Was called a mean bitch the other day just because I have high standards.

[musemaj11]

I think it's because maybe they weren't being specific and many men just took it to the extreme.

 

I'll use a true analogy to give you an idea of what it feels like.

 

My mother once made a known Peruvian plate. It was good but there was very little meat and it didn't really stuffed us. So we told her about it.

 

The next time she made the dish again, she overdid it and put too much meat that we could hardly stand up.

 

See what I mean... you have to find the middle point.. don't go to extreme. Just because they fought for equality (yes equal job opportunities, voting rights, the right to choose a career and so on) doesn't mean the man has to do to the extreme of treating her as if she's another man or his one of his buddies.

 

Another example: Don't get too close because you'll burn yourself but not too far because you'll freeze. Just stay in the middle.

Equality is equality.

 

If you want only men's opportunities without the responsibilities then you are not after equality. You are after greed.

 

Its unethical and unfair to demand equal pay and job opportunity as men in the workplace while at the same time demanding those same men to pay for your expenses outside the workplace.

[carhill]

I don't get the sense that they're 'demanding' anything, rather choosing men who align with what they 'want' and are 'attracted' to. There's a difference. We as men are free to choose who we pursue. If that's not them, it's not. Choices are really powerful things.

[azsinglegal]

chivalry is for women that care for their men. and believe me, its not dead.

 

so if its dead for you, then guess what?

 

Chivalry isn't dead to women who show men enough respect to deserve it.

[AD1980]

Chivalry isn't dead to women who show men enough respect to deserve it.

 

I think thats the key point people are missing.. we want to be chivalrous to women who deserve it..

 

Nobody is entitled to anything in life just for being a specific gender or specific anyhting... be the type of person that desrves that treatment dont just jump and down ands expect it because you have certain body parts while giving little in return..

[azsinglegal]

I think thats the key point people are missing.. we want to be chivalrous to women who deserve it..

 

Nobody is entitled to anything in life just for being a specific gender or specific anyhting... be the type of person that desrves that treatment dont just jump and down ands expect it because you have certain body parts while giving little in return..

 

The biggest thing I've learned (recently) in my 38 years of BAD dating is that men CRAVE respect. I hadn't realized how disrespectful I had been to my boyfriends in the past. Looking back...I cant' believe I did/said some of the things I did and thought it was OK.

 

The whole "treat people how you want to be treated" goes very far IMO. I wish I had realized this crap in my 20s instead of late 30s.

[singlelife]

We need more info. Did the woman have low standards prior and now she is trying to change? She would need to understand that it takes time ( longterm) for anyone to take your change seriously. Not just a month or two. If you dated everything moving before you can't say you have high standards. Just be sensible about how you present yourself. A lot of women want to push men away without thinking it through. Just sayin.

[nofool4u]

Chivalry isn't dead to women who show men enough respect to deserve it.

 

exactly my point.

 

but there are some foolish men out there that will exhibit chivalry to women that don't deserve it and are fooling themselves that the woman in question wants anything to do with them other than their money. Like Anna Nicole Smith.

[Woggle]

Chivalry isn't dead to women who show men enough respect to deserve it.

 

Very true. For most decent men when a woman treats us right we can't help but want to treat her like a queen. You get what you give.

[nofool4u]

I have no issue with a woman who expects to be taken care of financially

 

you don't have issue with a woman that EXPECTS this? I can see feeling it would be nice, but someone that expects this doesn't DESERVE it.

[LittleTiger]

Very true. For most decent men when a woman treats us right we can't help but want to treat her like a queen. You get what you give.

 

Very true. For most decent women, when a man treats us right, we can't help but want to treat him like a king. You get what you give.

[Woggle]

Very true. For most decent women, when a man treats us right, we can't help but want to treat him like a king. You get what you give.

 

It does go both ways.

[nofool4u]

Is that before or after you have bled a man dry and slept with someone else?

 

Now dont get LT confused with someone else here.

[Woggle]

Is that before or after you have bled a man dry and slept with someone else?

 

Put a sock in it.

[musemaj11]

I don't get the sense that they're 'demanding' anything, rather choosing men who align with what they 'want' and are 'attracted' to. There's a difference. We as men are free to choose who we pursue. If that's not them, it's not. Choices are really powerful things.

Perhaps 'demanding' is too strong a word to use. 'Expecting' is probably the more suitable word.

 

Also Im not saying having the cake and eating it too is something illegal to do. Im just saying that its an unethical and selfish act.

[carhill]

'I won't date any man who makes less than a million a year. I'm a trust fund baby and I deserve that kind of lifestyle from the man I'm with. Carhill, I hate to say it, but you're a pauper'

 

 

Is she unethical and selfish? Debatable. Rude? She's not wrong!

[123321]

A victoria's secret model or girl of equivalent looks wouldn't ever have to say such a thing: it's implied simply because of her appearance.

 

A girl who is not as physically attractive is not going to have the same leverage.

