Was called a mean bitch the other day just because I have high standards.

[Woggle]

Limit? I didn't say he shouldn't or cant be other things. I simply said that financial stability should be one of his qualities.

 

You said that in your culture a man would be considered gay if he could cook or clean. You never said if you agree with it or not but that is a very limiting view.

[xxoo]

Am I wrong to generalize when 80% of the time it's true? And by cook I don't mean they know how to boil eggs or make pasta. My 10 year old nephew can do that.

 

Cooking I mean actual dishes.

 

Most of the American women I know can cook, even if they don't cook. It is a matter of time and priorities, not ability.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Am I wrong to generalize when 80% of the time it's true? And by cook I don't mean they know how to boil eggs or make pasta. My 10 year old nephew can do that.

 

Cooking I mean actual dishes.

 

I know exactly what you meant. Qualfying that by "cooking" you mean "actual dishes" is redundent and I suspect an attempt on your part to be condsending to a culture you don't have much respect for to begin with. I know so many good woman that work hard for their families and take pride in a clean home and good clean healthy meals.

 

I don't agree with the people that attacked you. But I also think your generalizations and percentages about the men and women in America are just as disrespectful as those people are being to you. You are stereotyping and generalizing and they are as well. And no one is enjoying it.

[KR10N]

Krion, why is that funny?

Russian men aren't attractive IMO. I was agreeing w/ FS.

[Imajerk17]

Well FrustratedStandards, here's the thing: If you said that to me, I would have listened politely. But then I wouldn't go out with you again.

 

The issue to me isn't whether or not I make enough for a girl like you. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. BUT I sure as hell don't want to be used for my income. I don't want to be liked by a girl for what I provide for her either. And I don't intend to put a girl on a pedestal, especially before she has earned it.

 

Are you wrong in wanting a guy who is successful? Of course you're not. Most women do. And we as guys get that, which is a reason why we work hard, and do things like clean our place, clean our cars, and dress nicely for a date. We love doing things for women that we are into, and the more we can do, the better. BUT we also want a woman to stand by us if/when things get tough. AND who won't leave us for another man, including a guy who has more money than we do.

 

The way you talked about what you are looking for would be like myself discussing on a date how I want a woman who is of a certain build who keeps herself in great shape because I prefer having sex with a tight young athletic body. Whether or not that describes you, how would that make you feel? I mean, you get already how we men are into looks. But I'm going to guess that you'd want a guy who could see past that and care about who you are on the inside too. You are probably looking for someone who would keep on loving you if you got cancer or if you had metabolism problems or when you get old and start sagging in certain places, no?

Edited October 2, 2011 by Imajerk17

[FrustratedStandards]

Well FrustratedStandards, here's the thing: If you said that to me, I would have listened politely. But then I wouldn't go out with you again.

 

The issue to me isn't whether or not I make enough for a girl like you. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. BUT I sure as hell don't want to be used for my income. I don't want to be liked by a girl for what I provide for her either. And I don't intend to put a girl on a pedestal, especially before she has earned it.

 

Are you wrong in wanting a guy who is successful? Of course you're not. Most women do. And we as guys get that, which is a reason why we work hard, and do things like clean our place, clean our cars, and dress nicely for a date. We love doing things for women that we are into, and the more we can do, the better. BUT we also want a woman to stand by us if/when things get tough. AND who won't leave us for another man, including a guy who has more money than we do.

 

The way you talked about what you are looking for would be like myself discussing on a date how I want a woman who is of a certain build who keeps herself in great shape because I prefer having sex with a tight young athletic body. Whether or not that describes you, how would that make you feel? I mean, you get already how we men are into looks. But I'm going to guess that you'd want a guy who could see past that and care about who you are on the inside too. You are probably looking for someone who would keep on loving you if you got cancer or if you had metabolism problems or when you get old and start sagging in certain places, no?

 

I don't understand. Men ask a girl out based on her attractiveness, THEN he gets to know her. So what's wrong with a woman basing her decision on a man's financial success?

 

Later we find out if any using is going on, but initially there is nothing wrong for looking for a man who is successful financially.

