless I guess. I've spoken with his aunt on the phone and that's what she said. He doesn't take no for an answer. I honestly hope he goes back to Cali. He's not wanted here in NY. I'll most likely be posting on here as the ridiculousness continues. As long as I don't get blamed for being stalked and harassed by the trolls on this site. Apparently it's my fault I was cheated on and for all I know it's my fault the guy is bipolar in the first place. At least according to Imajerk. Hahahahahahahaha :laugh:I actually thought that guy was pretty funny. I wasn't offended at all. Some people are just miserable b@stards. Oh well.

[ShannonMI]

Shannon

 

I just wanted to say after the jerk has finished talking crap that i've suffered with depression in the past and it's cost me relationships but i would never cheat on the person i care about no matter what, it's one thing you should never accept in a relationship.

 

the fact you did not judge the guy for having an illness and tried to support him, makes you a caring and loving human being. I hope you would continue to act in this way with the people you meet regardless of illness or not.

 

I'm sorry for your pain when you have suffered with depression yourself you always want to reach out and help others you see in similar positions, that makes you a good person and not what that ass clown was trying to make out.

Yeah depression has never caused me to cheat. Bipolar disorder is a whole other illness though. It DOES cause people to cheat. I've done some research online and that is a common thing I guess. Also KathyM, one of the LS members who posted on my thread early on, said she did lengthy research on bipolar and it is definitely a symptom of the illness. She said it's really not his fault. I disagree. It's his fault he wasn't on meds and let his impulses take over. Nothing he says or does will make me think otherwise. Even if he says he will go on meds, I'm done. I will continue to give people the benefit of the doubt and I will continue to give people chances, but dating a bipolar man will not be something I ever do again. No f*cking way.

[Imajerk17]

Now I got to chime in one more time.... This time, TACTFULLY. The way I said things yesterday wasn't the best.

 

BUT.... I'm concerned when women (and men) talk about "giving people a chance" like it makes them Florence Nightingail or something. I know you won't consider bipolar anymore and good for you, but you realize that there's still a quite long list ahead of you. I mean, what if the guy has a criminal record? Is really bad with money? Irresponsible? Has a history of being abusive? Has a history of cheating? Shows bad boundaries? Comes on way too strong/overly possesive?

 

My understanding is that you stood by this guy long after things started to go south. Even up to two weeks ago you were trying to make this work with him, at least going by your recent posts. How did you expect things to turn out?

Edited October 2, 2011 by Imajerk17

[KathyM]

Yeah depression has never caused me to cheat. Bipolar disorder is a whole other illness though. It DOES cause people to cheat. I've done some research online and that is a common thing I guess. Also KathyM, one of the LS members who posted on my thread early on, said she did lengthy research on bipolar and it is definitely a symptom of the illness. She said it's really not his fault. I disagree. It's his fault he wasn't on meds and let his impulses take over. Nothing he says or does will make me think otherwise. Even if he says he will go on meds, I'm done. I will continue to give people the benefit of the doubt and I will continue to give people chances, but dating a bipolar man will not be something I ever do again. No f*cking way.

Just to clarify, depression alone is a separate mental illness and it's symptoms do not include hypersexuality, as you have mentioned. With people who are bipolar, they have the capacity to experience both the depression and the mania, but it is usually the depressive side that people experience who have the disorder, and they never develop symptoms of mania. For some people, they never experience the depressive side and only experience the manic side, and the manic side is the one that causes loss of impulse control and hypersexuality. That is not to say that all people who develop mania or hypomania are automatically going to cheat or become overly sexual, but they do lose control of their impulses, and that can cause them to cheat. If the man in this case knew that he was bipolar and was not taking medication for it, then I guess you could blame him for not taking his medication, but from what I have read, some people do only suffer one manic attack at the initial onset of the illness, and never experience another manic attack again in their life, so they think they don't need the medication anymore after the initial outbreak is over. Some psychiatrists also convince them sometimes to go off the medication if they are able to manage their stress, which triggers an outbreak, well enough. The medication people take for bipolar disorder, which is usually lithium, can damage the liver over time, and that may be why people try to manage without taking the medication. Most likely in this case, the man thought that since he was no longer experiencing symptoms, that he no longer needed to take the medication. People don't automatically relapse by not taking their medication. Some people can manage without taking it if they control their stress levels and have only had one episode. There is a kindling effect whereby the more episodes they have of symptoms, the easier it is to develop symptoms over time, and the less stress it takes to trigger an outbreak. So my point is that most people do need to take medication for their entire lifetime to prevent symptoms from recurring, but it is common for people to start thinking that if they don't have symptoms currently, they don't need the medication, and also some psychiatrists do take their patients off of the medication for a time period to see if they can manage without, because some people can if they control their stress level, and because the medication is likely to have long term consequences on their physical health.

