Was called a mean bitch the other day just because I have high standards.

[123321]

Why does every guy think that if a woman wants a man with money, that she ONLY wants the money and nothing else?

 

Every guy doesn't think that, only the ones who can't measure up financially.

[amymarieca]

I think thats the problem with you men. Youre just stupid.

 

Equality doesnt mean u split up everything half and half, it means u split up the responsibilities so each carries half the weight. For many people that means the man works and brings home the bacon, and the women take care of the place and cook it, and kids if thats a lifestyle they want.

 

Right, everyone is entitled to have their own preference, but what I find really tacky of you is that come on here and criticize everyone else for not agreeing with your standards. People have different ideas of what is equal. If you are so unimpressed with the men here then move back to Russia. I'm not even from the US and I find it really disrespectful when you speak so lowly of another country. Lose the nasty attitude. You just called men stupid and now you wonder why someone called you a bitch on a date. Maybe that's why???

[mortensorchid]

First this was kind of an odd conversation to have at a first meeting. I assume you had known at least a little about each other before this get together? But that aside ...

 

That was very mean of him to call you a shallow bitch, no matter what you answered to his questions. I would not pursue this any further if I were you, because it seems that nothing you could do or say will make him happy.

[Mme. Chaucer]

OP, there are some serious disconnects showing.

 

For example, there is a BIG difference between requiring a man who "can financially support" you, as you state in your first post, and one who is able and willing to pay for a date, or dates, with you.

 

There is a GIANT leap between a man who spends his last penny getting drunk on beer and a man who can financially support you or himself, for that matter.

 

I don't think it's okay for your date to call you a name like "bitch" because you revealed yourself to him. But, from the way you post here, I suspect that couched in your explanation of what you require in a man (that he spend all of his time, money and attention on you, while you cook, clean the apartment and have sex in return) some pointed jabs at the guy you were with about why and how he didn't measure up.

 

Newsflash, frustratedstandards:

 

Maybe in your particular Russian village, men still want to pay for everything in return for cooking, cleaning and sex, with no children in the mix. It's not the case in the rest of Europe, among most of the people I know, anyway. It's not the case among educated people in South and Central America, either. It IS the case among some sects of religious fundamentalists here in the USA. Maybe you can find them. You might be required to share the man with a few other wives and wear atrocious outfits, but that shouldn't be too much to ask.

[LynnieBear]

I don't care if a man is poor, but I am old fashioned and I want to be the one to stay home with kids whenever I have them, and my main goal right now is to be a house wife. This means being supported by my guy, it doesn't mean I want him to buy me diamonds... although, a ring is required before we sleep together... and I don't just mean the ring, I also mean walking down the aisle.

 

So.. I completely understand where you are coming from. I told the guy I like that I wanted this and he told me that if we were together he'd tell me to quit being lazy and get a job.

 

On top of wanting to be a house wife for the rest of my life, as in, that's my biggest dream in life, I also have a disorder that makes it difficult for me to work and am on SSDI, so what he said to me was way out of line no matter how you look at it.

[LynnieBear]

I skimmed through the above comment and realized you are not from the US and I just have to say, I am from the US, was born and raised here, and have the same values as you do.

 

Quite frankly, the US is supposed to have the same morals. We are a society and nation that was founded by Christians. But we are a free country and we don't put people in jail for being... un-Christian-like.

 

Thank God we also don't put Christians in jail.

 

That's all I'm gonna say about it.

[FrustratedStandards]

If you don't believe why do you want a man? Do you just want to use a man as a walking wallet?

 

Just because you don't love someone doesn't mean you don't appreciate their company. And besides, you want to share many things with someone, even if you don't love them. You ever have those days when you get great news but not one to share it with? So you just call up a friend and let them know?

 

Well eventually all your friends will settle down and make their own lives, and will be too busy for you. I don't want to end up alone, besides, I really enjoy a man's company.

 

Frustrated, did I miss where you explained what, exactly, the man gets from you in this "arrangement"?

