cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 he broke up with me this morning..he said he cant make me happy, which is true, mainly becuase i cant handle the distance. tears on both sides. im beyond heartbroken. thanks to everyone who gave me advice over the last year. wish you all the best of luck with your LDR's x Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 ((cracker 21)). We'll get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 plenty more fish an all that! Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 plenty more fish an all that! When a relationship brings more unhappiness than happiness, it is time to say goodbye. We both deserve to be happy, don't we? In the long term, it will all make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 hope you're okay cracker. thinking of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 When a relationship brings more unhappiness than happiness, it is time to say goodbye. We both deserve to be happy, don't we? In the long term, it will all make sense. So true Rooting for you both! Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Can't stop looking at my email and phone .. Hoping for contact:( Link to post Share on other sites
wildgeese Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Can't stop looking at my email and phone .. Hoping for contact:( I'm so sorry to hear this. I know it's difficult even if it's the right thing in the long run. Which I'm positive it is! Sometimes it helps me to just turn my phone on silent or even completely off for a while if I feel tempted. Then go see a movie or meet up with a friend or something to keep yourself occupied. Keep your chin up. You've totally got this. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Can't stop looking at my email and phone .. Hoping for contact:( How did you leave things? I asked my ex (gulp, first time I call him that) to understand that I am hurt and that, for the time being, I prefer we have no contact. I need to heal, and I want to focus on healing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Kamille.. we spoke on Skype I said probably better if we hav no contact and he said if that's what you want. After our break up Skype call I txt saying I thought he was the one and I loved him.. He replied when he woke saying "me too" We exchanged a few txt messages him saying basically that he is sorry things ended this way etc..but gave no indication he wants to try again.there was no baby, babes,Hun, etc in his txts either. I sent the last reply and haven't heard anything since. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 (edited) I have followed a bit of your story, and really, I think breaking up is probably for the best for you in the long run. It's going to mean you'll have to be strong. We both have to get through the emotional roller-coaster of the next few weeks. I wish there was a magic solution that could make us both skip dealing with the pain of losing someone we love. There isn't. The only solution I've found is to be good to myself, to put my well being first. I feel that if I was in touch with him, it would keep me hoping there was a solution, would hold me back in getting back to my normal happy self. One day it will all make sense. Edited October 5, 2011 by Kamille Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Partbof me thinks you are right. He just txt me saying I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you I love you. Not sure what he is feeling? Is he clinging on to what we have also ? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Partbof me thinks you are right. He just txt me saying I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you I love you. Not sure what he is feeling? Is he clinging on to what we have also ? Looks like you're both hurting. I guess the question is this: would the LDR situation and its problems change if you worked through this? In my case, the answer is a clear no, so I know I have to move on. What about you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 I really don't know.. I do find the distance very hard. Why did ye break-up if you don't mind me asking? Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I really don't know.. I do find the distance very hard. Why did ye break-up if you don't mind me asking? The short answer is that we broke up because we didn't see how we could ever make our paths converge. The long answer is this: He admits himself that he slowly started detaching once it became obvious I was settling in the city where I live (in June). First he tried to live our relationship day by day. Things gradually got worse and worse. I didn't realize what was happening. He started focusing more and more on little negative things. Work seemed to get in the way more and more. Social obligations got in the way more and more. He became more and more distant. I sensed something was happening and started having trust issues, which only made him feel more distant. Then I spent the last few weeks feeling miserable until it all came to a head a few nights ago, when it became obvious to me that our relationship was no longer a priority for him. I broke things off. We discussed it all today, and he seems to agree with my interpretation of what happened, claiming the whole process was unconscious on his part. He would like us to be friends... He does have a head-start on distancing himself from me after all. I can't do it right now. I'm too hurt. If I was in the same headspace he was, maybe it would be possible, but I'm not. I'm still in love. Ouf, sorry, guess I needed to get that off my chest. I'll copy it to my own thread. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 So sorry to hear about your break up, and even though you've not sounded happy lately because of the distance, and you know there's probably no way of making it work, it still hurts In your heart do you feel this r/ship could make you happy with no end to the distance in sight? I may well be asking myself this at some point, I don't know. It's sad you both took a while to say you loved each other, you held off saying it until he said it, maybe he was doing the same thing, men have insecurities just as much as women, and I don't agree that men should have to be the one to say it first. Maybe he felt insecure because you didn't say it. You said it eventually I think? Just wondering, cos if you didn't maybe it made him more unsure, when added to the fact you kept trying to break up with him after each visit, not putting blame on you, but just wondering how things might have looked to him? I would stop contact for a while at least, otherwise the heartache will drag on indefinitely (been there, done that) unless you both think you can find a way to make things work, but please just make sure you're being realistic, and bear in mind that you haven't been happy because of the distance. Keep posting, and hugs to you and Kamille Partbof me thinks you are right. He just txt me saying I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you I love you. Not sure what he is feeling? Is he clinging on to what we have also ? Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I didn't log on yesterday and the first thing I see this morning is two break up stories!!! I'm so sorry cracker. Going by your posts on LS you obviously weren't happy in the relationship, even though you clearly love each other. Your bf seems to have realised that nothing is going to change so it's better to move on. If you can't be together and you can't handle the distance then he is probably right. Big hugs ((((cracker)))) Link to post Share on other sites
LDR234 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'm sorry to hear about your break-ups. I'm new to this forum and started my LDR a few months ago. These forums are helpful. These break-ups are definitely painful, but they are definitely good learning experiences, and a good way to let your feelings out. in my previous relationships (non-LDRs) I never showed my pain to my friends and family. I was always viewed as the strong one in the family and I could never bring myself to admit to being upset about my 2yr relationship ending. Talking through this forum is a good way to let it out :/ You will both get through this soon Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 thanks little tiger and girls. im trying my hardest to accept that this is for the best. i love him.last night was the first time i didnt txt good night and this morning he didnt txt good night. the thoughts of him being with another girl after me makes me feel sick. spent the whole night checking facebbok, email,skype, my phone hoping he will reconsider. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 ((((((((hugs))))))) Cracker, hope you are ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Can't eat...lost about 4lbs in 3days . I want him to miss me so much that he wants me back,.. Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Can't eat...lost about 4lbs in 3days . I want him to miss me so much that he wants me back,.. ((cracker)) Chin up! Get some greek yogurt. I find it easy to digest and the great thing is that it's high in protein. As for me, I'm currently wishing the world wasn't such a big place. That, or that a teleporter wasn't just some nifty visual effect on Star Trek. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Tele porter... And a time machine would suffice... I have yoghurt..I get hungry but when I try to eat I just can't.. I feel empty and numb I have been through heart break before... A very bad one... Broke my fiancé heart,,my parents hearts...his parents hearts... So I know il get through this.. I just never thought I'd be in this position again. I thought he was the one.. Silly Billy me Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Aww, cracker {hugs} How are you feeling today? Link to post Share on other sites
Author cracker2011 Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 constantly fighting the tears... in work ..not in work...cant eat..cant sleep wondering is he thinking of me. did he ever reeally love me. Thinking will he be going out tonight .. and if he is..will he be with another girl? wondering if he did love me as he said..and he said he tought that i was going to be the "one" ..why did he not let me move over. Is saying that we were too unstable most of the time ( he meant me actually-which i was) an excuse because maybe deep down he knew that infact i wasnt the one. keep hoping he will contact me saying he wants me back. this is the first 24hrs we have gone without no contact in nearly a year Link to post Share on other sites
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