[broken-and-lost]

Just to clarify, depression alone is a separate mental illness and it's symptoms do not include hypersexuality, as you have mentioned. With people who are bipolar, they have the capacity to experience both the depression and the mania, but it is usually the depressive side that people experience who have the disorder, and they never develop symptoms of mania. For some people, they never experience the depressive side and only experience the manic side, and the manic side is the one that causes loss of impulse control and hypersexuality. That is not to say that all people who develop mania or hypomania are automatically going to cheat or become overly sexual, but they do lose control of their impulses, and that can cause them to cheat. If the man in this case knew that he was bipolar and was not taking medication for it, then I guess you could blame him for not taking his medication, but from what I have read, some people do only suffer one manic attack at the initial onset of the illness, and never experience another manic attack again in their life, so they think they don't need the medication anymore after the initial outbreak is over. Some psychiatrists also convince them sometimes to go off the medication if they are able to manage their stress, which triggers an outbreak, well enough. The medication people take for bipolar disorder, which is usually lithium, can damage the liver over time, and that may be why people try to manage without taking the medication. Most likely in this case, the man thought that since he was no longer experiencing symptoms, that he no longer needed to take the medication. People don't automatically relapse by not taking their medication. Some people can manage without taking it if they control their stress levels and have only had one episode. There is a kindling effect whereby the more episodes they have of symptoms, the easier it is to develop symptoms over time, and the less stress it takes to trigger an outbreak. So my point is that most people do need to take medication for their entire lifetime to prevent symptoms from recurring, but it is common for people to start thinking that if they don't have symptoms currently, they don't need the medication, and also some psychiatrists do take their patients off of the medication for a time period to see if they can manage without, because some people can if they control their stress level, and because the medication is likely to have long term consequences on their physical health.

 

I feel sorry for anyone who is unfortunate to suffer with this illness it sounds even worse then depression and that is a stone around your neck if your unable to get it under some control.

 

I respect shannon view here that she give it a shot but for such a short relationship she can't possibly be aspected to put up with it and walking away is the sensible approach before she fell in love with the guy.

 

I wish him well as no one should have to deal with any metal illness it's rarely understood and has terrible impact on a lot of peoples lives. You are sometimes shamed into thinking it's not real just because people can't see a physical wound, but ultimately with help it's your own responsibility to control it best you can with whatever help is available to you.

[ShannonMI]

Just to clarify, depression alone is a separate mental illness and it's symptoms do not include hypersexuality, as you have mentioned. With people who are bipolar, they have the capacity to experience both the depression and the mania, but it is usually the depressive side that people experience who have the disorder, and they never develop symptoms of mania. For some people, they never experience the depressive side and only experience the manic side, and the manic side is the one that causes loss of impulse control and hypersexuality. That is not to say that all people who develop mania or hypomania are automatically going to cheat or become overly sexual, but they do lose control of their impulses, and that can cause them to cheat. If the man in this case knew that he was bipolar and was not taking medication for it, then I guess you could blame him for not taking his medication, but from what I have read, some people do only suffer one manic attack at the initial onset of the illness, and never experience another manic attack again in their life, so they think they don't need the medication anymore after the initial outbreak is over. Some psychiatrists also convince them sometimes to go off the medication if they are able to manage their stress, which triggers an outbreak, well enough. The medication people take for bipolar disorder, which is usually lithium, can damage the liver over time, and that may be why people try to manage without taking the medication. Most likely in this case, the man thought that since he was no longer experiencing symptoms, that he no longer needed to take the medication. People don't automatically relapse by not taking their medication. Some people can manage without taking it if they control their stress levels and have only had one episode. There is a kindling effect whereby the more episodes they have of symptoms, the easier it is to develop symptoms over time, and the less stress it takes to trigger an outbreak. So my point is that most people do need to take medication for their entire lifetime to prevent symptoms from recurring, but it is common for people to start thinking that if they don't have symptoms currently, they don't need the medication, and also some psychiatrists do take their patients off of the medication for a time period to see if they can manage without, because some people can if they control their stress level, and because the medication is likely to have long term consequences on their physical health.

The guy I dated definitely had more then one episode. So he is someone that needs to be on medication forever to control it. He told me on more then one occasion that he felt he could control the illness and therefore did not need to take drugs to help him. When he started to slip, I suggested he get on some meds and at first he refused. I told him that if he didn't get on something, I was done with him. He eventually agreed to start taking something. He was taking Seroquel XR for about a week when he had his meltdown. Not enough time to build up in his system and prevent what happened. I guess he is currently on medication in jail so that's a good thing. Hopefully when he gets out he won't be wacked out of his mind. Hopefully he'll be rational enough to realize the relationship is OVER and to move on without any incident. Time will tell.

[ShannonMI]

I feel sorry for anyone who is unfortunate to suffer with this illness it sounds even worse then depression and that is a stone around your neck if your unable to get it under some control.

