lost_in_chgo Posted May 15, 2004 Share Posted May 15, 2004 Anyone here ever get dumped by someone who was recently divorced and get back together with them later? Get dumped by their partner right before their divorce was finalized? Link to post Share on other sites
shellgranado Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 he was playing you forget them move on with your life you dont need to be in that mess anyway Link to post Share on other sites
whatswrong23 Posted May 19, 2004 Share Posted May 19, 2004 ok, I did that. The reason why recently divorced people do that is because for the first time in a long time they are FINALLY FREE! So for me, I felt that maybe I needed to get used to having my maiden name back and try being legally single for awhile....but, now I don't want that anymore. And whats crazy is that I have not dated anyone or had sex with anyone since I got divorced and I want my boyfriend back but it looks like he is pissed off at me and he was a good guy. Sometimes you just got to get used to your own thoughts and that is what my problem was now that I look back on it. I wish you two would get back together...maybe then that would give me some hope! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lost_in_chgo Posted May 31, 2004 Author Share Posted May 31, 2004 hey whats... what was the timeframe for you to reconsider the boyfriend? how long after the divorce and how long until you changed your mind and wanted him back? Did you have the same thoughts about the ex husband? Link to post Share on other sites
Goldmund2004 Posted June 6, 2004 Share Posted June 6, 2004 I posted this in another thread but the best advice I got from the counselor I hired for my now ex-wife and I, but when she didn't show up I went by myself, was that you should wait a year before "dating" (other than friendly social outings, etc.) and especially before having sex after the separation. And, I would recommend not dating anyone who hasn't been separated (i.e., permanently separated, not the "First" time of several) at least a year. Speaking from experience, they are either a) horny because the last year of a failed marriage is usually sexless or b) looking for confirmation they aren't a total loser or c) trying to make the ex jealous. Any one of these is a reason not to date someone, and getting divorced makes you crazy for a while. As someone who got divorced last winter, believe me do not date someone who has just been divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
Balsinor Posted June 12, 2004 Share Posted June 12, 2004 I was recently told by my wife that she wants a divorce. This is the last thing that I ever want. She says it is dead and has been for a long time. We had great sex two nights before she made her announcement. I don't understand. We had our issues like any couple does. She said it was because we fought too much. We have two children and I don't want to break up. How can I win her back? We were together for almost eight years, married over six. What do I do? Is it possible to win her back? I'm hurting a lot because I don't want this. I cry a lot and she sees some of it. She wrote me e-mails recently that said "I love you" "I want us to work out" I don't get it. I know there is no one else. We both had troubled childhoods and now she says she just wants to be free. Any help is appreciated. Couples therapists welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
ready2moveon26 Posted June 13, 2004 Share Posted June 13, 2004 I am quite a bit like you. I have been seperated from my husband of (almost) 4 years for four months. At first, my husband and I agreed to everything and were ready to do this. We became friends and decided that we are much better friends than husband and wife. We became close again and I ended up staying at his house quite a bit. I was living with my parents and got a full time job so couldn't be there as much as before so he got a girlfriend. Since he got this girl, he's been very distant and we began to fight even more than we ever did when we were together. I have been on several dates trying to move on as he did but I just can't do it. I was a little wild at first...like everyone is...I made some friends and hung out with people I normally wouldn't hang out with, but I am done with that now and want so badly for my husband to become the man he was when we got married. I worked so hard to get what I've always wanted...a family and although it was my decision as well, he stole that away from me. We've seperated before and I just figured this time would be like the last and we'd get back together after he had a horrible holiday. (We got back together last time the day after Christmas) I don't think I really gave him a chance this time to have a horrible holiday because at Easter we were still close and I was there at his family's easter and he was there at my family's easter. I went on a "real date" last night and I found EVERYTHING that I could possibly find wrong with this guy. It annoyed me so badly that I began looking at other guys. This isn't the first time this has happened either. I've had a few other dates, "friends at the bar" and when I was alone with the guys, each one annoyed me to the point that I didn't want to be there anymore. I want my husband back cause he is the man I want. Although he has hurt me before, I can't seem to get past the fact that I love him and I know he loves me. We do have a 3 year old daughter so we're civil to one another but not as close as I'd like. What do I do? The wait a year thing...I don't agree...I think when you have the chance, jump on it...you never know when you'll meet your soul mate...I don't mean meet someone, "fall in love", and get married a month later, but I do mean...don't put a time frame on something like this...you never know what will happen tomorrow. Link to post Share on other sites
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