PositiveNegative Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Everyone keeps a bunch of little things that mean something during the relationship. Pictures, notes, letters, the smallest and most insignificant stuff that they gave you. I'm sure you all had boxes of stuff. So, what did you do with them? Did you toss them? Keep them? For those who tossed them did you regret it later? I put all of that stuff into a garbage bag and put it in storage. Oddly enough a week or two before she broke up with me I had gone through my closet and found some letters and notes that my previous ex had given me years ago. I didn't long for her again, I didn't cry, I just smiled. It reminded me of my first love and the good times that we had. I'm still deep into my healing process and do feel like a crossroads. At times I wish to burn all of the stuff but seeing my previous ex's stuff makes me realize that someday I will probably regret it. Then again I do have a lot of stuff from her so I was thinking maybe I should throw most of it out and then keep the most important things. In any case I don't really think I'm prepared to open that bag again, it's way too soon. A while ago I was looking through my ex's computer and noticed she had a picture of her ex on there. It was still relatively early in our relationship and she had broken up with him awhile ago before that. I got a bit upset. She explained to me that her mom would always tell her that she wished she had kept pictures of her previous boyfriends as she sometimes thinks of them and wishes she could see their face as she remembered it. As we were breaking up I asked my ex what she was going to do with her tin can of our memories. She said that she would never throw them away. I asked what if her next boyfriend saw them, what would they think? She responded "I don't care what he thinks." Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I've kept mine from one past relationship but people are different. If someone enriched your life for a number of years, I find it hard to discard those memories. People are different though. I'm sure when the right girl comes along, you will discard those souvenirs anyway. I think it's a personal choice. I know friends that would just discard and move on. For me that's too cold, especially if you spent many years together. Good question though and you should see a range of different replies... Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 the vast majority of it: emails; dvds he burned for me - - even a pair of shoes he bought me i tossed/gave away. i honestly don't regret doing so. the only things i kept were a chair and television he passed on to me from someone else who didn't want them. primarily because it would have been too much of a hassle to get rid of them and i use them anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I was dumped for her ex. 2 months ago and I find it hard to throw away the stuff I saved,, maybe in time. I was so hurt and I don't know why I haven't pissed on them then set them on fire later? As I was going thru the stuff I realised that in approx. 1 year together she never really bought me anything! I'm the one who bought her all kinds of things, clothes, earrings, shoes etc. Another red flag I missed! Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I don't have any except my first LTR's wooden pot pipe that looks like a pretzel. I don't use it any more and it's so old it's petrifying but I haven't felt the need to purge it. Other than that it's just photos and none of them sexual. I keep them in my file cabinet mixed with family snaps shots and don't feel I should have to purge them. I've thrown out a couple of the one who drove me to brink of destruction. I rarely look at any pictures and they are few at that. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 If you just hold to them for the sake of memories and you are over the person and it does not get in the way of your current relationship, then it is fine. If you're holding on to more than just momentos and pictures, while in a new R, then that is cause for concern. If you can't look at them, store them away. When you are indifferent, you'll be able to decide what you want to do with them. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 When I go to town to get the mail, I handle probably the most enduring of my marital souvenirs, a keyring with a plastic encased picture of my exW and I on our first cruise, something we had planned for a year and which I struggled mightily to make happen after my mom had her stroke and brain surgery only a couple months prior. My life after that point would become totally different. It's a good memory to cherish, even if the wife is gone now. There's other 'stuff' floating around here but, since my exW got most of our physical possessions, little to remind me of our M. I'm OK with that. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnP82 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Out with the trash Link to post Share on other sites
M2155 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I wonder what HE did with the stuff I gave him because I gave him way better stuff than he ever gave me But in general, I keep it. Not out on display but with keepsakes etc. I do have a pair of earrings that I wear and it doesn't make me feel emotional or guilty. It's just one of the few positive things I got out of it. I also have a bummy t-shirt from almost all of my exboyfriends that I sleep in sometimes. I guess that is weird. I can't wear the one from the recent ex though, maybe I will have to toss that one:rolleyes: Link to post Share on other sites
Author PositiveNegative Posted October 3, 2011 Author Share Posted October 3, 2011 I also have a bummy t-shirt from almost all of my exboyfriends that I sleep in sometimes. I guess that is weird. I can't wear the one from the recent ex though, maybe I will have to toss that one:rolleyes: I gave my ex a shirt when she broke up with me. It was her favorite shirt of mine. In return she actually gave me one of my favorite shirt of hers. I dropped it off at her doorstep that night, it wouldn't have looked good on me anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