 

You don't believe in love, so he's not getting a loving partner (I guess you could fake this though )

You cook and clean, but...why does he need you to do that? It would be more economical for him to hire a maid (a maid doesn't require 10k per month).

 

I guess you would have sex with him?

 

Still, it'd be cheaper to get a maid and a prostitute.

 

What do you have to offer in exchange for a man supporting your 10k per month lifestyle?

 

Whatever the man needs. Just because I want a man with money doesn't mean i'm going to use him for that, be unfaithful, cheat, run around with a bunch of guys and spend my nights at bars.

 

I follow all the relationship rules. I'm there for them, I support them in their goals and struggles etc. What's wrong with wanting a man who is already well established?

 

People tell me "well its not fair if you don't love him". Well i'm sorry if love doesn't exist, and it IS fair if i'm doing everything right, being emotionally supportive etc.

 

You mentioned nothing about wanting love, trust or committment in a marriage. You are the reason half of all marriages end in divorce.

 

Who said anything about trust or commitment? I thought these were implicit in a relationship?

 

And I already said I don't want any of that married BS. If I REALLY was a golddigger, I would marry a rich man, then divorce him and take half of his estate.

 

But all I want is a man to pay for the f*cking dates. He can dump me anytime he wants. That's not the issue. The issue is finding such a man to begin with.

 

I agree with you a lot...

 

Oh the poor guy with not a lot of money, but a lot of lovin type....pffftttt

 

Comes a point when a man wants a woman, get a real job, take her out on the town and be a man. Screw the "I should be able to work at Mcdonalds and you still should appreciate that I appreciate a relationship more than men with money" Ahhhh pfffttttt:rolleyes:

 

I understand you.

 

I don't know if that was sarcasm or not, but the same can apply to a woman. Why do men have a problem dating strippers? I mean it shouldn't matter where you work right?

 

It's not like a man wants a woman with a decent, well paying job in a professional environment where she has prestige.

 

Every guy doesn't think that, only the ones who can't measure up financially.

 

Exactly.

 

Right, everyone is entitled to have their own preference, but what I find really tacky of you is that come on here and criticize everyone else for not agreeing with your standards. People have different ideas of what is equal. If you are so unimpressed with the men here then move back to Russia. I'm not even from the US and I find it really disrespectful when you speak so lowly of another country. Lose the nasty attitude. You just called men stupid and now you wonder why someone called you a bitch on a date. Maybe that's why???

 

I was attacked and called a golddigger, and that ticked me off. And for the record, in the next coming years I am going back for a few years. I can't wait to be around normal men.

 

So you are equating rich men with beautiful women...yet you don't want a man who is rich...you want a man who is rich and good looking. So what about men then? Should they also go for women who are both beautiful and wealthy? That kind of leaves aspiring housewives like yourself out of the picture, doesn't it?

 

Not at all. If a man wants a rich and wealthy woman, i'm already half way there. So no problem there.

 

If a man wants a woman who is a chef, bring on the cooking books! Like you guys don't get it. You complain that i'm asking for too much, when I am willing to do so much more to please my man. And all it requires is that he pays.

 

Thats a great exchange. I guess you will never know since your women will be too tired from working all day to make you a nice, gourmet dinner followed by a great sex show before bed in the new lingerie she went shopping for.

 

Oh well

[FrustratedStandards]

So.. I completely understand where you are coming from. I told the guy I like that I wanted this and he told me that if we were together he'd tell me to quit being lazy and get a job.

 

He said that? hahahah I hope you walked out on him right then and there, what an a**hole.

[musemaj11]

This thread has turned into a joke.

 

I dont know if FS is trolling or not.

 

But if she is serious, provided she is as hot as she claims to be, she should consider becoming a playboy playmate. That way she will increase her chance of landing an 80 year old millionaire. Or she can always join a Millionaire Matchmaking.

[veggirl]

Frustrated-- you said you will be emotionally supportive etc. That's great. Do you expect the man to be as well? Cause so far, all you have to do is cook/clean (which again, a maid would be cheaper than your 10k per month), "be there" for him, and be pretty.

