Was called a mean bitch the other day just because I have high standards.

[Pierre]

I'm American, and every guy I've ever dated paid for more than I did. Some of them paid significantly more or almost everything (and some would have paid 100% if I had let them). So this is what I'm used to.

 

I won't lie. I like it much better when the guy pays. I'm progressive on a rational level, but on an emotional level, my feelings are aroused more strongly when there's more of a traditional courtship going on. When the guy wants to "protect" and "take care" of me, I get meltier, girlier, and more excited about him being my man. I can't help it.

 

Maybe it's human nature, maybe it's socialization. But it feels pretty strong and ingrained.

 

The few limited times it's been more 50/50, I feel more bland toward him, no matter what else he is doing.

 

Ruby, I enjoy taking charge and always pay for everything. For me that is part of being a man. I will always pay even if I am dating the wealthiest woman in the planet.

[D-Lish]

Why not get a job in a men's clothes store?

 

You just planted a seed I've never considered W.

I've spent so long in Women's wear- and I am tired of it.

 

I wouldn't go back to being a sales person- but I could look at being a District Manager for a men's store....

 

Good call.

[carhill]

Why not get a job in a men's clothes store?

That's how my mom met my dad around 60 years ago. He kept coming back and buying suits until she went out with him. They had a 'traditional' marriage and she chose to give up the 'work' she had done for 15 years to be a SAHM. It worked for them. Dad was no rich nor powerful man, just a smart guy in a suit. Me, I'm pretty much the same, except my 'suit' is different. I've called a few women 'bitches', but never for having high standards. Carry on, OP. Follow your path....good luck.

[ShannonMI]

I forgot I was in America. My bad. The men are different here.

 

I didn't walk out on him, but I don't want to see him again.

 

Dating profile? What dating profile?

 

And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them.

 

Right right. This is America. No chivalry. Different mentality. *sigh* why did I bother making a thread about this...

You want to be completely financially dependant on a man? You don't want to work at all? I mean, I can see why the guy was turned off by this. I wouldn't call you a bitch for it, but unless you are going to have children with this man, why should he support you? Just because you clean the house and make him dinner? Some men aren't going to go for that.

[Nexus One]

You just planted a seed I've never considered W.

I've spent so long in Women's wear- and I am tired of it.

 

I wouldn't go back to being a sales person- but I could look at being a District Manager for a men's store....

 

Good call.

 

Tip, consider the tailor business suit stores where they also sell suits with 5 buttons on the sleeves. Why? Because those are the suits wealthy guys shop for. It's all about the number of buttons on the sleeves! The more buttons, the more money.

 

Not that I think you're one of "those women" D-Lish, but that would be a great opportunity to meet wealthy men on a regular basis. However, you'd need to service the men in the shops themselves in order to get interaction time with them so that they can hit on you.

Edited October 2, 2011 by Nexus One

[KR10N]

I am lol! My main obstacle in that is I don't find Russian men attractive (physically)... at ALL.

:laugh:

[Hot Chick]

Krion, why is that funny?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

 

The only difference here is that lots of women measure a mans success by his wealth. Since many men aren't successful, they get very offended, because although they may have tons of other things to offer, if he doesn't have a stable income, his other good qualities don't matter anymore.

 

Thats why men gets so angry. If a guy wants big knockers then thats preference and taste. Am I gonna be offended because he has preferences? Hahaha of course not!

 

If a man measures beauty in breast size, then I would be ugly to many. And i'm fine with that. You can't expect to please everybody.

 

It depend how you define successful.

 

I think you need to fine tune your approach is all I am saying. I am not saying your desire for a provider is wrong. You just need to convey that point without turning off the gender you are interested in. Because even if you land that rich man that WANTS to be the provider, telling him on the first couple dates that what you are looking for is going to probably make him thing twice about your real interest in him, and naturally so. It's too much information too soon. Alot of men and women want children. But if you bring such a serious subject up on the first couple dates, it's too much preasure too soon. A man will easily set the tone of the kind of relationship he wants through his actions. And you will be able to pick up on these bits without tackily stating everything you want so directly. You can't talk to men you are newly dating like he was your girlfriend. And it kind of sounds like the conversation you were having was more of one between girlfriends then a new potential interest.

 

I would not be offended that a man that wanted big knockers in a woman. I would be offended that if we were on a date and he said this was a requirement. Usually people can make these assements on their own and figure what kind of person they are out with and who they want to be with based on their dates actions.