 

And if a great, fit body is that important to a man, then he should go look for a girl to whom it is important as well. I wouldn't be offended at all.

 

But remember, this is when LOOKING for a mate. When you look for someone, you look for these things. Obviously we all get old and disintegrate, and you have to accept that. Just like I can accept that a man can lose his job. YES. But the point is that he was able to have a good job and maintain it in the first place. He was ABLE to work his way up and make a career for himself.

 

Whether that particular job lasts or not doesn't matter, as long as I know he is CAPABLE of being financially stable and he exudes that.

Edited October 2, 2011 by FrustratedStandards

[mesmerized]

I guess that's because in this country the women don't know how to cook or clean. They just buy frozen dinners, microwave it and call it a day.

 

I'm just very bitter today. I'm so sick of meeting ugly, unintelligent and unsophisticated or well-mannered people. That's why, whether I turn into a big bitch or not, I get the same results.

 

At least if i'm a big bitch, I don't lead any men on. Unless of course, they know what they're doing.

 

yeah, because cooking and cleaning are the hardest tasks on this planet. It's time consuming sure, But don't act like you are a prize because you know how to cook and clean, lol!

 

It sounds like you want to be dumb and have a man take care of you. There are lots of men in this forum that seem to like that, maybe you can match up with one of them.

[phineas]

Your lack of confidence (I don't know why if you say you are all those things) is the reason (if i am assuming correctly) that you can't find a woman.

 

Don't blame women with specific lifestyles or wants, if the man who possesses those qualities doesn't have the balls to present himself to them.

 

No offence.

 

Yeah, I wasn't being serious. guess i need to find the sarcasm tag.

[veggirl]

Calling you a mean bitch was pretty out of line, but I can absolutely see why a man wouldn't be impressed by a woman who aspires to be a stay at home wife when there would be no children involved. People don't deserve kudos for doing what is expected of a normal human. cleaning and cooking is expected of normal humans.

[xxoo]

Whether that particular job lasts or not doesn't matter, as long as I know he is CAPABLE of being financially stable and he exudes that.

 

I agree with this 100%, but didn't really get that part from your previous posts.

 

Maybe you would have more luck if you worked on your approach when discussing this topic with potential mates. Bear in mind that a SMART man will be looking for a mate who is ready, willing, and able to do whatever is necessary to keep the family afloat if the need ever arises, even if he shares your traditional values.

[phineas]

Muse seems to have a special place of dislike in her heart for housewives. I'm just curious why. It's not just a dislike for wanting to be a housewife herself. Which is totally fine. It's preconceived judgements and assumptions that aren't based out of truth.

 

 

 

She was insulting I agree. She also said American women couldn't cook or clean too.

 

 

 

Your response isn't any more mature then hers was. And I doubt she has an interest in sniffing your boxres.

 

Hello...[taps microphone]....is this thing on?

You people need to take it down a notch on the "internet is important" dial & go buy a sense of humor.

 

Soo many people just looking to point the finger & shout "man/woman hater" it's sad really.

 

Let's talk serious, did you quote & call out the OP for the things she said? If not, why?

 

That is my point. You take muse to task for what he says but not OP?

it's a 10 page thread so I might of missed it.

 

If you just personally dislike Muse, that's fine. There are a few people here regardless of gender whose shtick i find tiresome.

I've learned to just ignore them because when challenged they usually flee the thread & start over. LOL!

[The Outlaw]

That's awful. I guess honesty isn't the best policy for some. Sad.

[veggirl]

That's awful. I guess honesty isn't the best policy for some. Sad.

 

Well, she was honest about her feelings, and apparently so was he.

[misssmartypants]

1) I don't understand wanting to be supported as an adult. What's up with that? If you want to be a stay at home mom someday, then that needs to be a discussion that comes up way down the road. I know couples where one works and the other stays home with the kids. Its a sacrifice for both of them and a goal they work on together. It certainly wasn't a case of him having cash and her wanting supported.

 

Anyway, I can see how he might have been put off.

 

2) But that does not excuse him calling you a name. Dating should be about meeting people and trying things out. I think you can cross eachother off your mutual lists.

