Was called a mean bitch the other day just because I have high standards.

[TheBigQuestion]

Fantastic! A thread addressing the very thing I addressed from the other side of this debate not too long ago!

 

Listen here, FrustratedStandards, and listen good. The fact that you are a woman does not in and of itself entitle you to any special treatment. You are not entitled to having your dinners paid for you by a man any more than he would be entitled to have you pay for his. You live in a country where (thankfully) that outdated, parasitic outlook on life is slowly but surely becoming extinct. Asking for the type of relationship you want doesn't necessarily make you a golddigger. But you're still living in a society that is aspiring to gender equality. You will face an uphill battle, and rightfully so.

 

Do me a favor. Try to argue in a rational manner why I HAVE to pay for your movie ticket. I can afford it, and I'm a man. But no one who holds your viewpoint has ever been able to say WHY or HOW that automatically means the man is then required to pay. It makes no sense at all, and it is quite frankly a stupid viewpoint.

[Art_Critic]

Try to argue in a rational manner why I HAVE to pay for your movie ticket.

 

Why do they need to argue that..

Isn't it just a preference... if you prefer to not have 2nd or 3rd dates then do what you want..

 

When I was dating I wanted to treat women the ultimate best, to put my best foot forward and show off who I am.. why in the hell would I shoot myself in the foot and end the first date without a chance of getting a second..

 

My preference is to treat a woman special.. WTF is wrong with that ?

[dispatch3d]

Alright this all seems reasonable to me. Now lets do the picture thing where we rate you, gogogo!!

[TheBigQuestion]

Why do they need to argue that..

Isn't it just a preference... if you prefer to not have 2nd or 3rd dates then do what you want..

 

When I was dating I wanted to treat women the ultimate best, to put my best foot forward and show off who I am.. why in the hell would I shoot myself in the foot and end the first date without a chance of getting a second..

 

My preference is to treat a woman special.. WTF is wrong with that ?

 

There's nothing wrong with your preference. The OP's preference is questionable because it is an undeserved entitlement.

[Pierre]

Fantastic! A thread addressing the very thing I addressed from the other side of this debate not too long ago!

 

Listen here, FrustratedStandards, and listen good. The fact that you are a woman does not in and of itself entitle you to any special treatment. You are not entitled to having your dinners paid for you by a man any more than he would be entitled to have you pay for his. You live in a country where (thankfully) that outdated, parasitic outlook on life is slowly but surely becoming extinct. Asking for the type of relationship you want doesn't necessarily make you a golddigger. But you're still living in a society that is aspiring to gender equality. You will face an uphill battle, and rightfully so.

 

Do me a favor. Try to argue in a rational manner why I HAVE to pay for your movie ticket. I can afford it, and I'm a man. But no one who holds your viewpoint has ever been able to say WHY or HOW that automatically means the man is then required to pay. It makes no sense at all, and it is quite frankly a stupid viewpoint.

 

I have to give you credit for taking advantage of the liberation of the woman movement.

 

I don't think the op is a gold digger. She is simply tired of cheap men.

 

If you read the entire thread you will find that a lot of women prefer men that are not cheap.

[musemaj11]

If you read the entire thread you will find that a lot of women prefer men that are not cheap.

How is that much of a surprise? Who doesnt like getting free rides? I would love to get a woman who would throw her money on me, too.

[Woggle]

What is so wrong with being cheap? The cheap people I know tend to always have a lot of money and are not always in debt and broke. Why is this a bad thing?

 

I do agree with the people though who they that use who get together because they actually like the person instead of for shallower reasons tend to have better relationships.

[oaks]

What is so wrong with being cheap? The cheap people I know tend to always have a lot of money and are not always in debt and broke. Why is this a bad thing?

 

Yes. You don't get rich by spending it.

[musemaj11]

Whether that particular job lasts or not doesn't matter, as long as I know he is CAPABLE of being financially stable and he exudes that.

Didnt you say you plan to just become a housewife?

 

If 10 years after the marriage suddenly your husband loses his job or gets disabled, who is going to feed the both of you? After 10 years out of work, you wouldnt magically be able to get back into a high paying career to support the both of you.

 

Chances are when that happens, you are just going to leave your husband and look for another man to leech off of.

[oaks]

If 10 years after the marriage suddenly your husband loses his job or gets disabled, who is going to feed the both of you? After 10 years out of work, you wouldnt magically be able to get back into a high paying career to support the both of you.

 

Chances are when that happens, you are just going to leave your husband and look for another man to leech off of.

 

You can buy insurance against that. (Although, these days, you can even insure your marriage. Crazy times.)

[musemaj11]

I don't understand. Men ask a girl out based on her attractiveness, THEN he gets to know her. So what's wrong with a woman basing her decision on a man's financial success?

