what do you think i should do about this situation? pursue my friends ex or not?

[R_E_D_needsadvice]

alright ill try to explain some general information the best i can and hope i dont confuse you!

my best friends ex girlfriend (we'll call her mary) and my best friend (we'll call him george) well george and mary dated for 2 years i think and broke up 16 months ago. but george and i never really become best friends until about 12 months ago. so i never met her or talked to her.

the reason why they broke up is because he claimed that she was a big b*tch and she found out that he cheated on her. well she started dating someone else within a months time of there break up and he became furious. they would always flip each other off as they passed each other on the road and even try to run each other of the road. well he moved on thru two other relationships and she broke up with her boyfriend this past march. well george and mary made up became sex partners for about 3 weeks (he said that was all he wanted) but she talked about getting back together during that time. for some odd reason he thought she was going out with other guys and he ended everything with her and will not talk to her at all and says he dont care about her. as of yesterday he has somewhat of an interest with another girl now. but he doesnt want to date her. only as a sex partner. i even asked him last night that why dont he just call up mary but i dont know if he was joking or not, but he said you can (with a little chuckle).

ok now this is the part where i come in. a few weeks after their last seperation i seen mary at a tanning business and decided to break the ice with her (she would always look at me but never smiled or waved or talked, just looked and she always had a real serious look) so i asked her if she has talked to george lately. she replied not really, and we made a small conversation about george until she had to leave. about 2 weeks ago i was at george's house and we decided to go cruise town. on the way out of his neighborhood we past mary (she lives about 100yards away from george). i noticed her brake lights came on but didnt think anything about it. next thing i know she turned around and flashed her lights to flag me down. george told me not to stop but i did anyways. she pulled up next to me and said hey. then i guess she seen someone in the passenger seat and asked if george was with me. she asked a few questions like where we were going and stuff. george ended the little convo. and told her that we needed to go. i would pass her everyonce in a while when i left george's house and started noticing that she would always wave at me so of course i waved back. well today i was at the same tanning business and was talking to my neighbor outside. i noticed her pulling up and walking towards the door with her friend. she kept looking at me and i noticed her smile and wave with excitement. (now remember all the times when i would see her she always has a real serious look to her and never says anything) i guess they didnt have any open tanning beds this evening so they came back outside. i noticed her looking at me frequently until she entered the vehicle. i couldnt see in the vehicle but i kept looking and would give a smile.

now my question is what do you think i should do about this situation?

A) should i have respect for my friend and not pursue his ex. for whom he once had serious feelings about.

B) pursue her, become friends and see if it goes further.

[bluechocolate]

It entirely depends upon how much you value your friendship with George vs. a girl you don't really know.

 

I would also advise caution as to her intentions in this matter. Can you be sure she isn't looking to hurt her ex by taking his friend away from him? There are plenty of other girls out there. Try finding one that doesn't come with this kind of baggage, you'll all be happier for it.

[Pyrannaste]

I second bluechocolate in suggesting caution.

But if you are really attracted to her, and would consider risking to end up hurt trying to pursue a girl

- who might still have feelings for your best friend

- who might just be playing you around, or trying to use you to hurt her ex

- who cheated in the past,

 

then I'd ask your friend 'george' if he would mind if you tried to get to know her better.

He might be okay with you pursuing this girl, o9r he might be NOT okay at all. In the latter case, you will have to decide if it is worth it, since you'll be adding "blowing up a friendship" to the list of possible risks you are facing.

[R_E_D_needsadvice]

thank you for the advice! i dont plan on pursuing her anymore. shes not worth losing my friendship with george. i guess it was just the excitement of having someone act interested in me.