[mesmerized]

I want to add that you weren't called that just because you have high standards, but probably also because you meet much lower standards yourself. I doubt he would think the same thing about you if you were actually a successful, wealthy woman yourself.

[CambridgeGirl]

Am I wrong to generalize when 80% of the time it's true? And by cook I don't mean they know how to boil eggs or make pasta. My 10 year old nephew can do that.

 

Cooking I mean actual dishes.

 

Now that is insulting, and I am not even American or anywhere near it. What makes you think all women who work cannot make complex multiple course dinners? I do, from organic only food, and I manage 5 teams across two countries. Oh and I clean my own home too.

[grkBoy]

I told him I wanted a man without kids, and one who can support me financially.

 

Why does every guy think that if a woman wants a man with money, that she ONLY wants the money and nothing else?

 

I think it's more in the delivery. I bolded your words...and the way you said it does make you look like a shallow bitch.

 

Frankly, I imagine this guy probably didn't have any kids, and I also imagine your standards are really that perhaps you want a family of your own and a man who can play the breadwinner while you play the happy homemaker. Am I right?

 

There's nothing wrong with that, but you should then frame things more in that you're seeking a long term partner and the love of your life. You want to have a traditional family down the road. If the guy can't handle that, then you're better off without him.

 

We men have been bred now to see a woman who says she wants "a man to financially support her" as a mooch or gold digger. We then wonder if she really loves us, or just wants a meal ticket.

 

A lot of all of this is marketing...and you need to send the right message. Saying you want to be a wife and mother with a wonderful man sounds way better than "I want a man who can financially support me".

 

You'll find out quickly enough anyway if the guy is capable of a task or if he's broke...without you even asking about it.

[Sanman]

Like I said, these are certain qualities I look for in a man. I want a man who is financially stable and can support me should anything happen. He is more than a wallet. But think about it, if a man is everything that is exceptional, except he is broke (because he is lazy or doesn't like to work, not for acceptable reasons) then he would still struggle getting a woman. He can be a great man, and probably would be, but because he struggles so much with finances, its a big turn off.

 

Which brings me to my next point. I think half of what a woman looks for is financial stability in a man, and the other half is the rest of the qualities we want in a guy. The weight is the same unfortunately.

 

You have a point. The thing is, I was brought here as a kid with my family. I had no choice in coming here, and if it was up to me, I might have stayed in Russian. My entire family is here, and my work is here (and I love my work more than anything else).

 

Although I have considered going back for a few years for that sole purpose, and I still might do that. But for work related reasons I can't do that right now.

 

But what if the woman makes more income? Is she the one to pay for all the dates? Men complain that they feel emasculated if a woman makes more, but then they also complain that they always pay for everything!

 

Those days? Im curious.... since your income is more now, does that make you more okay with dating women who are materialistic as opposed to before when you couldn't offer as much?

 

 

I'm glad you brought this up. And the truth is, he would have some finances saved up. Just because he makes all the money doesn't mean I have no idea about the bills or the banks accounts.

 

It's team work. Just because I do everything around the house and he makes the money, doesn't mean we don't communicate and know about each others lives. I would go to the hospital or clinic, make sure he is taken care of. Call his work, call the bank etc and do whatever I had to do make sure everything was okay. If he is a smart man (which is a necessity) then he would have money saved up in case of any emergency (has to flight out to see family, accidents, medicine, economy drop etc).

 

 

I have no problem with what you state you want. However, there are few things to point out. Forgive if they have already been addressed as I do not have time to read the whole thread. First, if you love your work so much, why do you want to give it up?

 

Second, the lifestyle you are asking for is, at this point in American History, relegated to the few highest percentiles in income. A good percent of those men prefer a partner with a career (I know I do and I will have the income to support a partner). So, while the household skills are certainly important, there are other skills necessary. Are you honestly very beautiful? I honestly can't see a man like this marry less than an 8 no matter his own looks. Can you host a dinner party properly? Impress his boss at the Christmas party? Do you know the politics of volunteering at charities and other social functions rich wives often attend? Much of this has to do with the social skills Grk Boy talks about above.

