FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I was on a date last night with this guy. We began talking about relationships and what we look for in a mate. Since we were being open and honest, I told him I wanted a man without kids, and one who can support me financially. He called me a mean bitch and said that I am shallow for not considering a man who perhaps isn't wealthy, but has "lots of love". He said I only want a man for money. His best argument was "Men with money don't know how to love women. They just buy them diamonds and expensive things and think that's enough". He said that men without money are the better kind, because they aren't shallow. I'm beginning to think that the only reason I ever questioned my standards was because every man I have ever met didn't meet them. Why does every guy think that if a woman wants a man with money, that she ONLY wants the money and nothing else? Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 It is shallow... but I doubt such men don't harbor the male equivalent --- they all likely want a woman who possesses physical beauty (through their eyes). At least you're open and upfront about it Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Did you put in your dating profile that you are looking for a man with money? From the sounds of it he had crappy arguments, but I'm sensing we're not getting the entire story here. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Nice. Unfortunately, familiar rhetoric that's been posted on these boards. I hope you walked out on him and there's no chance of a second date. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 He shouldn't have reacted the way he did but I have money and I would not support a woman financially. No adult should depend on another person like that. I am not going to support a capable adult. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Chick Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I think if you said "financially secure" instead of "able to support me financially" that would have been better. What do you mean by having a guy able to "support you financially?" I don't understand that - you want to be able to quit your job while you date this guy because you're going to be getting your income from him? you want him to give you money to support your income? I don't get it and if I were a guy, I might be put off, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 You both acted strangly for a date. FrustratedStandards, I'm purely just curious. What if the man said to you: " I want a woman without kids and gigantic knockers". I would personally be offended and the date would be over right then and there. Perhaps you'd be okay with this though. Or insert whatever in there "..women without kids and will give me bjs everyday..." I just think your kind of honesty was a bit tacky. Okay, you want a man that will provide for you. Usually you can figure what type a man is the way he behaves as you get to know him. I think even a guy that could and wanted to provide for you might find that a little tacky. And okay if a man wants to date a woman with gigantic knockers, he can seek those women out without telling his date this is what he wants. He had no right to call you a name or get mad like that though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 I forgot I was in America. My bad. The men are different here. I didn't walk out on him, but I don't want to see him again. Dating profile? What dating profile? And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them. Right right. This is America. No chivalry. Different mentality. *sigh* why did I bother making a thread about this... Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I forgot I was in America. My bad. The men are different here. I didn't walk out on him, but I don't want to see him again. Dating profile? What dating profile? And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them. Right right. This is America. No chivalry. Different mentality. *sigh* why did I bother making a thread about this... Ah, so you want to be a homemaker. There is nothing wrong with that, but I think he got the impression that you were looking for a guy who bought you whatever you want and you gave him nothing in return. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 There is nothing wrong with what he said, and a lot of truth in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 Chances are he has kids you haven't heard about yet and he lied about how much money he has:) If you had good points in your discussion when you spoke with him them he wa re-acting rather than actually having a discussion.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 I guess that's because in this country the women don't know how to cook or clean. They just buy frozen dinners, microwave it and call it a day. I'm just very bitter today. I'm so sick of meeting ugly, unintelligent and unsophisticated or well-mannered people. That's why, whether I turn into a big bitch or not, I get the same results. At least if i'm a big bitch, I don't lead any men on. Unless of course, they know what they're doing. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I think by making the statement you in a sense rejected him.. hence the calling you a name... Some people can't take rejection.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 There is nothing wrong with what he said, and a lot of truth in it. So automatically if I appreciate that a man can afford to pick up the tab, and I don't offer to pitch in, im a golddigger? This will sound very bitter, but i'm sick of dating poor men who can't afford to take me out on one decent date. I don't know what it feels like to be taken care of, where a man can say "You know what, you spent so much time getting pretty, you look great, let me take you out and show you a good time". I want to date a man with money because I want to know what that feels like to be the woman, to have a man take charge, take control, have everything figured out. I don't think thats shallow. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them.. I did (do) all that, AND worked :lmao: ... with chitlin though to rear as well. but yes, perhaps he misinterpreted what you meant. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I think it's time to step away from the keyboard and perhaps go for a run. Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyDude Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I was on a date last night with this guy. We began talking about relationships and what we look for in a mate. Since we were being open and honest, I told him I wanted a man without kids, and one who can support me financially. He called me a mean bitch and said that I am shallow for not considering a man who perhaps isn't wealthy, but has "lots of love". He said I only want a man for money. His best argument was "Men with money don't know how to love women. They just buy them diamonds and expensive things and think that's enough". He said that men without money are the better kind, because they aren't shallow. I'm beginning to think that the only reason I ever questioned my standards was because every man I have ever met didn't meet them. Why does every guy think that if a woman wants a man with money, that she ONLY wants the money and nothing else? I see why he was mad because it was a stupid thing for you to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I want to date a man with money because I want to know what that feels like to be the woman, to have a man take charge, take control, have everything figured out. I don't think thats shallow. Of course it is shallow.. You don't have to have money to take control, take charge and have everything figured out... Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 You're right. I'm so worked up and angry. I need to let off some steam. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 I guess that's because in this country the women don't know how to cook or clean. They just buy frozen dinners, microwave it and call it a day. I only know one woman, my boss, that regularly made frozen dinners. With all the women I know, many take pride in their cooking and keeping clean tidy homes. Perhaps it's your negative view point of this country that keeps accounting for the kind of men you end up on dates with. Further, aren't you going to answer my question about the gigantic Knockers? I'm truely curious how you would feel if a man said something along those lines to you. Perhaps you would have been a okay with it..I don't know. That's why I am asking. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 What country are you from? Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 Of course it is shallow.. You don't have to have money to take control, take charge and have everything figured out... How can a man take charge if he asks "hey do you have $20 bucks? i can't afford this". Or how can a man have everything figured out when he says "listen I can't afford to go to the movies with you, i'm broke and spent all my money on boozing up last night". Yeah, what a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author FrustratedStandards Posted October 1, 2011 Author Share Posted October 1, 2011 (edited) Further, aren't you going to answer my question about the gigantic Knockers? I'm truely curious how you would feel if a man said something along those lines to you. Perhaps you would have been a okay with it..I don't know. That's why I am asking. Why would I be offended? If that's the kind of woman he wants then thats good! I don't have huge breasts, so if he told me thats what he wanted in a woman then I would understand that i'm not what he is looking for. We would have a good laugh and be on our way. The only difference here is that lots of women measure a mans success by his wealth. Since many men aren't successful, they get very offended, because although they may have tons of other things to offer, if he doesn't have a stable income, his other good qualities don't matter anymore. Thats why men gets so angry. If a guy wants big knockers then thats preference and taste. Am I gonna be offended because he has preferences? Hahaha of course not! If a man measures beauty in breast size, then I would be ugly to many. And i'm fine with that. You can't expect to please everybody. Edited October 1, 2011 by FrustratedStandards Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 How did you meet this guy or where do you know him from? Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 1, 2011 Share Posted October 1, 2011 How can a man take charge if he asks "hey do you have $20 bucks? i can't afford this". Or how can a man have everything figured out when he says "listen I can't afford to go to the movies with you, i'm broke and spent all my money on boozing up last night". Yeah, what a man. Well that's not a "good" man anyway. But there are good men who are not "successful/wealthy"... I'm sure there's good men whom are also such too... Either way, they can live unhealthy lifestyles / in corrupt manners... Link to post Share on other sites
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