 

I hope this makes sense. I of course think that him calling you a name, despite your conversation was completely uncalled for and that it's a good idea to never see him again.

[samsungxoxo]

I think the problem was that you were too straight-forward about it and it's something you're really not suppose to say on a date.

 

Think about it: You can get a handsome old-fashioned chivalrous man (yes there are few nowadays but they do exist, nothing is impossible) without saying what you want.

 

But since you blurted it out, then yes off course he'll think you're a golddigger because that's how you are making it look like from his point of view.

 

BTW I do want a man with similar qualities to the ones you're referring too. Ok maybe not the ''supporting me financially'' because I got 3 bank accounts already, which I'm saving more money to have myself my own apartment but would like a man to take me out on a good restaurant with my favorite dishes... not go into the ''going cheap just to test me'' otherwise I'll ditch him right away.

 

But I'm I gonna say it? Nope, I wouldn't want to scare them away on a first date. Nothing wrong with what you want but don't say it.

[samsungxoxo]

How can a man take charge if he asks "hey do you have $20 bucks? i can't afford this". Or how can a man have everything figured out when he says "listen I can't afford to go to the movies with you, i'm broke and spent all my money on boozing up last night".

 

Yeah, what a man.

I would be on my way home sooo fast he'll probably be wondering why I didn't return. You're right on that one.. that is not a man but a loser.

If he can't even afford to at least take you to the movies or impress you a bit, then why even go on a date with you in the first place?

 

Then they must all be wondering why are many women rejecting them? Because they're doing what obviously wouldn't attract a woman in the first place.

[Pierre]

I would be on my way home sooo fast he'll probably be wondering why I didn't return. You're right on that one.. that is not a man but a loser.

If he can't even afford to at least take you to the movies or impress you a bit, then why even go on a date with you in the first place?

 

Then they must all be wondering why are many women rejecting them? Because they're doing what obviously wouldn't attract a woman in the first place.

 

I think these men are losers that simply take advantage of the liberalization of women.

[samsungxoxo]

I think these men are losers that simply take advantage of the liberalization of women.

Yes and sadly it seems they are increasing lately. Equal rights doesn't mean going to the extreme of ''being a cheap, jerk'' that doesn't value us.

I guess one day it'll get the point where, the man will say ''Say I forgot to tell you I have no money but can you pay me for the date''?

 

Or he might do what this one guy did (I once read a story about a girl's horrible date). He ask her out on a date, takes her to a nice restaurant but when they finished eating he tells her ''I'm broken by the way, blah, blah''. The girl in the story end up paying for both his and her plate. Talk about douche-bags. She was mad as hell and left right away after paying for that loser.

[Mangomonkey]

alright i only read the first page but i think thats all i need to read. Here's the thing OP. Men can't treat women like that. If we do. We get stepped on. Most of us learn it the hard way. I know i did. I used to be exactly the kind of man that loved treating his women right, and lavishly. I like being romantic. honestly its fun. But then these same women try to squeeze out as much money as possible while f##king the next guy. So why should we as men bother? Understand this.

 

By no means is the way your dates act your fault. Blame it on the ****ty women that came before you. Cause we learn that once we start wear our heart and wallet on our sleeve. It just get pooped on.

[dispatch3d]

Why would I be offended? If that's the kind of woman he wants then thats good! I don't have huge breasts, so if he told me thats what he wanted in a woman then I would understand that i'm not what he is looking for. We would have a good laugh and be on our way.

 

The only difference here is that lots of women measure a mans success by his wealth. Since many men aren't successful, they get very offended, because although they may have tons of other things to offer, if he doesn't have a stable income, his other good qualities don't matter anymore.

 

Thats why men gets so angry. If a guy wants big knockers then thats preference and taste. Am I gonna be offended because he has preferences? Hahaha of course not!

 

If a man measures beauty in breast size, then I would be ugly to many. And i'm fine with that. You can't expect to please everybody.

 

I'm sorry you feel this way. I agree there is more to life than breasts and money, and being shallow isn't very attractive in my opinion. Oh well hoes hummers ;-)

[red shoes]

I guess that's because in this country the women don't know how to cook or clean. They just buy frozen dinners, microwave it and call it a day.

 

I'm just very bitter today. I'm so sick of meeting ugly, unintelligent and unsophisticated or well-mannered people. That's why, whether I turn into a big bitch or not, I get the same results.

 

At least if i'm a big bitch, I don't lead any men on. Unless of course, they know what they're doing.

