hurtbrian Posted May 14, 2004 Share Posted May 14, 2004 Me and my exfiance broke up recently. She had dropped everything she knew to be with me and started over with a new job and all. She is still living with me until the lease on her new apt. goes thru. It all happend right after we were in a club with "people from worK" and she basicly ignored me all night and was dancing with these "people from work". Is/did she cheat on me? I am trying to help her get on her own now by buying her furniture I can't even afford and taking some of her bills. This is the 3rd time we have broken up over the last 7 years. We were dating for 14mths and were engaged for 9. I have been accused of cheating and all that great stuff. Should I help her? I have always loved her but don't understand what happend and why all the sudden she didn't want/care for me anymore. But then sometimes she says she cares about me in emails or txt msg. Is she playing me? I mean before we even called it off, she forgot about my birthday. Is that a sign she has just been using me? I really think she is a good person, but maybe over the 31/2 years we weren't together and I was over seas, did she become sneaky and know exactly what to say to make me think she loved me? Help I don't know what I truely am suppose to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Flag Rick Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 mercy... who knows if she cheated on you or not... did you cheat on her? and what is "all that great stuff?" helping her at this point sure does sound codependent, and believe me, i know codependent. if only i had the money and things i have given away all those years... from my experience, i say stop all that codependent assistance. you can never buy her back or buy your happiness... the fact that you cannot afford to help is a really good signal to stop... i used to do the same thing so i know how you feel... if your relationship was that rocky, and then you went overseas, no telling what she did - or what you did during that time... i would not be so concerned about her playing you because she obviously thinks the same thing about you. and it really isn't about who is playing who - you two lovebirds need some counseling before you try to tie the knot or sling up in some relationship again - from your post, both of you would benefit from it... what are your ages? Link to post Share on other sites
Author hurtbrian Posted May 15, 2004 Author Share Posted May 15, 2004 i was overseas before we were in a serious relationship again. the other good stuff, is all the nice things that are said during a fight, that hit you hard. i know money can't buy happiness or someone back, that's foolish. money has no value to me. i just want to see her happy again. and i don't know what happend that she is no longer that way. we are at least being civil now with one another, and are going to try to become good friends again, but again it is very hard to go from one extreme to another and now we are trying to start from scratch with a friendship agian. what hurts is i don't know why she would think i would try to hold anything over her head. like a trust factor. i think mine trust issues came from her not trusting me 100%. we are both in are mid 20's and sometimes it feels like we fight like little kids. i'm glad we haven't fought in a week or so now, but I think with the co-habbitation and false hoods we have drawn of one another is wrecking what we had and on the friendship we are both trying to reattain. thanks for replying red flag. Link to post Share on other sites
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