Disrespect or am I overreacting?

[Chibaby]

I suppose it's just a matter of opinion, but if your current significant other wore a shirt given to them by their ex that said "I just joined the mile high club..." would you have the right to be pissed or would you be OK with that? I think it's rude, he thinks I'm overreacting. What do you think?

[magda]

Not very rude. It depends on his relationship with her and whether the shirt's true and when she gave it to him, and whether he wore it to church. It's pretty innocent just to wear it, IMO.

[daletom]

I pretty much agree with Magda. In most public places it wouldn't win any awards for good taste, regardless of any other circumstances. If you both (honestly) agree that it's mostly a joke, or worn mainly for the shock value, then you might find a similar shirt that says, "Wine me, dine me and 69 me!" to wear (only) on the occasions when he wears "Mile high". Or, if either of you get your kicks from being upset, find one that says "If you're RICH, then I'm SINGLE!". (Most screen print or airbrush t-shirt shops in a shopping mall can put these slogans on just about any article of clothing you bring in.)

 

I think a healthier approach would be for the two of you to select a pair of matching shirts and letter them with "Eat your heart out - I'm taken!", or "World's greatest lay - and spoken for.". Then agree to get rid of "Mile high" or relegate it to the keepsake trunk. (If you're gonna have sex outside of marriage, you'll have to come to grips with the fact that your partner has had, and enjoyed, other partners.)

 

If a lot of his friends, or your mutual acquaintances, know the whole story you might want to ask yourself where you fit in with the group. Is he carving notches, and competing with his buddies to see who runs up the biggest score? If he's after attention and approval you probably can't change his nature, but you can work on changing the source of where he gets attention and approval from.

[UCFKevin]

I don't think it's a big deal.

 

If you're mad at him for having the shirt, doesn't that kinda infer that you're mad at him for having sex before you and he got together?

[Kat]

It is a shirt. It is probably just a few cuts of material held togeather by cotton/or the like.

 

It is a shirt, not a porno, not a nakid photo of the ex, and definately not something you should be having a stress attack over.

 

I have a jacket I got off an old ex when I was in highschool. 6+ years later I still wear it, to me it is a jacket not a keepsake.

 

Maybe you should start looking at it as a shirt and not a keepsake too, because I am pretty sure he does

[ladyangel]

If the guy actually DID join the mile high club, and if he did it with this old girlfriend and wears the shirt "advertising" this fact, I would be ticked off about it. I think it's rude and disrespectful to you.

 

On the other hand, if it's just a joke t-shirt with no memories behind it, I wouldn't worry about it.

[simplybrill]

I guess that would depend on your guy and whether or not you've got a gut feeling on this one.

 

My ex used to keep around this blanket that his ex MADE for him...which irked the hell out of me...and I told him that, and he still has it,,,to this day. He used to mock me and say, "are you really jealous of a blanket??" - but the point wasnt the blanket its the fact that he kept it around and put that doubt i my mind that he was theoretically still holding onto HER.

 

I went thru the whole t-shirt thing too, my ex used to wear this "chick magnet" shirt...im like so...what, you're STILL looking for chicks when you have a gf?

 

Its just a jerky thing to do, its not really respectful to you, cuz its from his ex, and cuz ppl will wonder if you slept with him, which isnt a big deal...but to me the whole world doesnt really need to know the intimate details of your relationship, know what I mean?