 

I share your sentiments. I'm on a online dating site and dating is hard. I don't seem to meet men that can talk intelligently with me. And the one that could turned out to be a player.

[FrustratedStandards]

Reading this thread makes me appreciate independent feminists who actually practice equality. For any man complaining about American woman just remember the grass is not always greener. I guess this is why the south and the more traditional parts of the country have the highest divorce rates.

 

It could be because it also has the highest marriage rates. Non-traditional thinkers, or feminists, tend to lean more towards the "not getting married" thing. That could be why.

 

Never make yourself financially dependent on a guy. That's playing with fire in my opinion. If things turn sour, then you need exit options as a woman, an income will provide you a quick exit from the relationship if necessary.

 

I don't think it's responsible thinking to make yourself financially dependent on a guy, especially not if you as a woman already have a child. Your child is nr1, always.

 

I don't want marriage or kids. And I don't want to be DEPENDANT on a man, I just want him to be ABLE to support me financially. What if I get sick? God forbid what if I get in a car accident? Who is going to take care of me if I'm half of the mortgage, bills, income etc... I want a man to be able to say "baby take all the time you need, get better, and don't worry about a THING I got this".

 

I think most women women would love to have a man cook for them in his naked butt wearing only an apron.

 

Then you eat. Then you get it on. Rrrrr.

 

That's great but then what about the woman? If the man makes the food and the money, what's left for the girl to do?

 

You are not shallow.

 

Money, power, and brains are very attractive to most women. A good provider is high on the list of most women in the world and it has nothing to do with being a gold digger.

 

Thank you Pierre. I need someone with your way of thinking

 

Ruby, I enjoy taking charge and always pay for everything. For me that is part of being a man. I will always pay even if I am dating the wealthiest woman in the planet.

 

So... are you single?

[FrustratedStandards]

That's how my mom met my dad around 60 years ago. He kept coming back and buying suits until she went out with him. They had a 'traditional' marriage and she chose to give up the 'work' she had done for 15 years to be a SAHM. It worked for them. Dad was no rich nor powerful man, just a smart guy in a suit. Me, I'm pretty much the same, except my 'suit' is different. I've called a few women 'bitches', but never for having high standards. Carry on, OP. Follow your path....good luck.

 

Thank you

 

And some posters were right. It didn't come out right.

[Eve]

Ruby, I enjoy taking charge and always pay for everything. For me that is part of being a man. I will always pay even if I am dating the wealthiest woman in the planet.

 

 

Loved this!

 

.. Romance is sexy!

 

Take care,

Eve x

[musemaj11]

I forgot I was in America. My bad. The men are different here.

 

I didn't walk out on him, but I don't want to see him again.

 

Dating profile? What dating profile?

 

And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them.

 

Right right. This is America. No chivalry. Different mentality. *sigh* why did I bother making a thread about this...

Lol, you are just one unrealistic, lazy woman.

 

I have been cleaning my own place, doing my own laundry and making my own food for for the past 11 years. It takes me no more than three hours to do all that over the weekend.

 

You are just hilarious. No where in the entire world not just America a man would want to put up with a woman with such 'parasitic' view like yours. Even if there is, they must be some really old rich men who wants a young hot arm candy just use them as a trophy woman and a sexual outlet. Men with options who have decent looks and make decent money wouldnt want to settle with a woman like you.

 

The only situation I would accept in which a woman staying at home while relying on a man financially is if she has plenty of children. Otherwise she is just taking free money for next to nothing work.

Edited October 2, 2011 by musemaj11

[fatalcharm]

And it's not shallow. When you bust your ass cleaning their entire place, doing their laundry and making sure there is a warm meal on the table for when they get home, they sure as hell be able to make up for the work and money I lost from staying home and doing all that for them...

 

I understand where you are coming from, I enjoy working and like to contribute financially in a relationship but one day I would like to have children and when that day comes, I would like to be a stay at home mum, at least while they are little and aren't at school yet. I want to be the main influence in their lives and yes, when they start going to school, I will probably get a part-time job during school hours.

 

I understand that I could fall in love with an amazing man, who isn't financially stable and if that happens, then maybe I will have to be the breadwinner for the family. However, I always have it in the back of my mind that I am looking for someone who is financially stable and could provide for a family.

 

I am not looking for someone to buy me diamonds or expensive clothes, they don't interest me. I am looking for someone who will be able to support my future children and give them a stable life. I want to be a stay at home mum, at least for a little while and if someone can support me through that, in turn I will make sure the house is cleaned every day, they have a good home-cooked meal on the table when they get home, I will do their washing, run errands for them and basically make a happy home for them.

