Friends or Lovers?

[*Faith*]

In order to conceal both my and my "friend's" identity I am using false names for both of us. I am a junior in highschool, and my friend (we'll call him Danny) just graduated from Military school on Friday 12/18/98, Anyway, before he left to go to Military school we had had a great relationship. He was going out with one of my friends, and the whole time they were going out, he wanted me, and I wanted him. So when she broke up with him, I was there for him. She ended up not being a true friend anyway, and now we haven't spoken since September. But he came home from military school on Saturday, and I was the first person that he called. I was so excited to know that he would be here for me to confide in and possibly start a relationship with. so on Tuesday ~12/23/98~ He came over because we were both so bored at our own homes. When he got here, I didn't know exactly what to do since I hadn't seen him or spoken to him in 5 1/2 months. So we watched tv, and a movie and his mom called me and told me she had gotten pretty sick and needed Danny to come home. So I relayed the message to him and as he was getting ready to leave, we were saying our goodbyes and we just stopped talking and for a second our eyes just fixed on each other and he wrapped me up in his arms and just held me . Then we kissed for what seemed like an eternity. and before I knew what had happened we were both wrapped up in so much emotion we had taken most of our clothes off. He looked into my eyes and told me I was the most beautiful person in his life. Then we got kinda hot and heavy, and we somehow ended up on my stairs with our hot tangled bodes wrapped in each other. we didn't have intercourse, but I feel like if what happened next hadnot happened we would have. At this point, his pager went off and he just forgot it and proceeded to do exactly what we had been doing for the past half hour. Then the phone rang, I got up to answer it, and it was his mom. She was very worried because it had been 45 minutes since she first called and he still wasn't home. (he lived 10 minutes away)so I told her that we had run into a little problem and that he had just left 5 min. ago. So he left (after about another 10 min. of passionately kissing my every part.)so that night he called, and we were both very confused about where our relationship stood at the moment. He then told me that he felt really bad about what happened because he felt like he was just a player and that he thought maybe he had just done that because I let him. But that he was so confused because he felt something different, something special, that he had never felt with anyone else. And we now don't know what to do from here. I love him so much, and I have for 3 years. So what can I tell him to keep him for ever? someone please find it in your hert to hel a woman in love!

[Marc]

Hi,

 

I hope you're fine with a guy responding. Actually, I can understand Danny to a certain degree as I felt much the same at the start of my own relationship ( which celebrated its 3rd birthday a month ago - not eternaty but pretty long, I guess ). It's that boys seem to have a problem figuring out whether they really want intimacy and sex or not, as they are often stigmatised, i.e. told, the only one who could oppose sex is the woman. Well, at least this is valid in my case.

 

My conclusion is: If you really love him, your first wish should be to make HIM happy, not yourself ( at least that's what I think is called love ). This means, show him what you feel but don't urge him into anything. Maybe that's not the best strategy to "hold him forever", but in the end you'll profit from it, too, I guess.

 

Good luck!