purplepanda Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually... Could you exlain those for the sexually ignorant? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Compromise is always, always required when two people have sex for the long term. why would one want to have sex with the same person long-term??? Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 why would one want to have sex with the same person long-term??? Because you get to have other benefits of a long-term relationship, too. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually... Could you exlain those for the sexually ignorant? Ever hear of this nifty device called google? If you don't want those searches on your computer, I'll explain.... Scat = feces ATM = ass-to-mouth (said person is willing to give fellatio after anal insertion) Bukake = Japanese term for literally drenching a girl in ejaculatory fluid Facials = same as bukake, only more intimate (bukake tends to involve group scenes) Golden Showers = being urinated on Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 That hasn't been my experience at all. In all of my relationships, I've always given more oral then I received. My experience has been that men are more interested in getting "theres" then giving. This is something represented in porn as well. Men don't want to see a woman enjoying receiving oral (unless it's from a big breasted lesbian) more then they want to see a guy getting his. I also have encountered very fiew men that have good oral technique. Only one ex made me orgasm from his mouth. The other ones never really seemed to know what they were doing or would even do things that where painful. I swear they picked up some of their moves from things they seen in porn. When I was younger, I was too afraid to speak up because I was more worried about their pleasure and feelings then my own. Seriously? I feel a little sorry for you, in that case! Going down on a woman is one of my favourite things in the world, and (if I may blow my own trumpet here) it shows in the results. I've never failed to make a girl come via that route. And no, I never stop. I'm single minded in my pursuit of your goal. Indeed, I would rather give than receive (imagine that?) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Because you get to have other benefits of a long-term relationship, too. screw that baloney...i'm done with LTRs Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 why would one want to have sex with the same person long-term??? . . . screw that baloney...i'm done with LTRs As if promiscuity is satisfying for everyone I'd rather learn my partner's body and have ample time to explore it and please it over and over again... along with the security that I have a safe, yummy, sex partner --- who is also a wonderful companion for me (and know they appreciate all the same in return) Besides, sleeping around to me, devalues the potential intimacy and meaning sex can have. Which also helps to arouse me... so it's also counter-productive. Link to post Share on other sites
mrgoodcat Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Oral sex is a minimum. There are other places that certain women are willing to go. It's dirty, but beyond sexy. Yeah, those are the keepers. Wow, I got a woody just typing all this. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Seriously? I feel a little sorry for you, in that case! Going down on a woman is one of my favourite things in the world, and (if I may blow my own trumpet here) it shows in the results. I've never failed to make a girl come via that route. And no, I never stop. I'm single minded in my pursuit of your goal. Indeed, I would rather give than receive (imagine that?) Yes, I'm no stranger to men touting their skills. Whether they really exemplify those skills is another issue. Most men think they are wonderful lovers. Most men aren't. SOME men certainly really are wonderful lovers. You very well could be one of those men! But, it gets old hearing men say how wonderful they are in the bedroom because it's usually all born out of ego and not reall enjoyment or satisfaction in partnered sex. Oh by the way, just because you 'never stop and your "single minded in your pursuit", doesn't always make that a good thing. Sometimes it's just tiring and annoying. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Why is it that men can "expect" oral in a relationship but I can't "expect" a man to pay? Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Why is it that men can "expect" oral in a relationship but I can't "expect" a man to pay? women expect a lot of things out of relationships...to be frank men expect very little Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wow, I got a woody just typing all this. good for you Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs whenever my man wants them or just "on a whim" to take care of him. Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now? A blowjob is not necessary for me. The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. I've done it a few times but it's ALL he asks for and doesn't reciprocate. Those guys are using you for pleasure, but aren't in relationship oriented phases of their lives. They're just not telling you, because that would sabotage them from receiving more BJ's. You have to look for signals that indicate a guy likes being around you, just for being around you and not when he knows the payoff will be sex. If I really like a girl/woman then I just enjoy being around her and interacting with her, I then enjoy her personality. That takes the cake for me. In my opinion sex is more more like icing on the cake, rather than the cake itself. I want and need the cake so to speak, otherwise I don't see how I can bond myself to her for a relationship. Just the icing doesn't do it for me, not if the goal is a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Nonsense. Men might not be as complicated as women make them. But men are neither as simple as they make themeslves. Men expect a bit of their own likes, dislikes and quarks. Men aren't monolithic zombies that all like and want the same things. Except for the men that make a point to say that they can make sandwiches for themselves (congrats?) so they just need a woman around for oral. Which is really one of the most misognistic things I've heard in a while discounting certain specefic posters around here. Link to post Share on other sites