[musemaj11]

And it was him that offered to take me out to dinner. I didn't expect it! Of coures he wouldn't mind if I brought him dinner. I would be doing something NICE for him. The only difference in this comparison is that you have no qualms about a woman doing something nice for a man but godforbid a man do something nice for a woman because if he does apparently he is a chump in the eyes of some of the guys here.

I believe the asker regardless the gender should pay for the guest on the first date. Thats the polite thing to do.

 

But are we only talking about the very first date? It sounds like you ladies are talking about dates in general meaning all dates.

[xxoo]

I dont believe in love, nor have i ever been in love. So that kind of discounts your first question. As for the second, yes, i find him less appealing.

 

Do you expect fidelity?

 

I am beginning to understand why you are frustrated, and you will likely continue to be. I don't think many American men with that kind of income would be hurrying to commit to and support a woman who does not love him. If you don't expect fidelity (he gets the image of married, the comfy home life, but not the monogamous confines), then maybe. Otherwise...men in this income bracket have a lot of options with women. Why would he want this???

[FrustratedStandards]

This thread has turned into a joke.

 

I dont know if FS is trolling or not.

 

But if she is serious, provided she is as hot as she claims to be, she should consider becoming a playboy playmate. That way she will increase her chance of landing an 80 year old millionaire. Or she can always join a Millionaire Matchmaking.

 

If I can make money otherwise, why would I resort to that? Not my ideal profession

 

Halfway where? You said you want a rich guy so that you could quit your job and be a housewife. If you were independently wealthy, you could become housewife and live off investment interest (and would not need a sugar daddy). But obviously you are nowhere close to being independently wealthy. Nor do you make anywhere close to 10K a month (who are you kidding!) unless, of course, you are a member of the 'ancient profession'.

 

 

lol obviously you don't know what I am capable of, if you did you would understand why I want a man like this

 

And who said I want to quit my job? I love my job, it's my life. I have worked so many years to get where I am, but that doesn't mean I should pay for half of everything.

 

Again its not about the money, its about a man who WANTS to be to be a gentlemen. It's the concept, the principle.

 

Of course you guys only see $$$ and automatically accuse me of being a golddigger. If that's where your minds are at, then I shouldn't be surprised that you don't understand the concept itself, or what i'm trying to get at.

Edited October 5, 2011 by FrustratedStandards

[musemaj11]

lol obviously you don't know what I am capable of, if you did you would understand why I want a man like this

 

And who said I want to quit my job? I love my job, it's my life. I have worked so many years to get where I am, but that doesn't mean I should pay for half of everything.

 

Again its not about the money, its about a man who WANTS to be to be a gentlemen. It's the concept, the principle.

 

Of course you guys only see $$$ and automatically accuse me of being a golddigger. If that's where your minds are at, then I shouldn't be surprised that you don't understand the concept itself, or what i'm trying to get at.

How are you going to be a devoted housewife if you are going to work outside the house also then?

[FrustratedStandards]

How are you going to be a devoted housewife if you are going to work outside the house also then?

 

I work from home. I leave on occassion to go to certain events or meetings, but I basically work from work.

[LynnieBear]

Yep, I think you were right on the money when you said the words "Culture Clash".

 

Here's the thing.

 

In many Western cultures, women have been fighting for decades now for "equality". The right to vote, the right to equal income. Equal power to that of men. Fair enough right?

 

Except, the flip side of this equality, is that men no longer see women as deserving of "special treatment", instead being conditioned to see them more as "equals".

 

I suspect you're used to a more traditional model, where the women stays at home, runs the house and raises the children. In exchange, the man provides.

 

That model has been on the decline now for a long time in the West. I grew up with both parents contributing equally to the house hold.. Both worked, both cleaned, cooked and took on their share of earning and domestic duties.

 

As a result, I expect an equal partner.. I'm not looking for a women to sit at home and be my personal servant. I'm also not looking for a mouth to feed.

 

Just differences in expectations. So, this isn't really a question of standards, so much as a question of "Can I adapt my expectations?". Because if you can't, I suspect you're going to wind up pretty frustrated.