2sure Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 As soon as I know that I am not going to resume the relationship, I ditch most of the memories...the cards, the dried flowers, the notes, the crap. The other 10% , including one or two pictures..I put in a box with my other "stuff" and save. Over the years when adding to the box or just going through it..I find I toss more and more. Often while wondering why I kept it at all. Some items are true "Souvenirs" and I keep them. Jewelry, things we purchased together that I like or use. Dont get me wrong, Im not deleting them from my life...Its more because I just hate crap. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 Box, under the bed but i catch myself looking at them often Link to post Share on other sites
fuzzbella Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 A really old ex of a few years ago i took the stuff and burnt it then got in trouble for having a small fire in my back garden. My recent relationship i still have them in a box, i had already put them in a box a month before it ended, i knew what was coming so i tried to prepare myself but it didnt really help, i guess once i feel nothing for him i wont feel upset by looking at them, but as for now im still holding onto them. Link to post Share on other sites
Beachgirl8 Posted October 3, 2011 Share Posted October 3, 2011 I used to have a shoebox of stuff from my old boyfriends- letters, pictures, etc. My most recent ex found it, freaked out, and tossed it without asking me. Nevermind the fact that the majority of things in the box were from an ex boyfriend that had died. I was very upset. For some reason I had NO PROBLEM getting rid of any reminders of this guy (or rather leaving everything with him, I only took minimal things with me when I left) Link to post Share on other sites
HappyFlower Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I've never really kept stuff. With my recent ex, everything of his I sent back, including some expensive gifts and sentimental things he bought me. I somehow felt bad throwing those away of giving them to charity. I know he's kept them. Other stuff he bought me is hidden in a box under the bed. Photos, emails and online chats (we met online) are all saved on an external hard drive but not on the main computer so I never see them. The thing that took the longest was the dried flowers. He used to bring me flowers on every 1 month anniversary, and I always dried some and had them in a bowl. When we split they never really reminded me of him, they were just there. Until the 1 month anniversary of our breakup. Then I threw them away Link to post Share on other sites
brokenheartedinaz Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 When my ex moved out he left some things for me and I couldn't stand looking at them, it was like a ghost haunting me. I packed them all up in a box, all the cards, pictures jewelry , everything and I took them to his sisters house and dropped them off. I told him to hold onto them for me for I may want them back later on , but it was just too much for me to bear at the moment. He said he understood even though it was a slap in the face but that he would hang on to them for me. The last time I talked to him 2 weeks ago he told me he still has our pictures up in his room and likes to look at them to think of the happy times we had together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author PositiveNegative Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Welp, just looked through my hard drive and still have some pictures of her on there. Some of them are sexual and those just drive me crazy thinking about how I won't be able to sleep with her again and how great of a sex life we had. Ugh. I need to delete these immediately! Link to post Share on other sites
lalalandman Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Now that I'm looking, I've kept some souvenirs Baseball Glove Wooden Pillar Candle Holder Wooden Coffin Incense Holder Mickey Mouse Baseball Bobble-head I still have framed pictures of my previous ex in the garage somewhere. Plus a few other things scattered here and there. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I still have the stuff he gave me. Some things I didn't take with me when I moved out. Like the knitting things he gave me , the guitar , cards , stuffed toys. I kept the necklace he gave me for our anniversary and put some things away in a box. I have some photos of us on my laptop and use the handbag and wallet he gave me for Christmas. I like them , but am thinking of getting a new bag because I think I need a fresh start. My cat is also a gift from him.Never in hell would I give her away.I love her too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Eeyore79 Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I put virtually everything in the trash. I had no difficulty parting with the stuff from exes I dumped because I lost interest in them; I threw absolutely everything away as soon as I dumped them. But when it comes to the ex whom I had feelings for, the one who dumped me - I kept a few digital photos and bits of paper. So I think you're more inclined to hold onto souvenirs of someone you cared about... Link to post Share on other sites
melenkurion Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I burned most of it about two months ago. Photos, letters and cards all gone up in smoke. I don't think I'll regret it. I don't wear my wedding ring, or my engagement ring. I haven't thrown them away, but I haven't got a clue where they are. The one thing I do wear is a watch he got me just before he left, but I don't feel a scrap of sentimentality for it. I like the watch. Link to post Share on other sites
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