Dusk1983 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Oh by the way, just because you 'never stop and your "single minded in your pursuit", doesn't always make that a good thing. Sometimes it's just tiring and annoying. As I thought. You're going to bed with amateurs. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Why is it that men can "expect" oral in a relationship but I can't "expect" a man to pay? Beats me, to be honest. Then again, to be fair, there have been women here posting about their bf not being comfortable with giving them oral sex and getting many replies of 'dump the loser!'. So I guess the delusion of expectation goes both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 As I thought. You're going to bed with amateurs. I don't think my experience is so out of the world. Have you slepted with men yourself? When men's goal is to make a woman orgasm and she just isn't, and he keeps going at it over and over and over again..this is when women fake orgasms. The man sits back feeling statisfied with himself and his woman is secretly rolling her eyes saying "finally he got off of me". This is why men NEED to make her orgasm an important part of the sexual experience but not make it into something she has to perform so he feels good about himself. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Beats me, to be honest. Then again, to be fair, there have been women here posting about their bf not being comfortable with giving them oral sex and getting many replies of 'dump the loser!'. So I guess the delusion of expectation goes both ways. Fair enough Elswyth. I guess I'm just surprised just how important it is to people. I enjoy giving oral to a man I'm in a relationship with but if I didn't, I don't really see how that's reason enough to dump me if our relationship is working in other ways. And I guess the "expect" word is a turn off for both men and women because when we "expect" something, it's rather unattractive. Whether that be in bjs or paying for dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I don't think my experience is so out of the world. Have you slepted with men yourself? When men's goal is to make a woman orgasm and she just isn't, and he keeps going at it over and over and over again..this is when women fake orgasms. The man sits back feeling statisfied with himself and his woman is secretly rolling her eyes saying "finally he got off of me". This is why men NEED to make her orgasm an important part of the sexual experience but not make it into something she has to perform so he feels good about himself. I agree completely with this, actually, although I don't think it's necessarily what the poster you quoted might mean. I absolutely hate it when guys feel like the woman not orgasming or taking a long time to orgasm is a reflection of their 'skills' though... it's not. The female orgasm is complex, and especially without direct clitoral stimulation, is dependent on a huge number of factors. I think most men, even the ones who will wait patiently and try any number of methods, succumb to this sort of 'desire to perform', and I wish they wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
radiodarcy Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 If I really like a girl/woman then I just enjoy being around her and interacting with her, I then enjoy her personality. That takes the cake for me. In my opinion sex is more more like icing on the cake, rather than the cake itself. I want and need the cake so to speak, otherwise I don't see how I can bond myself to her for a relationship. Just the icing doesn't do it for me, not if the goal is a relationship. this is refreshing to hear. so far most of the men i come across just want the icing. it gets frustrating after awhile but this give me hope Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Why is it that men can "expect" oral in a relationship but I can't "expect" a man to pay? Because that would make us prostitutes and johns? Don't most women expect oral, too? OP, you are better off alone than in a relationship where you are expected to give something that you don't want to give. In the right relationship, this won't be an issue because you will want to give. And take Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 this is refreshing to hear. so far most of the men i come across just want the icing. it gets frustrating after awhile but this give me hope There are quite a few men like that around, IMHO, not all of them are like 'alphamale'. One just needs to know where to find them. They aren't usually the most suave or hottest guy in the club. Most of them don't even enjoy going to clubs. But they're the guys for me, and I wouldn't exchange this sort of guy for any Don Juan in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I guess I'm just surprised just how important it is to people. I enjoy giving oral to a man I'm in a relationship with but if I didn't, I don't really see how that's reason enough to dump me if our relationship is working in other ways. And I guess the "expect" word is a turn off for both men and women because when we "expect" something, it's rather unattractive. Whether that be in bjs or paying for dates. I think that would be up to him to decide whether or not he felt it was a deal breaker. Everyone has their own expectations or requirements in a relationship. Some people like spending lots of time together, others are ok with seeing each other once a week or less. Expecting oral sex is no different. If someone likes receiving oral sex and their partner doesn't like giving it then there is a chance that the two of them are not compatible. Happens. I'm not going to say that it's good or bad, just a preference. Link to post Share on other sites
Author azsinglegal Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 (edited) We have a pretty damn good relationship. He's actually not a dick about me not doing it, but he brings it up alot, mostly in a joking way but it's starting to really get on my nerves. Like I'm going to break down and do it whenever he wants just to shut him up - which is probably his goal. LOL We do spend quality time together and I know he wants me around for more than just that. The two times I *did* do it, the first time I REALLY enjoyed it, he even thanked me when he was done and it made me feel so awesome...I wanted to do it more. But then the next time it had been over a week since he even jerked off and there was SO MUCH it gagged the back of my throat and I had to run to the sink. I almost threw up. After that...I lost interest. I have asked him not to wait so long and I'd do it more, but when I bring it up he gets pissed...so I just don't anymore. To the person who asked if I had a bad experience - the answer is yes, as a teenager, more than once...and after that I just didn't ever want to do it. Edited October 6, 2011 by azsinglegal Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I have asked him not to wait so long and I'd do it more, but when I bring it up he gets pissed...so I just don't anymore. . Or just have him tell you when he is ready to "finish"....and you can move. Are you sure it is that important to him that you "complete" the job? Given the choice between rare complete and frequent almost-complete....a lot of guys would take the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
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