musemaj11 Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Personally I know only a few housewives. Most women these days are career women regardless they have kids or not. And those few housewives that I know have at least one kid and unless they have a small kid or have plenty of kids, their lives are practically so easy and stress-free. Their busy hours are only a few hours around breakfast time and around dinner time. While for the rest of the day at the most they just do some small errands at their own pace. So I really cant imagine how life is for a housewife who doesnt even have a single child. Life must be a bliss for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 It is not bliss. At least not for me. I don't do much at all. I am used to working, but am unable to due to my visa status at the moment. I left my job in Sydney early June and have wished every day since that I could go back to work here. Hopefully won't be much longer. All those things that you do while not at work/out with friends, imagine having them to fill your time when you have those extra 8 hours each day. Not so thrilling. And not blissful at all. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I'd go insane without work. In one of my previous jobs I had a month off between semesters every January and it drove me nuts after about a week (there was nothing to do where I lived either). Right now I'm so over worked that I'd kill for a month off, but anything more than that would drive me bonkers. Like CE I've been in shorter periods of time like that involuntarily and I hated it every time. Hope it works out for you soon, CE. I personally haven't met anyone who actually likes having very little to do over a prolonged period of time, apart from a couple of drugged up beach bums that I've come across on my travels. Link to post Share on other sites
fatalcharm Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 ...And those few housewives that I know have at least one kid and unless they have a small kid or have plenty of kids, their lives are practically so easy and stress-free. Their busy hours are only a few hours around breakfast time and around dinner time. While for the rest of the day at the most they just do some small errands at their own pace... To be fair, my best Friend is a single mum with two children of her own under the age of 3 and she has recently gained custody of her 5 year old (school age) niece because her sister has drug problems. She is constantly busy! She doesn't work, and although breakfast time and dinner time are extremely busy for her but so is the rest of her day! She would like to have a job, but childcare is very expensive and would practically take up most of her pay-check. It is cheaper for her to stay at home and look after the children herself. The place is a mess, and she is constantly cleaning. The children are demanding, although her 5 year old niece is a total sweetheart and tries to help her. When I go there it is exhausting! I have to admit, every second day or so, she has another friend who is a single mum come over and they have a coffee for an hour or two while the children play together, but other than that her life is pretty busy! She constantly has a load of washing on, mainly washing cloth diapers, but that is because the disposable ones are too expensive for a single, stay at home mum. She likes her children to wear clean clothes, but they are constantly getting messy, so she is ALWAYS doing the washing. They are always spilling things on the carpet and she is always cleaning up after them. It's not like she can lock them in a cage, then hang out on facebook all day. Going to visit her is exhausting for me, although I know she wouldn't change a thing as she finds it rewarding. I want to have children one day, and even if I have to do it as a single mum, I look forward to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Really, you shouldn't judge so easily. Why do you care what housewives do anyway? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author musemaj11 Posted October 2, 2011 Author Share Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) It is not bliss. At least not for me. I don't do much at all. I am used to working, but am unable to due to my visa status at the moment. I left my job in Sydney early June and have wished every day since that I could go back to work here. Hopefully won't be much longer. All those things that you do while not at work/out with friends, imagine having them to fill your time when you have those extra 8 hours each day. Not so thrilling. And not blissful at all. Had you married a millionaire, you could easily fill your free time with shopping spree and idle chatting with other fellow jobless wives. You totally married the wrong guy. Personally though, two weeks are the longest time I could spend without doing any productive activity. Really, you shouldn't judge so easily. Why do you care what housewives do anyway? Having curiosity isnt against the law. To be fair, my best Friend is a single mum with two children of her own under the age of 3 and she has recently gained custody of her 5 year old (school age) niece because her sister has drug problems. She is constantly busy! She doesn't work, and although breakfast time and dinner time are extremely busy for her but so is the rest of her day! She would like to have a job, but childcare is very expensive and would practically take up most of her pay-check. It is cheaper for her to stay at home and look after the children herself. My question pertains housewives without small kids or any kids at all. Edited October 2, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