Didnt you also say that you arent attracted to Russian men? So obviously not only you are financially picky, but you are also physically picky. You want the best of both worlds. This is just getting amusing. Good luck with your hunt finding that man of fantasy. An attractive and successful man who is willing to devotes himself to a woman who just wants to stay home and do nothing. Funny. Honestly if I were you I wouldnt hold my breath waiting for such a man otherwise I would just die alone. Edited October 3, 2011 by musemaj11

[PinkInTheLimo]

Honey, wanting a man who can support you financially has nothing to do with having high standards but everything with being a golddigger.

 

The guy should not have called you a mean bitch, instead he should just have ended the date.

 

Anno 2011 women should make sure they have their own income.

[Pierre]

How is that much of a surprise? Who doesnt like getting free rides? I would love to get a woman who would throw her money on me, too.

 

It is not about the money.

 

Some women simply prefer men that act like a gentleman and that includes paying the check in a restaurant and not asking his date for money.

 

This same women do not mind paying their way once they are in a long term relationship with the same guy.

[xxoo]

It is not about the money.

 

Some women simply prefer men that act like a gentleman and that includes paying the check in a restaurant and not asking his date for money.

 

This same women do not mind paying their way once they are in a long term relationship with the same guy.

 

Deeply ingrained early courtship behavior. Resistance is futile

[Dusk1983]

Guys who pay all the time tend to be chumps. They know it (hence why they pay) and you as women know it.

 

And I do not buy this 'it triggers a response of feeling protected' stuff. BS. What it actually triggers is a response of 'this guy is a chump', which puts you in control of that dynamic.

 

To put it another way - if I have to financially compensate you for being with me, I am by definition a chump. And you know I'm a chump, because I'm communicating it loud and clear: "My personal attributes are not enough. I must therefore pay."

 

Wise up, gents.

[KR10N]

Why do they need to argue that..

Isn't it just a preference... if you prefer to not have 2nd or 3rd dates then do what you want..

 

When I was dating I wanted to treat women the ultimate best, to put my best foot forward and show off who I am.. why in the hell would I shoot myself in the foot and end the first date without a chance of getting a second..

 

My preference is to treat a woman special.. WTF is wrong with that ?

Because not all women want to be treated that way. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I want a guy to smother me w/ attention. If on a date I would expect to pay my fair share, even if it's just gas money. I absolutely hate taking money from people & feel I don't deserve one cent til I've earned it.

 

And showing off is not always good.

[Pierre]

Because not all women want to be treated that way. Just because I'm female doesn't mean I want a guy to smother me w/ attention. If on a date I would expect to pay my fair share, even if it's just gas money. I absolutely hate taking money from people & feel I don't deserve one cent til I've earned it.

 

And showing off is not always good.

 

As I said some females want to pay their way 100% of the time and one must let them pay.

 

As a guy I am the same way. I cannot stand the idea of someone else paying for me.

 

But, the issue is not money. The issue is whether women like the concept of going out with a gentleman or some chump that is way to cheap.

[Pierre]

Guys who pay all the time tend to be chumps. They know it (hence why they pay) and you as women know it.

 

And I do not buy this 'it triggers a response of feeling protected' stuff. BS. What it actually triggers is a response of 'this guy is a chump', which puts you in control of that dynamic.

 

To put it another way - if I have to financially compensate you for being with me, I am by definition a chump. And you know I'm a chump, because I'm communicating it loud and clear: "My personal attributes are not enough. I must therefore pay."

 

Wise up, gents.

 

 

It is not about being a chump. If you think that someone that picks up the check is a chump you are simply rationalizing the fact that you do not earn enough money to pick up the check.

 

For someone that makes good money picking up the check is negligible regarding his personal finances.

 

Even women that are not gold diggers are genuinely attracted to men that have a high income. The latter implies intelligence and power and this is always attractive to most women.

[oaks]

Guys who pay all the time tend to be chumps. They know it (hence why they pay) and you as women know it.

 

And I do not buy this 'it triggers a response of feeling protected' stuff. BS. What it actually triggers is a response of 'this guy is a chump', which puts you in control of that dynamic.

 

To put it another way - if I have to financially compensate you for being with me, I am by definition a chump. And you know I'm a chump, because I'm communicating it loud and clear: "My personal attributes are not enough. I must therefore pay."

 

Wise up, gents.

 

I'm not sure if I agree or not, but that's a brilliant perspective!

[stillafool]

I don't understand. Men ask a girl out based on her attractiveness, THEN he gets to know her. So what's wrong with a woman basing her decision on a man's financial success?

 

Is it important to you whether the man is physically and sexually attractive to you or is his financial success enough?