 

Equality never meant for chivalry to fly out the door, and personally, I don't care to vote or have equal pay. I am not one of those women that would have been fighting for it.

 

I would be fighting to be a house wife.

[LynnieBear]

I'm American, and every guy I've ever dated paid for more than I did. Some of them paid significantly more or almost everything (and some would have paid 100% if I had let them). So this is what I'm used to.

 

I won't lie. I like it much better when the guy pays. I'm progressive on a rational level, but on an emotional level, my feelings are aroused more strongly when there's more of a traditional courtship going on. When the guy wants to "protect" and "take care" of me, I get meltier, girlier, and more excited about him being my man. I can't help it.

 

Maybe it's human nature, maybe it's socialization. But it feels pretty strong and ingrained.

 

The few limited times it's been more 50/50, I feel more bland toward him, no matter what else he is doing.

 

It's the difference between the sexes. It will never change no matter what anyone says. Except in rare instances where the woman might be a lesbian or something, then they can figure out who pays, but between men and women and straight couples, the man is still supposed to be seen as the "supporter", "provider", "protector", and the woman the "nurturer", "home maker", etc.

 

I have no problem with it this way. In fact, that's what I yearn for.

[LynnieBear]

I have to agree with the bolded. I feel the same way and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm "getting something for free" or anything like that. (In fact I do insist on paying quite frequently.) It's the energy dynamic underneath it.

 

I never had that in my marriage... we were like team-mates, equals, paid equally when we could, etc. The basis of our relationship was like a very strong "friendship." My relationship with my BF is so very different. The dynamics are not "equals" or a "team" but more like we are taking care of each other. I have this ongoing fantasy that I would love to nurture him... pamper, cook and clean for him... which I never felt in my marriage.

 

It's strange that it's taken me so long to figure out that this "protectiveness" etc. really floats my boat.

 

It's virile. It's the difference between masculine and feminine, and yes, there is a difference.

 

It's attractive and makes a man look strong. It doesn't make a woman look "weak" either, even though technically the women are the weaker sex.

 

You take care of each other in your own unique ways.

 

And this all goes back to the bible and when God created Adam and Eve. (Not getting out my bible because I'm lazy)

 

But Eve was made from Adam's rib bone from underneath his arm "to protect her". Eve was made for Adam as a companion.

 

It was Eve who took the forbidden fruit from the tree in the Garden of Eden and gave it to Adam. In return, Eve received a punishment of having to bear children with great pain. Also, while she will long for her husband, he will also be her "master". Adam's punishment for taking the fruit from Eve, was that he will have to work in the lands forever and ever.

 

It's not exactly stated like this, but that is just an excerpt from Genesis. If you look at how human beings function, this makes sense that it is this way.

 

Women are easily led astray. This is why men are supposed to set an example, they are supposed to be "kings" of their "territory". They are supposed to lead, not the other way around. (I think if anything, maybe American men weren't being very good leaders, so women had to take over).

 

Men in particular are much more visual. They are better at things like sports for example. They are definitely "doers". It is very rare that a woman can beat a man at anything, really. That's still true to this day. They would have a much easier time learning certain, if not most, jobs than women.

 

Women... handle pain better. If men had to have babies, population would cease to exist.

 

Somehow, over the decades, women have decided to take it upon themselves to take up not only our own punishment from way back in the Garden of Eden, but men's as well.

 

this is kind of also not entirely our choice.

 

World War II played a big part in this, where women had to take a lot of men's jobs while they were off at war.

 

But that's another thing women have started to go after and want "equality" in.

 

Call me a chicken if you must, but I don't want to be in any war, ever. I don't want men to be in any war,ever, but some things are necessary, whether we understand why they are necessary or not.

 

So... personally, I'm an American woman and I think my fellow American women are...

 

nuts.

 

To be blunt.

 

(UNLESS.... again... Men weren't being very good leaders and women had to take over because there were no decent men to follow).

 

That's the only way I can come to terms with it, or understand it.