 

I respect shannon view here that she give it a shot but for such a short relationship she can't possibly be aspected to put up with it and walking away is the sensible approach before she fell in love with the guy.

 

I wish him well as no one should have to deal with any metal illness it's rarely understood and has terrible impact on a lot of peoples lives. You are sometimes shamed into thinking it's not real just because people can't see a physical wound, but ultimately with help it's your own responsibility to control it best you can with whatever help is available to you.

Yes bipolar is a horrible illness. I really feel bad for the guy, but it is what it is. I'm done trying to help him. I won't be cheated on. Even if it's part of the illness. Hopefully as he moves on in his life, he will get the proper help and stay on the medication that is perscribed to him. For some reason I don't think that's going to happen though. It's sad.

[wilsonx]

I am glad you moved on from him... I am very fascinated in these threads...

 

I can be glad to say I have never dealt with anyone that was bi polar but I feel your pain and I admire you ability to walk away.

 

I too have had a relationship with someone that is not mentally stable. Good ole cluster B and its actually getting worse the more I am away from her.

 

One of the best suggestions I have is look internally and find out the reason, you date these types of people. There has to be a reason and then fix it. Was it low self esteem/confidence issues/ issues from your past?

[ShannonMI]

I am glad you moved on from him... I am very fascinated in these threads...

 

I can be glad to say I have never dealt with anyone that was bi polar but I feel your pain and I admire you ability to walk away.

 

I too have had a relationship with someone that is not mentally stable. Good ole cluster B and its actually getting worse the more I am away from her.

 

One of the best suggestions I have is look internally and find out the reason, you date these types of people. There has to be a reason and then fix it. Was it low self esteem/confidence issues/ issues from your past?

What is cluster B? Sorry, don't mean to sound stupid, but I'm not familiar with that. Why did I decide to date this particular person? Because he was interesting, nice, physically attractive, easy to talk to. When he told me he was bipolar I was OK with it because he seemed fine mentally at the time. He didn't seem "off" or strange so I continued to date him. Also, I suffer from depression and I wouldn't want a man to write me off right off the bat if I was open and honest with him about my issues. I would hope he would see beyond that.

 

So why did I not dump him when he started to lose it? Probably because I had developed feelings for him and I wanted to help him. Maybe I'm co-Dependant? I've actually put a lot of thought into that. Or maybe I'm just a kind hearted, empathetic person? When someone I care about is going through a tough time I'm not going to say "OK this is too much for me, so peace out." Especially if I really like the person. That's just not how I do things. I'm going to try to be supportive and help them. I don't think it has anything to do with low self esteem or low confidence. I think if that was the issue then I would still be standing by this guy even though he cheated. I would forgive him and continue to date him. I would wait for him to do it to me again. That isn't happening here. So I don't know what to think. Co-dependency could be a real issue with me, but I'm more inclined to think it has to do with the empathetic and compassionate parts of my personality. I'm just that type of person. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm not a shrink. I do know I've never dated a mentally ill or physically ill person before, so it's not like I go for that type of guy. The one I need to "fix" or "help." I've always dated "normal" guys. This is all new to me. So who knows. I'm not really interested in psycho analyzing this to be honest.

[CopingGal]

He sounds like an angry little man doesn't he?

 

Yes. And I know what you mean about giving someone a chance. I suffer from depression and anxiety. No one is perfect. You have a good heart to have given him a chance.

[ShannonMI]

Yes. And I know what you mean about giving someone a chance. I suffer from depression and anxiety. No one is perfect. You have a good heart to have given him a chance.

Thank you.

[CopingGal]

What is cluster B?

 

Cluster B is a group of personality disorders that includes Borderline Personality disorder, Antisocial Personality disorder, and Histronic Personality disorder. Personality disorders are very difficult to treat. It is extremely hard to be involved with someone that one of has these disorders. Some people have more than one personality disorder. They are distructive and hurtful to the partner of one that has one of them.

 

If you are interested, try putting in Cluster B or Cluster A or Cluster C with the words personality disorder. They are very interesting. I learned about them because I studied psychology in school.

[ShannonMI]

Cluster B is a group of personality disorders that includes Borderline Personality disorder, Antisocial Personality disorder, and Histronic Personality disorder. Personality disorders are very difficult to treat. It is extremely hard to be involved with someone that one of has these disorders. Some people have more than one personality disorder. They are distructive and hurtful to the partner of one that has one of them.

 

If you are interested, try putting in Cluster B or Cluster A or Cluster C with the words personality disorder. They are very interesting. I learned about them because I studied psychology in school.

Interesting. I'll look into it. I just received a letter from the guy. He tried explaining himself. He's just so crazy. Why do I still feel bad for him? I feel like I want to cry right now. I wish this whole thing would just go away.