[xxoo]

Guys who pay all the time tend to be chumps. They know it (hence why they pay) and you as women know it.

 

And I do not buy this 'it triggers a response of feeling protected' stuff. BS. What it actually triggers is a response of 'this guy is a chump', which puts you in control of that dynamic.

 

To put it another way - if I have to financially compensate you for being with me, I am by definition a chump. And you know I'm a chump, because I'm communicating it loud and clear: "My personal attributes are not enough. I must therefore pay."

 

Wise up, gents.

 

This is true IF she is not interested in free dates.

 

When I was dating my H, I preferred a riding bikes in the park, or visiting a free museum, over a restaurant meal. Mostly, I just wanted to spend time with him.

 

But when we went out, his paying was a turn-on! I can't help it!

[Woggle]

A good test for a guy to see if he has a gold digger or a user on his hands is ever a month or so of dating her take her to a gritty little hole in the wall spot for a bite to eat and see how she reacts. This will speak volumnes.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Fantastic! A thread addressing the very thing I addressed from the other side of this debate not too long ago!

 

Listen here, FrustratedStandards, and listen good. The fact that you are a woman does not in and of itself entitle you to any special treatment. You are not entitled to having your dinners paid for you by a man any more than he would be entitled to have you pay for his. You live in a country where (thankfully) that outdated, parasitic outlook on life is slowly but surely becoming extinct. Asking for the type of relationship you want doesn't necessarily make you a golddigger. But you're still living in a society that is aspiring to gender equality. You will face an uphill battle, and rightfully so.

 

Do me a favor. Try to argue in a rational manner why I HAVE to pay for your movie ticket. I can afford it, and I'm a man. But no one who holds your viewpoint has ever been able to say WHY or HOW that automatically means the man is then required to pay. It makes no sense at all, and it is quite frankly a stupid viewpoint.

 

 

It's not extinct with the men I date.

 

 

No one is going to argue that you *have* to pay for someone else's movie ticket. Some of the nicest things that people have done for me were things they did not because they had to but because they wanted to. They were also things done that they didn't expect something in return for in some kind of tit for tat race to the finish. If you are always keeping a check list about what you do and what your friends, family members or love interests do for you, you are going to forever unhappy. I was so grateful for the people in my life thinking of me and wanting to do nice things for me. Such as when my brother use to chance the oil in my car without even saying anything to me. Or a boyfriend bringing me home a Pumpkin Spice Latte without asking just because he knew I loved those. Or when my friends drive me to the airport without expecting anything in return. Or when my best girlfriend sent me flowers when I was sick.

 

You might want to check out a book called The Five Languages of Love. It shows 5 different types of ways people experience love. One language is gifts. The author, a PHD is clear to state that a person's interest in gifts isn't selfish. It might be how they were related to growing up or how they saw their parents relate. When a man takes you out to dinner, it's a gift. That's how I see it. And gifts don't have to be big, expensive or even have to cost money. One time an ex took me out on a date to a place where you can sit and play chess. It was one of the coolest dates ever and he paid all of 5 bucks for us to sit there and flirt and play chess while a bunch of old men watched. It was a blast. We where there for hours.

 

The problem with this self righteous "women are just trying to take advantage of me" mentality is that it's all about *you*. It's "me, me me". You are not asking yourself what you can do to show a woman you care. You are asking yourself what *you* get out of the deal. And that isn't a good sign in building a relationship. And yes, I also think a woman should be asking herself what she can give and what she can do as well to show she cares for a man.

 

While I do think there are golddiggers out there, your average girl dating your average guy isn't a golddigger. Some women might take advantage of you for your money and if you really fear that then first dates should be low key and not expensive.

 

The fact that you are a woman does not in and of itself entitle you to any special treatment. You are not entitled to having your dinners paid for you by a man any more than he would be entitled to have you pay for his.

 

I will remember that when my future boyfriend would like a no strings attached bj..meaning that I just give if from the kindness of my heart without expecting anything in return. Or when he wants us to watch the football game together even if I am not that interested. Or when he'd like a home cooked meal that maybe his mom use to always make him. The fact that he is a man does not in it self entitle him to any special treatment darnit! He is not entitled to have me cook dinners for him (with money I spent on groceries) just as he isn't entitled to cook dinner for me!

 

Lucky for you that there are women that are happy to pay for themselves on a date. And you would be best finding this kind of women. But don't condemn the women that require a different kind of partner. Just look for women that best fit into what kind of relationships you want to conduct.

[stillafool]

Guys, does it count if the woman cooks you a nice meal?

[carhill]

Count in what way? I personally see such efforts as having great value; equally as valuable as when I plan a meal, dress a table and engage a lady in my own home. I understand the time and care and money it takes to do that. Good show