Edited October 2, 2011 by Sanman

[FrustratedStandards]

I want to add that you weren't called that just because you have high standards, but probably also because you meet much lower standards yourself. I doubt he would think the same thing about you if you were actually a successful, wealthy woman yourself.

 

But I AM successful and wealthy. Not wealthy as in RICH, but I have tons to spare. And I want a man who is more successful and has more to spare then myself.

 

I have no problem with what you state you want. However, there are few things to point out. Forgive if they have already been addressed as I do not have time to read the whole thread. First, if you love your work so much, why do you want to give it up?

 

Second, the lifestyle you are asking for is, at this point in American History, relegated to the few highest percentiles in income. A good percent of those men prefer a partner with a career (I know I do and I will have the income to support a partner). So, while the household skills are certainly important, there are other skills necessary. Are you honestly very beautiful? I honestly can't see a man like this marry less than an 8 no matter his own looks. Can you host a dinner party properly? Impress his boss at the Christmas party? Do you know the politics of volunteering at charities and other social functions rich wives often attend? Much of this has to do with the social skills Grk Boy talks about above.

 

Yes yes yes and yes! I can send you a picture of myself, and can have you rate me yourself. But this isn't about physicality. I HAVE hosted dinner parties, all by myself, for friends or for my birthday. I HAVE impressed bosses of my exes and they even got promotions months after!

 

I don't volunteer at charities, or other events that rich wives attend. I need to be a rich wife first

[350bro]

why don't you get a job and support yourself?

[mesmerized]

But I AM successful and wealthy. Not wealthy as in RICH, but I have tons to spare. And I want a man who is more successful and has more to spare then myself.

 

And how are you successful exactly?! Where does this money come from? Daddy or do you actually have a well paying job?

[Ruby Slippers]

I honestly can't see a man like this marry less than an 8 no matter his own looks.

Not true. I know of one couple that seems pretty happy with the man working full time and the woman raising their 2 kids. They're both probably a 5-6 on the looks scale, at best. And he's better looking. They've been married for 7 or 8 years, and seem stable and relatively happy.

[Pierre]

Not true. I know of one couple that seems pretty happy with the man working full time and the woman raising their 2 kids. They're both probably a 5-6 on the looks scale, at best. And he's better looking. They've been married for 7 or 8 years, and seem stable and relatively happy.

 

This is all about how much money the man makes. If a guy makes plenty of money there is no need for the wife to work. Unless the wife does not trust her husband and wants to make sure she has a career.

 

 

Some women think it is honorable to be a stay home mother.

[xxoo]

Not true. I know of one couple that seems pretty happy with the man working full time and the woman raising their 2 kids. They're both probably a 5-6 on the looks scale, at best. And he's better looking. They've been married for 7 or 8 years, and seem stable and relatively happy.

 

Only one? I know many. Probably because this has been the crowd I've run in for the last decade I know gorgeous couples, homely couples, and everything in between!

 

And not all the men make a lot of money. Some families are just really frugal, and make it work by doing without things that others consider "givens" (a second car, restaurant meals, fancy electronics, etc).

 

Which begs the question--what kind of lifestyle is the OP looking for a man to support?

[ptp]

I was on a date last night with this guy. We began talking about relationships and what we look for in a mate. Since we were being open and honest, I told him I wanted a man without kids, and one who can support me financially.

 

He called me a mean bitch and said that I am shallow for not considering a man who perhaps isn't wealthy, but has "lots of love". He said I only want a man for money. His best argument was "Men with money don't know how to love women. They just buy them diamonds and expensive things and think that's enough". He said that men without money are the better kind, because they aren't shallow.

 

I'm beginning to think that the only reason I ever questioned my standards was because every man I have ever met didn't meet them.

 

Why does every guy think that if a woman wants a man with money, that she ONLY wants the money and nothing else?

 

I wouldn't have called you names but, I would never want to date someone like you. If a girl said that to me I would think to myself, this type of woman would leave me if suddenly for some reason I didn't have money. I don't want to date someone like that.

 

My best relationship with a woman was when I was a student, didn't have much $ and we shared most of the costs.

 

It was stressful because I would always looking to stretch a dollar, but at least I knew she liked me for me.