amythan Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 Hi - I had a very hard time accepting that he does not love but I am finally moving on. I posted many times about this but just a short summary, we got together more than one year ago and I believed he was honestly interested. He showed all the signs and I trusted him. Then he pulled away and I became the FWB hoping for more. After two or three emotional fights he just broke up and disappeared. What I found difficult to accept is that at some point something changed. If this was a pure FWB from the beginning i wouldn't care (and I had not entered in it either) but i think that he saw something that he didn't like. And from this day I was just good enough to hook up. During our last fight i asked him and he said that he did all that just to sleep with me and he understands i am resentful. Now he does not talk to me either which makes me think that he never cared about me. I miss my friend but maybe he was never my friend ... I cannot help myself but i still think that it was my fault or i did something wrong ... is this stupid ? Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 No, it's not stupid. You were in love. And your mind tells you crazy things when your in love and the relationship ends. It's not your fault what he did to you. You (I think) will have to take his word for it that he used you. Try to be thankful he is gone. And keep moving on and ahead of all this. Be well. Link to post Share on other sites
B_55 Posted October 4, 2011 Share Posted October 4, 2011 I think doctor Drew sums it up pretty well: You can't be Friends with Benefits without someone developing feelings. It's not stupid, you, like so many other people, fell for someone that only wanted one thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author amythan Posted October 4, 2011 Author Share Posted October 4, 2011 Of course i know i made many mistakes here but i guess because i was naive and in love. This was not a fwb thing. He did everything to show interest and during five months i was special and the best girl on earth. I trusted him and he knew that. I did it because the feelings were already there. And one day out of nowhere i was downgraded and i never knew why. And i accepted it (my bad) because it was to late to save my heart and i was in serious denial. And even today i wonder what happened, what he saw in me that put in the "just good to have fun" category. He always knew i was serious, this was not a case of things turned ugly because i didn't handle to have random sex. And when i asked he said that he did all this just to get to sleep with me .. despite he said he cares so much and love me and blah blah Now he does not talk to me. At all. Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 amythan, this guy was a user, abuser, liar, emotional thief. And he's left you feeling sick and wondering about yourself. But i can almost guess that you weren't the first one he's done this to. You'll get over this in time. Try not to beat yourself up over him. You are not the person at fault here. He was/is that person. It always seems when the sh*t hits the fan in a relationship and we get thrown away, we always seem to look at ourselves for the fault of it happening. But it's not always that way. Link to post Share on other sites
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