 

My guess is that OP is a bit older, not as attractive, or does not have a realistic understanding of her leverage/value in the dating market. Hence, the bitterness and frustration.

 

It's sort of illuminating how econ plays into so many aspects of life.

 

 

 

 

Well, let's see....5'9", 34E's, faithful as the day is long, dresses like a floosie, always hounding me for sex, can't cook to save her life, smokes like a chimney.

 

I'll get back to you

 

Yeah mixed bag, the smoking kick it out but you make a good point and with humor. Well played.

 

 

 

The biggest thing I've learned (recently) in my 38 years of BAD dating is that men CRAVE respect. I hadn't realized how disrespectful I had been to my boyfriends in the past. Looking back...I cant' believe I did/said some of the things I did and thought it was OK.

 

The Bible is an old book and a lot of people have little respect for it, but there is some tried and true wisdom inside, one nugget that is germane to your comment is that men are admonished to love their wife, and women are admonished to respect their husband. Apparently the writer was a keen observer of human nature.

 

 

 

you don't have issue with a woman that EXPECTS this? I can see feeling it would be nice, but someone that expects this doesn't DESERVE it.

 

If she also expects to carry her role, I have no issue at all and in fact, such a woman is emphatically worth it.

[Untouchable_Fire]

So automatically if I appreciate that a man can afford to pick up the tab, and I don't offer to pitch in, im a golddigger?

This will sound very bitter, but i'm sick of dating poor men who can't afford to take me out on one decent date. I don't know what it feels like to be taken care of, where a man can say "You know what, you spent so much time getting pretty, you look great, let me take you out and show you a good time".

I want to date a man with money because I want to know what that feels like to be the woman, to have a man take charge, take control, have everything figured out. I don't think thats shallow.

 

Bottom line... I don't see what you have to offer. Rich guys seem to have plenty of women already... what makes you so special?

 

Spending time looking pretty counts for NOTHING... most women put forth the same effort on a regular basis. I just don't see how you are so amazing that a guy should pay to talk to you.

[LittleTiger]

Put a sock in it.

 

Thanks Woggle - I really appreciate the 'gentlemanly' gesture.

 

I tend to deal with the trolls by just ignoring them!

[azsinglegal]

The Bible is an old book and a lot of people have little respect for it, but there is some tried and true wisdom inside, one nugget that is germane to your comment is that men are admonished to love their wife, and women are admonished to respect their husband. Apparently the writer was a keen observer of human nature.

 

 

I'm not Christian at all, but I did learn this from a book written by a pastor. It's a little heavy on the religion, but the main parts of it really helped me see the mistakes I was making with men. I try to be very aware of them now.

 

Book: Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

[nofool4u]

If she also expects to carry her role, I have no issue at all and in fact, such a woman is emphatically worth it.

 

But she doesn't expect to carry any role except the recipient. Have you been reading her tripe? She has respect for no man. She just wants to be taken care of financially. She isn't going to return the favor. She thinks just being with her is reward enough.

[nofool4u]

Thanks Woggle - I really appreciate the 'gentlemanly' gesture.

 

I tend to deal with the trolls by just ignoring them!

 

unless I'm mistaken, I don't think ruts comment was aimed at you. it was more of a joke about the OP I think.

[LittleTiger]

unless I'm mistaken, I don't think ruts comment was aimed at you. it was more of a joke about the OP I think.

 

I think ruts comment was probably intended as a dig at women in general but who knows. He quoted me above his 'dig' so it appeared to be aimed at me and Woggle was very chivalrous to respond as he did - whether it was in my defence or anyone elses.

[123321]

But she doesn't expect to carry any role except the recipient. Have you been reading her tripe? She has respect for no man. She just wants to be taken care of financially. She isn't going to return the favor. She thinks just being with her is reward enough.

 

Unless the OP is hot as Salma Hayek, age 23, she should learn to appreciate cats. Some women who want a traditional life are not like that and are willing to do their part if the man steps up and does his part, and those women are worth finding IMO.

[mem11363]

My W and I have that traditional thing you describe. Works very well for us. I totally agree that financial control does NOT mean financial control of HER. Everything is ours.

 

That said a successful high testosterone male is going to be far more interested in how well you tangle the sheets than in how perfectly you "make the bed".

 

Everything you said was consistent until the comment about Russian men and physical attraction. I can't easily tell the difference between the appearance of a "Caucasian" American and a Russian. Can you spot them before they speak? If so, how?

 

 

I am lol! My main obstacle in that is I don't find Russian men attractive (physically)... at ALL.

[Pompom]

It is somewhat shallow and I would pick a man who makes my heart skip a beat, not one who has all the money (I could work myself just fine).

 

But considering I have never ever had a boyfriend because of my big butt, I'm not sorry for your date.

 

It goes both ways. Men tend to be visually superficial and ignore woman with small or saggy boobs or overweight, women tend to expect their man to be their provider rahter than contributing some effort of their own to have a truly equal relationship.