Need , good friend rejected me, don't know next step

[Yankees4331]

I am a freshman going to college in Ohio. This weekend, I traveled to New York where a good friend of mine who's a girl is attending school. She is also a freshman and Ijust this summer became good friends with her. We went to different middle and high schools and I only know her because her mom and my mom went to school together and are best friends.

 

We've been texting extremely frequently for the past two months or so and also skype for hours sometimes at night. I never text this girl first (kinda to gauge her interest)but she texts me every day and whatnot. I started off as friends with her but then about 2 weeks ago she started to ask me to come and visit her. She said that itd be a great time and what not.

 

In this two months, one night i talked to her on skype and expressed without actually saying that i liked her by saying that i havent met a girl at school yet that is as awesome as her. This might have led her to invite me to visit her at school???

 

So, I, wanting to see if there was any chemistry by hanging out with her in person for the first time since summer, go to New York this weekend. It started off great, she waited for me at the airport for an hour before my flight arrived and we immediately hit it off. She showed me around her campus, her dorm, we got lunch and it just seemed like it was a good fit. Anyway, I'm being casual, making jokes and whatnot, haven't really expressed my interest for her yet. We go out to dinner and then catch a movie. Again, all good.

 

Later that night, there was a house party going on her campus which we go to. Typical college party, with lots of drinking and dancing. Anyway, I break away from her and mingle with other people while she talks to her friends. Much later in the night, I see her dancing with some random guy and all of a sudden I felt a combination of anger and sadness inside. (Why i didn't ask her to dance in the first place I have no idea) Combined with my already hazy mind due to drinking that night, I immediately wanted to leave. I asked her, to which she said she wanted to stay a bit longer and proceeded to go drink some more with some newly made friends there. One of the guys knew her and said that there were 2 other guys that liked her?? no idea

 

We finally leave, in between I saw her exchanging numbers with another guy there. I already angry and sad, intentionally don't say anything to her on the way back. (We left in a decent sized group). Anyway, we get back to her dorm, obviously she sees something is wrong with me and asks me. I tell her nothing is wrong at first but obviously she asks to talk alone.

 

We go down to a empty room, and i tell her that I really really like her and whatnot. I say that I had a great time with her today and whatnot. She says to me well you know I've never had a boyfriend, and you live 1000 miles away, it'd be different if you went here but its such long distance. In addition, she says that other people here have told me that they like me but I just have no feelings back. She says she likes me too but would just like to be friends right now and then see what happens in the future. Now granted we were both semi drunk so I fell asleep soon afterward.

 

Next morning, everything seems normal, we go get lunch, go shopping, and just chill. However, throughout the day I feel as if there was a sense of ackwardness. Like something was different from the day before. For example, we'd be watching tv and she was sit on the complete opposite side of the room. Anyway, about 30 mins before my cab comes to take me to the airport, I tell her I want to talk to her about something and just say that I was sorry about last night. I say that I felt that there were times today where it was ackward between us. I say though that everything I said was the truth and that I truly really really liked her. She says that she never thought it was ackward today at all and without hesitation that if it was alright if we were just friends. She says she wants to be friends and doesn't want anything to be ackward or anything. She also brings up how there might be other nights like last night where she dances/flirty with other guys. Also, she was texting on her phone this whole time.

 

Now I am in a state of confusion/hurt/anger and just don't know how to respond. I say I don't know repeatily and then after a while just say ok, I still want to be friends. I go and get my stuff and she waits with me for my cab. This 10 minutes was quite possibly one of the worst/most ackward 10 minutes of my life. I tell her I'm sorry, its my fault, whatnot, (probs a mistake on my part) and then give her a hug and tell her thanks for having me and then leave.

 

I don't know what to do. I truly still like this girl and have no idea what to think/act now. I want to say that I am not going to talk to her anymore and whatnot but at the same time I still partially want to still be friends with her considering we were such good friends before. She normally texts me daily but today there obviously was no text also. I don't know if I should wait or text her in a week or so??

 

Need Advice!!!

[JRock8732]

You grew attached to her really quick. That resulted in the hurt feelings with her dancing with other guy(s). You two weren't in a relationship and you were angry about her dancing with other guys is what shattered the mood. You shouldn't have let that hurt you. You can still be friends with her, just don't let your feelings get in the way. If she really hurt you that bad, don't be her friend. If she doesn't act like a true friend and says this to let you down easily, move on.

[futuregopher]

Hey I know how you feel. Sometimes it's hard being in that situation where there is unrequited love. In my opinion, I feel like she led you on a bit which is unfair to you.

 

The good thing about this is that you are only a freshman! In college! I am a senior in college and one piece of advice I can give you is to be active and busy as possible on campus. Join clubs and don't be shy to meet people in your classes. In freshman year, everyone is nice to everyone so try to meet new people. It changes a lot in your sophomore years and beyond as the relationships you establish during your freshman year will most likely be the people that you hang around the most. Granted there are a few exceptions. Find a few clubs that spark your interest on campus and go to their events. You are bound to meet a girl there that has similar interests as you and you guys might hit it off great. Don't let this weigh you down. Freshman year was an awesome experience just based on the people I met and the relationships I established.