Kind of an odd way to cope, but I figured I would share.

[HollyHoliday]

My relationship ended about three months ago. While I knew from the start that something was off, and over time realized that it would never be what I wanted, I still had a near nervous breakdown once it ended. While the first two months involved loosing 20 pounds and endless crying, I have started to improve a lot. And that has been through visualizing what I want not only in life, but in a relationship.

 

I used to have horrible ruminating thoughts about things that have happened in the past between this person and I, both good and bad. They would come out of nowhere, and it would be so hurtful. So one night when I couldn't sleep I decided to replace those feelings and thoughts with something else.

 

I thought about the things that I DO want in a relationship. Someone who will be there for me, isn't arrogant or self absorbed, someone who treats others with respect and has a realistic mindset. So, I began to visualize a relationship in my head with someone where I had those things. Whether that someone is a celebrity or a complete figment of your imagination, just make sure that they are someone who has nothing to do with that ex.

 

In my fantasies, I visualize how I would meet this person, how our relationship would progress slowly, and how he would treat me with respect.

 

Is it kind of weird and involve a fantasy? Yes. But it has really helped me to move on from my situation, even if I am one of the lucky ones in that I always knew he wasn't the right one for me because of the reality of who he is as a person.

 

Hope this helps others as much as it has helped me!

[solobeary]

To me that sounds like a pretty clever way of coping!

 

While we are sharing weird coping methods, what I did to get through the first few weeks of no contact was have the desktop of my phone as text which read "selfish, arrogant, loser". To remind me that he was a selfish, arrogant loser and not to contact him every time I checked my phone (ie all the time). I don't need it any more, but that little trick really helped me personally get through the first few weeks, just having something there countering the constant thoughts about him.

[Bruised Not Broken]

very interesting....maybe I'll try it. God knows what I've been doing hasn't helped at all.