fatalcharm Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 So I really cant imagine how life is for a housewife who doesnt even have a single child. Life must be a bliss for them. Sorry, I forgot about the title! Yes, life would be bliss for a childless housewife in my opinion. If it was me, I would try to start my own work-from-home business. Without children (which I don't currently have) I have to do something constructive. Without children, keeping the house clean wouldn't be an issue. All you do is just don't make a mess. I have mentioned in the last few posts that I have made how I would like to be a stay at home mum. Until then, I have to do something to keep myself busy. That includes working a day-job, trying to run a small online business and sometimes volunteering as a human and animal rights activist (mainly creating petitions and sending letters to the PM), plus posting on forums like this one :-) I need to always be doing something constructive (although forum posting is debatable!) I can't just sit there and watch TV. When I have kids, I am sure that my time will be filled up, but if not then I will work from home or get a part time job. I get bored easily and need something to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Again, why do you care so much what housewives do or don't do all day? What does their life style choices have to do with you? This is no different when people prejudge gay people about their lifestyle choices. If a situation works for two people involved, that's all that matters. Any talk about how productive and fabulous you are because you accomplish your chores in 3 hours (P.S., you must live in a smaller place and I'm guessing you don't have a bigger yard), is petty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 I'd go insane without work. In one of my previous jobs I had a month off between semesters every January and it drove me nuts after about a week (there was nothing to do where I lived either). Right now I'm so over worked that I'd kill for a month off, but anything more than that would drive me bonkers. Like CE I've been in shorter periods of time like that involuntarily and I hated it every time. Hope it works out for you soon, CE. Thanks. Had you married a millionaire, you could easily fill your free time with shopping spree and idle chatting with other fellow jobless wives. You totally married the wrong guy. Personally though, two weeks are the longest time I could spend without doing any productive activity. The thought of that actually makes me ill. I'm sure some people can be happy with that life, but I'm not one of them. It took me a month before it started bothering me. I will probably have an unemployment phobia after this. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Personally I know only a few housewives. Most women these days are career women regardless they have kids or not. And those few housewives that I know have at least one kid and unless they have a small kid or have plenty of kids, their lives are practically so easy and stress-free. Their busy hours are only a few hours around breakfast time and around dinner time. While for the rest of the day at the most they just do some small errands at their own pace. So I really cant imagine how life is for a housewife who doesnt even have a single child. Life must be a bliss for them. I don't know the women you speak about (who are not busy) and have children. I have had a different experience of raising little ones and so have my friends and family members. The bolded is something I have been contemplating, as shortly I will not have to work anymore. Just waiting for a final cog to fit into place. I have part decided to have more children and pursue other ventures as I can't imagine not doing anything for a period longer than say 6-12 months. All in all, if it is finacially possible, I do think it is good to step out from responsibilities for a while. I reckon such an experience can provide a lot of appreciation and motivation for new ventures... but then again I am not into defining myself by my job and like to travel and do **** all sometimes. Personally I do not see this as a gender thing, it is more a wealth thing. It is very liberating. Kind of like reliving that spell between graduation and getting a job. But no, I cannot imagine just being at home when I am fully able to work whilst my partner supports me. I don't see the point of that. Take care, Eve x Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 My ex wife was a homemaker and I felt her role was invaluable to me. She paid all the bills, hire contractors to work on the house, manage the finances, did all the shopping, kept the home in excellent condition, and was an amazing gourmet cook. She was a volunteer in the local hospital and at the end of the day made my life very easy. She wanted to work, but in reality there was no need for her to do so. So I was the one that asked her to stay home. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 My ex wife was a homemaker and I felt her role was invaluable to me. She paid all the bills, hire contractors to work on the house, manage the finances, did all the shopping, kept the home in excellent condition, and was an amazing gourmet cook. She was a volunteer in the local hospital and at the end of the day made my life very easy. She wanted to work, but in reality there was no need for her to do so. So I was the one that asked her to stay home. and now that you two are not together, what does she have to show for all that labor? Well-adjusted children perhaps. That would be one positive outcome... but plenty of well-adjusted children come from parents where both work outside the home. Maybe a life-long relationship with you?? (obviously 50/50 divorce rates make that a poor risk). But to the OP's question... You'd be amazed at the abundant ways people can keep themselves busy. If you don't value the kind of things a stay-at-home homemaker would provide, then don't have one. I could never be a SAHM. The lack of adult conversation and interaction would be enough to drive me insane... never mind the lack of work I can call 'my own'. Depending on one person for your survival really is about is idiotic as anything I can imagine. Seems ridiculously risky and stupid. Always has. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 To be fair, my best Friend is a single mum with two children of her own under the age of 3 and she has recently gained custody of her 5 year old (school age) niece because her sister has drug problems. She is constantly busy! She doesn't work, and although breakfast time and dinner time are extremely busy for her but so is the rest of her day! She would like to have a job, but childcare is very expensive and would practically take up most of her pay-check. It is cheaper for her to stay at home and look after the children herself. The place is a mess, and she is constantly cleaning. The children are demanding, although her 5 year old niece is a total sweetheart and tries to help her. When I go there it is exhausting! I have to admit, every second day or so, she has another friend who is a single mum come over and they have a coffee for an hour or two while the children play together, but other than that her life is pretty busy! She constantly has a load of washing on, mainly washing cloth diapers, but that is because the disposable ones are too expensive for a single, stay at home mum. She likes her children to wear clean clothes, but they are constantly getting messy, so she is ALWAYS doing the washing. They are always spilling things on the carpet and she is always cleaning up after them. It's not like she can lock them in a cage, then hang out on facebook all day. Going to visit her is exhausting for me, although I know she wouldn't change a thing as she finds it rewarding. I want to have children one day, and even if I have to do it as a single mum, I look forward to it. Dealing with two children 24/7 is SO MUCH WORK. I get exhausted just observing my friends with two and three small kids when I visit them. I'd take a twelve hour work day in a high intensity job any day over that. Link to post Share on other sites
Pierre Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 and now that you two are not together, what does she have to show for all that labor? Well-adjusted children perhaps. That would be one positive outcome... but plenty of well-adjusted children come from parents where both work outside the home. Maybe a life-long relationship with you?? (obviously 50/50 divorce rates make that a poor risk). But to the OP's question... You'd be amazed at the abundant ways people can keep themselves busy. If you don't value the kind of things a stay-at-home homemaker would provide, then don't have one. I could never be a SAHM. The lack of adult conversation and interaction would be enough to drive me insane... never mind the lack of work I can call 'my own'. Depending on one person for your survival really is about is idiotic as anything I can imagine. Seems ridiculously risky and stupid. Always has. She has half of everything we built during the marriage. I never considered that we were two different people. We were a partnership and the money belonged to the partnership. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 (edited) She has half of everything we built during the marriage. I never considered that we were two different people. We were a partnership and the money belonged to the partnership. I suppose this is the difference that many cannot understand. People tend to be together but split their finances. I see no point to this. Maybe this is why things are so hard to share at divorce? Everything in my marriage belongs to us jointly. When I was an at home mummy (only working part time) the money I earned went towards the 'entertainment fund'. It was valued as much as what my Hubby earned. What I could provide grew as the venture I started grew. It is therefore suffice to say, if either partner can stay at home it is about the agreement they share. Nothing else. Maybe I am missing something but I can't see how anyone could be pressured into such an agreement. As long as each partner can in fact earn a living or has enough money to support themselves if everything goes to ****.. whose business is it? Take care, Eve x Edited October 2, 2011 by Eve Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted October 2, 2011 Share Posted October 2, 2011 Depends who you are married to. If you are married to a very successful, high powered exec, you manage the household and the social calendar as well as looking after your husband. A friend is constantly planning dinner parties, charity events, and accepting invitations to places with people she can't stand because it all helps further her husband's business. She is sort of like a PR person in that respect. She always has to look fantastic because she represents her husband so must have manicures, wear fashionable clothes, have facials, cosmetic tweaks, etc. Trust me, she is very busy and can't wait for him to retire so she can relax and literally let her hair down and just enjoy the man she married. I'm not a social butterly so her life is my idea of hell. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Meh, I'll take the surface value of what musemaj claims to be 'pure curiousity' despite knowing his history. Maybe miracle changes are possible in people, anyhow. My grandmother was a housewife. Even when her kids were all at school (and thus did not need much 'childcare', she sewed everyone's clothes, cooked food from scratch (and I mean from scratch, including planting her own veggies, slaughtering her own chickens, etc), made desserts to sell to neighbours, and such. Seeing as she is the kind of person who literally cannot sit still without doing some work, I guess she somehow managed to make it stretch out the entire day. I would not call everyone who stays at home a 'housewife', though. Some cannot work for visa reasons, like CE now, and as I was when I first moved to be with the bf. I did not really get bored at all for 6 months, seeing as I have a large number of hobbies and was exploring a new land. But I definitely wouldn't call that 'being a housewife' - doing all the housework pretty much took only about 2-3 hours a day. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Personally I know only a few housewives. Most women these days are career women regardless they have kids or not. And those few housewives that I know have at least one kid and unless they have a small kid or have plenty of kids, their lives are practically so easy and stress-free. Their busy hours are only a few hours around breakfast time and around dinner time. While for the rest of the day at the most they just do some small errands at their own pace. So I really cant imagine how life is for a housewife who doesnt even have a single child. Life must be a bliss for them. If they don't work, then they probably do what kids in high school detention did: sit around staring into space with a stupid look on their face. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 When I wasn't working and had a child at home during the day, I fed him, cooked dinner, did some laundry (Thursday was clean sheets day), made beds, cleaned (Monday was kid bathroom day, Wednesday was guest bath day, and Friday was master bath day) (Tuesday was vacuum day and Friday was hardwood floor day and Monday was do the wood stairs day), had friends over for child playdates or went to someone else's house, did Mommy and Me yoga on Tuesdays, went to the grocery and drug stores, the cleaners, the hardware store, supervised any sort of workmen at the house, cleaned flowerbeds and did planting, and took a nap when he did! Yay for naps! When he was in school, I sometimes crawled back into bed in the morning when the house was quiet, too. That was really nice! In those days, I did volunteering for Meals on Wheels (every other Thursday) and the local animal shelter (we lived in a rural area and it was 112 miles round trip to move dogs/cats to different shelters in a three county area), played tennis, worked 1 day a month at the Arts Council, worked in the yard, refinished furniture and did home renovation projects, did online travel scheduling for my bf/now H's company (about 6 hours a week), among other things listed in the first paragraph. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 The only childless housewife I've *known*, spends her time shopping (alone and with others)... going to salons (hair, spa, nails etc)... and watching TV. She doesn't clean much nor cook, they have a housemaid. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 What exactly does a bitter, angry young man with no love life, intelligence or imagination - do all day? Post pointless misogynist threads on LS ? what does it say about the ones who respond to him? Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 She watches Oprah. Link to post Share on other sites
vsmini Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 She has half of everything we built during the marriage. I never considered that we were two different people. We were a partnership and the money belonged to the partnership. I really, really like this kind of outlook. I think when two people share this it makes for a potentially great relationship. As long as you were happy to go to work and she stay home and manage the home it works out. Nobody hanging a paycheck over the other's head and resenting each other for it. That's how it should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Lucky_One Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 What does it say about me for responding to him? I hope it says that I still believe that if enough people try to show him how misinformed he can be, then maybe he will change. Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 There are good and bad things about most situations, very rarely is something all negative or all positilve. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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