Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 (edited) We broke up. The last couple of weeks have been particularly ridiculous in terms of how distant he got. I could even say the last few months. I am surprisingly fine with it being over. My understanding is that he had been checking out for awhile now, which was causing me to have trust issues. It took me a long time to catch on. Basically, I believe he wanted out but didn't own up to it. I'm fine. I feel like at least I fought my hardest for our connection and he didn't. I was true to myself throughout. And now I am free to make my life here. I really don't have much to say or discuss. I just thought I would let you guys know. It is what it is. And it is for the best. Edited October 5, 2011 by Kamille Link to post Share on other sites
tigressA Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sorry to read it didn't work out, Kam. Happy to read that you're doing fine and you were able to walk away knowing you were true to yourself and you did your best. Onward and upward. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sorry to hear things didn't work out with him Kamille, glad you are handling things well. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 thats a shame kammie... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sorry to read it didn't work out, Kam. Happy to read that you're doing fine and you were able to walk away knowing you were true to yourself and you did your best. Onward and upward. Great advice. I'm sorry to hear this, K, but you're an amazing and strong woman, and you'll be fine, I know you will. You're handling it remarkably well already. {{hugs}} Link to post Share on other sites
torn_curtain Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I'm sorry, Kamille. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 He's one helluva fool to let you get away. Link to post Share on other sites
denise_xo Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 He's one helluva fool to let you get away. +1 to that. I'm sorry Kamille but glad that you sound relatively together about it. *hug* Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well, I just had a meltdown, but at least I know I generally feel okay about it. The sad thing is, after a series of somewhat long term relationships (1 year, 3 years, 8 months and now 2 years), I am now a pro at dealing with heartbreak. Thank you all for your kind words of support. Hurt ego aside, it was kind of ridiculous to hope to make a long distance relationship work on a long term basis. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sorry to hear that, Kamille. Nice to know you're available again though. Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I feel very sad. I know you are a lovely person from your presence here. I know you put much effort, consideration, respect and all your heart into your relationship. I do understand how the logistics infiltrated the emotional bond, and I know you will move upwards and onwards … but still, I have a heartache for you. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Nice to know you're available again though. Yes! The upshot is that now I can shamelessly flirt with you again . Although, warning, I'm not getting into another long distance relationship ever in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Hey Kamille.. Sorry to hear that you guys broke up.. If you need some chocolate to cheer you you up just let me know.. I just opened a fresh bag of Dove Dark Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Hey Kamille.. Sorry to hear that you guys broke up.. If you need some chocolate to cheer you you up just let me know.. I just opened a fresh bag of Dove Dark Send 'em on. I can't wait until this workday is over so I can go crash at home. My last class didn't go so well. I was hoping it would cheer me up, as teaching often does. It was a dud. Ah well, live and learn. Plus I handed in results today, so of course, a bunch of them are mad at me. I hate grading students. There's a long weekend coming up, fortunately. Managing heartbreak and teaching is tough. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Here's a few Dove.. and a few ***hugz*** Try not to let this get you down.. get some rest and eat right (dove of course) and let this weekend work it's magic... and try to do something for yourself that you haven't been doing.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 I just posted this in Cracker 21's thread. She asked me to explain why we broke up. So here's another, more detailed version of my first post. Ex and I have also exchanged a few emails today. Please note, I told him I need time to heal and would prefer no contact. Why we broke up: He admits himself that he slowly started detaching once it became obvious I was settling in the city where I live (in June). First he tried to live our relationship day by day. Things gradually got worse and worse. I didn't realize what was happening. He started focusing more and more on little negative things. Work seemed to get in the way more and more. Social obligations got in the way more and more. He became more and more distant. I sensed something was happening and started having trust issues, which only made him feel more distant. Then I spent the last few weeks feeling miserable until it all came to a head a few nights ago, when it became obvious to me that our relationship was no longer a priority for him. I broke things off. We discussed it all today, and he seems to agree with my interpretation of what happened, claiming the whole process was unconscious on his part. He would like us to be friends... He does have a head-start on distancing himself from me after all. I can't do it right now. I'm too hurt. If I was in the same headspace he was, maybe it would be possible, but I'm not. I'm still in love. Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Kamille, I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 If I was in the same headspace he was, maybe it would be possible, but I'm not. I'm still in love. That's too bad Kamille. I think you liked the guy but not sure about "love," or you'd have moved to be with him in his city by now. (Waiting for the new thread Kamille found love ). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 (Waiting for the new thread Kamille found love ). Ugh, the thought of dating makes me nauseous. All in due time, but dating is far down the list of priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Ugh, the thought of dating makes me nauseous. All in due time, but dating is far down the list of priorities. Yeah, I can imagine that. But historically you don't seem to last very long without a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Yeah, I can imagine that. But historically you don't seem to last very long without a relationship. You know, that's a very comforting thing to hear. Thanks Ariadne. The next guy will be amazing, is all I know. He'll somehow have to outshine this most recent ex. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You've obviously not been in an LDR/been in our situation it's not lack of love which prevents most people from moving to another country/state, it's usually circumstances; secure job, home, family, friends, kids, basically leaving everything you've built up and starting again, with no guarantee it will work out. Some people are lucky and don't have much holding them back from being able to move, others aren't so lucky and have many reasons why it's not possible to move, so please don't judge until you've been in our shoes. That's too bad Kamille. I think you liked the guy but not sure about "love," or you'd have moved to be with him in his city by now. (Waiting for the new thread Kamille found love ). Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 The thought of being with someone else repulsed me for few months after me and my ex split up, but it passes Ugh, the thought of dating makes me nauseous. All in due time, but dating is far down the list of priorities. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariadne Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 You've obviously not been in an LDR/been in our situation it's not lack of love which prevents most people from moving to another country/state, it's usually circumstances Hi, I was not familiar with your story so looked up your threads. I found this: It upsets me when others imply that a couple doesn't love each other enough to move or to give up major things in their lives, it's not that simple, circumstance mean it's not always possible to move, it's nothing to do with feelings not being strong enough. Sorry, didn't mean to upset you and sometimes others are wrong too. Good luck with your LDR and hope you'll be together soon. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I'm sorry Kam. I too am a "pro" at heart break, but it doesn't seem to get any easier dealing with it. I have to say, good for you for putting an end to something that you knew wasn't working. That's not always easy to do. Hugs. Link to post Share on other sites
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