Need Help With a Woman. Please!

[nickals]

Okay This could be a long story. so anyone that reads it thank you.

I started dating this girl in 2000. Fell in love with her at first sight. I was 19 she was 20. she was breaking up in relationship and my 1st love had just wanted to come back. So I was stuck I was with this girl I fell in love with at first sight who broke off her engagement ( that I did not know about) and my high school sweet heart wanted to get back with me. So I dated both for 8 month. my high school sweetie was in a different state so I did not see her as much. Eventually I chose LOVE at 1st sight, because I loved her. So in 2001 we broke up because I had been talking to my high school sweetie when me and her would fight. Anyway after a month of me just going out and drinking everyday we got back together (1st sight and I).

So we happy together then on new years of 2001 we got pissed off at each other and I left the party we were at. So basically I stop wanting to go out with to the clubs ( it was something we always did). One day I did something really stupid and we got in a fight. A day later we got into another big fight that was also my fault, but she did it in front of a family party. That really pissed me off for a month. Then one day we had plans, but she had a big test and was drained after it. Me being stupid pushed the issue.

Okay this is where something weird happened. The plans were to go to a baseball game. So I went w/ my best friend and we got drunk. She went to the club. Now I got all dressed to go to suprise her, but my friend past out and I could not leave him at my house because his live in girl whould have been pissed. SO I sat the think about how much I really loved the girl and wanted to marry her. Anyway that same night she met another man.

The next day I had to go to a friend's bachelor party and she did not want me to go at all. so she went out with this guy. A week later we broke up. This is june of 2002.

I did stupid things to try to win her back immediately. I realized I was so caught up in myself duriing our relationship that I have tried to correct that flaw. She broke up with the guy from the club a few months later and we would talk for a few days and then she would say she could not do it anymore. I would feel so weak that when I was around her I would just kiss up to her. We probable talked every month or so at least once until now.

She has been totally cruel to me since we have broken up. ON my birthday we went out, but before we went out she went out with another guy (her ex after me). Then on new year's of 2003 she called me all night and then went to his house. She has told me about everyone she has been with since we broke up. She said she was pregnant when we broke up and then told me she lied. the last time I say her she called me and asked me to a movie only to tell me she had broken up with her boyfriend early in the day(this was in the beginning of april).

I still love her and think about her everyday thinking she will call. Before I was the one that called her. I can control that now, but not the thoughts of her.

She is not the same. She was insecure, beautiful and intelligent.she use to start fight with me over anything. women on t.v. or me being sarcastic. some where my fault. Now she reminds me of me when we were dating. She is really into herself. She says I lowered her self-esteem because she thought I was beautiful and smart than her (she has a master in neuroliogy).

I am good looking and did not date for 6 month after we broke up. then I started dating and the women I did like I became to clingy. Now I have not dated for a 8 months. Part of it is I hated my job which in turn lowered my confidence also I go out as much because I am broke and the place I do go I don't see women my type.

Is the any hope for me. I don't know if it is because I am lonely or if I still love her. I looked at picture and recent found (by mistake) letters she wrote. I don't know what to do. it has been two years and I still miss her. I have not felt like myself since she left. and when I have been with her my stomach literally knots up and I act timid.

Can anyone that read all this please help.

[moimeme]

She is not good to you. She is not good for you. She never was. You deserve someon who will be good to you.

 

Work on forgetting this one and find yourself a good woman.

[Bobbie]

Now I have not dated for a 8 months. Part of it is I hated my job which in turn lowered my confidence also I go out as much because I am broke and the place I do go I don't see women my type.

Is the any hope for me.

 

sounds like you're just not ready for relationships yet.

 

Loneliness isn't the unbearable trauma we often make it into, be patient and work through your grief and sort out your other life issues.

 

As a woman that you write this would be a big red flag ( to quote rick ) to me:

 

She is not the same. She was insecure, beautiful and intelligent.she use to start fight with me over anything. women on t.v. or me being sarcastic. some where my fault. Now she reminds me of me when we were dating. She is really into herself.

 

when you have good self-esteem yourself, you'll really like a woman who is into herself and not insecure.

 

Your sarcasm is your responsibility.

 

You say you're good-looking, often you pretty guys get messed-up because women fancy you anyway however you behave, and you don't get to learn how women think or feel or what is a respectful way to behave.

 

Sure there's hope for you. Live and learn, baby!

[Bobbie]

<my friend past out and I could not leave him >

 

I like you stayed with him, good call.

[nickals]

Now check this out. She called last night and we hung out. Very strange. I had an alright time, but just some of the thing she would say would get to me. First of all I did not have a knot in my stomach and I was myself not trying to kiss up. Anyway she said when "I broke up with you" or "I had enough of seeing you" in just general conversation but the where emphasized in my hearing like when sometypes and put key words in all caps. Anyway, the second one really bothered my because we were talking on the phone and she wanted to borrow some of my movies and I talked about us watching them together. I guess she thought I meant tonight when I knew she was busy with other things. so I don't know why she had to state it like that. Anyway I just taking it how it is. She did sleep over and she sleep in my arms all night. No sex or anything.

 

I do agree with all those who replied. I do not think she is good for me in someway, but I still have that image of who she was when I fell in love with her and still picture her that way. She has gotten very cold since as she says she broke up with me. I do not know if it just directed towardsme or what?

Also my last work environment was nothing but sarcasm. That what we did also joked on each other sarcastically.

 

Bobbie, I agree with what you say about pretty boys having things their way, because I tend to get things my way. But after me and her broke up the women that I dated I did listen to and get to know, and did little things for them that I never did for either of my 1st two loves. Also, I very mature for my age. I am 24 and every thing I focus on now is for my family now and in the future. I don't do the immature stuff I did even two years ago. This break up with her and the aftermath definitely humbled me. Not depressed me, but made me realize you have to give in sometimes.

 

Also since I wrote the 1st post I felt a lot better and then she called, but I still feel good. I actually feel in control of myself this time when we talk.

 

Thanks Bobbie and Moimeme for replying.