 

If it turns out that both of us have to work to support the family, then that's what I will do but I am always on the lookout for someone who can provide and support this. Just because I have my eye out for someone financially secure, it doesn't mean that I am after a rich guy who will buy me lots of things. I'm not materialistic, but I do hope to meet someone who can support me for a few years as a stay at home mum, if I ever become a mother.

[Woggle]

More people might get married down south but at least the people who marry in the Northeast tend to make it last. That is much better. Either be serious about marriage or don't do it at all.

 

A woman is more than just a cook and a maid and a man is more than a wallet so without these roles there is still plenty to desire in the opposite sex.

 

If somebody gets sick and needs support then fine but a healthy person should pull their own weight.

[musemaj11]

I think the OP should consider pursuing a career as a housemaid. That way she can do what she loves the most while at the same time earning a living.

 

Also I dont understand why she is so angry with American culture.

 

When in Rome do like the Romans do.

 

What if I go to Russia and get upset because the women there won't spend a penny on a date? Thats just stupid.

Edited October 2, 2011 by musemaj11

[Eve]

I understand where you are coming from, I enjoy working and like to contribute financially in a relationship but one day I would like to have children and when that day comes, I would like to be a stay at home mum, at least while they are little and aren't at school yet. I want to be the main influence in their lives and yes, when they start going to school, I will probably get a part-time job during school hours.

 

I understand that I could fall in love with an amazing man, who isn't financially stable and if that happens, then maybe I will have to be the breadwinner for the family. However, I always have it in the back of my mind that I am looking for someone who is financially stable and could provide for a family.

 

I am not looking for someone to buy me diamonds or expensive clothes, they don't interest me. I am looking for someone who will be able to support my future children and give them a stable life. I want to be a stay at home mum, at least for a little while and if someone can support me through that, in turn I will make sure the house is cleaned every day, they have a good home-cooked meal on the table when they get home, I will do their washing, run errands for them and basically make a happy home for them.

 

If it turns out that both of us have to work to support the family, then that's what I will do but I am always on the lookout for someone who can provide and support this. Just because I have my eye out for someone financially secure, it doesn't mean that I am after a rich guy who will buy me lots of things. I'm not materialistic, but I do hope to meet someone who can support me for a few years as a stay at home mum, if I ever become a mother.

 

I liked the honesty of your post and I could relate to your points a lot, though I have (at times) been the main provider within my marriage.

 

Yeah, the OP does not want children or marriage but I see where you are coming from.

 

To me equality is about equally being heard, rather than being a means of detailing what a 50/50 relationship should look like.

 

Anyhow, I reckon much of what we think is probably down to conditioning. For example, my daughter seems to go for traditional type men over non traditonal types. Her current boyfriend is in many respects just like my Husband. Her boyfriend really takes care of her and cherishes her with flowers, chocolates, takes her to dinner, tells her she is beautiful, takes her shopping, the full deal. She loves his attention to detail.

 

She said that previously boys would go on about how 'fit' she is and it would be about how she made them look when she was with them.

 

At it's base, I see what you describe as essentially keeper vs non keeper behaviours.

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited October 2, 2011 by Eve

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Lol, you are just one unrealistic, lazy woman.

 

I have been cleaning my own place, doing my own laundry and making my own food for for the past 11 years. It takes me no more than three hours to do all that over the weekend.

 

You are just hilarious. No where in the entire world not just America a man would want to put up with a woman with such 'parasitic' view like yours. Even if there is, they must be some really old rich men who wants a young hot arm candy just use them as a trophy woman and a sexual outlet. Men with options who have decent looks and make decent money wouldnt want to settle with a woman like you.

 

The only situation I would accept in which a woman staying at home while relying on a man financially is if she has plenty of children. Otherwise she is just taking free money for next to nothing work.

 

Who cares what you accept and don't accept in a woman staying home. Her life choices don't have to be yours. But you don't get to put on airs that your life choices are better. They aren't. You aren't a better person then her just because she wants a different kind of man and relationship. And your attack on her is completely unreasonable and immature.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

My ex wife did not work and I had no issues with that. However, I am a bit old fashion.

 

Pierre, can I ask where your traditional style came from? You're own family life growing up? Is that how your parents raised you? Or was it more something you just came to learn you enjoyed? Also, are you American?