So it's been a year...

[Silvermane]

Hey all. I haven't posted here for a while. My last account got hit by the mod stick for a drunken flame post. In honour of being broken up for 1 year as of today I'm going to share a few thoughts. I hope to see some familiar names and see how everyone is doing. Here is my old thread for anyone that cares for a back story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t268377/?highlight=burning+bridges

 

It's funny how I know the exact date of my breakup but no idea as to the exact date we started dating. Considering how completely destroyed I was a year ago today I've made decent progress. I haven't seen or heard from my ex since that random encounter back in the spring. I still have bad days where I think about her way too much, but a bad day now is better than a good day was for the first 3-4 months. I've accepted that I'll never hear from her again, and while I can logically tell myself it's for the best since she doesn't care about me, it still makes me sad when I think about it. That physical feeling of sickness I get from thinking of her is gone. The anger is mostly gone as well. It's just a dull sadness when I think about it now.

 

My self esteem is still shot to hell though. Losing 2 jobs and being unemployed for the last 4 months hasn't helped, but the breakup is still the main reason for it. There have been a couple girls that I could have dated but I'm still in no condition to attempt a relationship. I tend to drift back to the b/u when I'm feeling down and it makes me give up for days at a time. Distractions help most of the time now, but there are still days where I barely eat and don't leave the house. It's hard to be busy when you have no income and live at home still. I pull my head out of the sand a lot more often now but the light at the end of the tunnel still seems far away. I figure it will take me at least 6 more months to finish my healing and be as over it as I'm ever going to be.

 

Physical health wise I'm doing a lot better than I was during the relationship. The b/u motivated me to eat better and work out. I wasn't in terrible shape before, but I am a lot stronger and healthier than I've ever been. I still have my set backs though and have lots more progress to make. Random minor injuries that keep me out of the gym for a week or two, ****ty depression days where I barely eat, and drinking way too much once or twice a week. I have to get more consistent with getting my body healthy. Healthy body = healthy mind.

 

That's it for now. Thanks for all the help to those of you who gave it. I wish I knew about this place a year ago today. It would have saved me a lot of trouble and stupidity.

[reimeivn]

yep i remembered the exact date of breaking up. that is because i cut off all contact since then.

 

if she hasnt contacted you, feel lucky. you are still not over her yet, she contacting you just gonna mess you up.

 

i am 5 months out and the ex contacted me brings me back to this place again. It really messed me up. but i dont think he wants to get back together and i know that i dont want to get back together so... its just the feeling of used to have something so good, then couldnt work it out, then he threw it away you know.