[mesmerized]

It's the difference between the sexes. It will never change no matter what anyone says. Except in rare instances where the woman might be a lesbian or something, then they can figure out who pays, but between men and women and straight couples, the man is still supposed to be seen as the "supporter", "provider", "protector", and the woman the "nurturer", "home maker", etc.

 

I have no problem with it this way. In fact, that's what I yearn for.

 

Speak for yourself. I'm a straight woman and I have no desire to be a "nurturer" and a "homemaker". If you make money and always expect a man to pay, you're not worth having a relationship with imo. And if you were actually "nurtruing" and not a "golddigger", you would love treating your man to something good with your own money once in a while.

 

All of that being said, men are asking for these kind of women by wanting the hottest youngest thing they see. Ofcourse that hot young thing haven't had enough time to make as much money as you did nor has she had to, so you have to pay!...What makes men think they should be able to have all the good things without paying any price for it is beyond me. So does it when it comes to women.

[LynnieBear]

He said that? hahahah I hope you walked out on him right then and there, what an a**hole.

 

No FrustratedStandards, we are still friends. We have never been exclusive or even on a date (thought I would disagree with this), we are just friends because we have very different views.

 

I believe in gender roles and traditionalism and I want to fall in love and find my soul mate. He believes in screwing anything that moves.

 

Okay seriously...

 

No, seriously.

[LynnieBear]

Speak for yourself. I'm a straight woman and I have no desire to be a "nurturer" and a "homemaker". If you make money and always expect a man to pay, you're not worth having a relationship with imo. And if you were actually "nurtruing" and not a "golddigger", you would love treating your man to something good with your own money once in a while.

 

All of that being said, men are asking for these kind of women by wanting the hottest youngest thing they see. Ofcourse that hot young thing haven't had enough time to make as much money as you did nor has she had to, so you have to pay!...What makes men think they should be able to have all the good things without paying any price for it is beyond me. So does it when it comes to women.

 

Please read the other post I posted about the book of Genesis.

[Sanman]

It's the difference between the sexes. It will never change no matter what anyone says. Except in rare instances where the woman might be a lesbian or something, then they can figure out who pays, but between men and women and straight couples, the man is still supposed to be seen as the "supporter", "provider", "protector", and the woman the "nurturer", "home maker", etc.

 

I have no problem with it this way. In fact, that's what I yearn for.

 

Well, it is hard to go that way. With the influx of women into the workforce, competition for jobs and prices of goods, houses, etc. went into flux. It would be difficult to most families to survive on a single income, especially here in the northeast. I couldn't imagine doing so and not shortchanging your children with regard to educational opportunities and such. Tis the modern way of life.

[mesmerized]

Please read the other post I posted about the book of Genesis.

 

I hate to say it, but the fact that you believe in the Adam and eve story automatically discredits a lot of the stuff you believe or say for me. Your ability to reason logically is questionable for me just because of that.

 

In short, I couldn't care less about the book of genesis.

[musemaj11]

I believe in gender roles and traditionalism and I want to fall in love and find my soul mate. He believes in screwing anything that moves.

Women want men with a lot of money, men want a lot of women.

 

So it goes both ways.

 

If its the biological imperative of women to be gold diggers, then we also have to accept that its the biological imperative of men to be philanderers.

Edited October 5, 2011 by musemaj11

[Emilia]

 

Women are easily led astray. This is why men are supposed to set an example, they are supposed to be "kings" of their "territory". They are supposed to lead, not the other way around. (I think if anything, maybe American men weren't being very good leaders, so women had to take over).

 

Men in particular are much more visual. They are better at things like sports for example. They are definitely "doers". It is very rare that a woman can beat a man at anything, really. That's still true to this day. They would have a much easier time learning certain, if not most, jobs than women.

Women... handle pain better. If men had to have babies, population would cease to exist.

 

Somehow, over the decades, women have decided to take it upon themselves to take up not only our own punishment from way back in the Garden of Eden, but men's as well.

 

this is kind of also not entirely our choice.

 

World War II played a big part in this, where women had to take a lot of men's jobs while they were off at war.

 

But that's another thing women have started to go after and want "equality" in.

 

 

Can't decide whether you are just lazy or backward