FrustratedStandards Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Personally, I love giving them. BUT, my problem is some men smell really bad. And I don't mean hygiene. I once dated a guy for several months who would come out of the shower, and I would go down on him. But his secretions smelt so awful, after that I never went down on him again. I know he wants me to, and I want to, but I can't say "You smell horrible". I think that's worse, wanting to go down on your man and not being able to because the smell is just THAT bad. Link to post Share on other sites
bac Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. I've done it a few times but it's ALL he asks for and doesn't reciprocate. I'm not eliminating anything except a few things, scat, atm, bukake, facials, and golden showers. I'm pretty open sexually... It depends on a man. It is definitely a requirement for your guy. But, there are some other guys who might not care for BJs or any sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Ebony78 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I adore oral, both giving and receiving and it's an important part of sex for me. If a guy refused to go down on me, I wouldn't consider a relationship with him so I'd expect him to be the same if I wouldn't give blow jobs. As it's him ejaculating in your mouth that is putting you off, why not just ask him to give you fair warning and you can move your mouth and let him shoot all over you instead? Link to post Share on other sites
Author azsinglegal Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 I adore oral, both giving and receiving and it's an important part of sex for me. If a guy refused to go down on me, I wouldn't consider a relationship with him so I'd expect him to be the same if I wouldn't give blow jobs. As it's him ejaculating in your mouth that is putting you off, why not just ask him to give you fair warning and you can move your mouth and let him shoot all over you instead? He said it's not a requirement, but I know it really is. Link to post Share on other sites
antinko Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I'll only date someone who likes giving it and I like returning it too - it's all part of the intimacy for me. I'd find it a bit uncomfortable if a girl said she'd do it to me, but that she really hated it. The enjoyment in giving and receiving needs to be mutual for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I agree completely with this, actually, although I don't think it's necessarily what the poster you quoted might mean. I absolutely hate it when guys feel like the woman not orgasming or taking a long time to orgasm is a reflection of their 'skills' though... it's not. The female orgasm is complex, and especially without direct clitoral stimulation, is dependent on a huge number of factors. I think most men, even the ones who will wait patiently and try any number of methods, succumb to this sort of 'desire to perform', and I wish they wouldn't. Well said Elswyth. Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Personally, I love giving them. BUT, my problem is some men smell really bad. And I don't mean hygiene. I once dated a guy for several months who would come out of the shower, and I would go down on him. But his secretions smelt so awful, after that I never went down on him again. I know he wants me to, and I want to, but I can't say "You smell horrible". I think that's worse, wanting to go down on your man and not being able to because the smell is just THAT bad. well unless a woman has washed within the last couple hours, the cooch will start to smell like a chinese fish market. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 well unless a woman has washed within the last couple hours, the cooch will start to smell like a chinese fish market. Ummmm, only if she has some kind of infection. A vagina should not naturally have a distinctively fishy / foul odor. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 But you expect to be courted and pursued as well. OT: It's not that getting tons of blowjobs in itself is a dealbreaker. It is a dealbreaker if your lady finds your private parts too disgusting to give oral to. Which is basicly the case when a woman doesn't give blowjobs. And I wouldn't try and convince a woman who doesn't like it to do it either, because that would take the enjoyment out of it if I knew she actually just thought it was gross and hated doing it. I'd just end things and try to find a woman who is less prudeish. I'd like to be courted and pursued. If a man doesn't do that, I don't know if he is really interested in me. Men invest time and energy in women they are interested in. But it's usually a dance that goes back and forth. Give and take. I could see how it would be off putting if you felt your lady wasn't intersted in your penis too much. But ultimately, like other's have said, it comes down to what you are willing to accept in a relationship and what you are willing to compromise on. Link to post Share on other sites
wezol Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Ex Wife wouldn't give BJ's, I can count on one hand how many I got in the 5 1/2 years together, even those weren't enjoyable because she didn't enjoy it, and would stop after about 3 minutes. To add to that though, she never tried anything else, sex was always mechanical, she would finish before me, get too "sensitive" so I would stop, then left it up to ME to finish myself. Oh, but she was all fine with me going down on her. I loved every inch of her and exploring her whole body...but she never returned the favor. She was also selfish in many other aspects of our marriage. Had she been GREAT in bed in many other ways and giving in many other ways, then not having BJ's would not of been a huge deal, because I loved her. My next gf...better like em...and it will very enthusiastically be returned. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Nonsense. Men might not be as complicated as women make them. But men are neither as simple as they make themeslves. Men expect a bit of their own likes, dislikes and quarks. Men aren't monolithic zombies that all like and want the same things. Except for the men that make a point to say that they can make sandwiches for themselves (congrats?) so they just need a woman around for oral. Which is really one of the most misognistic things I've heard in a while discounting certain specefic posters around here. You're a misandrist. You're also disingenuous. I said oral was the thing we can't do for ourselves. I never said it was "the only reason we need a woman around." I did say it is the one thing we really require you to DO. You act like I don't care about things like intimacy or companionship. That is nonsense. I just don't see those things as being the same, in that they are mutual and not some kind of request or service. I feel sorry for you, going through life spinning mens' statements in the worst possible way, to perpetuate gender warfare and justify your hatred of men. I also feel sorry for any man that gets involved with you. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I adore oral i like birds like you Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 ChessPieceFace, you keep a white plastic hockey mass and chain saw in your closet don't ya. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I genuinely feel sorry for people who don't like oral - and not just sucking on intimate parts... After several bouts of bronchitis and strep throat, I admit that it is much harder for me to give good, deep oral without gagging, but that doesn't stop me from trying. Beyond simple sucking, there are so many things one can do with one's tongue on all parts of the body; behind the knees, behind the ears, in between toes, full-on sucking of fingers... I love exploring a man's body with my tongue and am a true sensualist when it comes to full experiencing as much as possible with many parts of my body - not just my fingers or vagina. And there is nothing like the look that a man gives you when you realize he is going to finish because of how great your technique is... Link to post Share on other sites
mike111 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 The guy I'm dating now asks for them all the time, it's starting to really piss me off. Tell him to go blow! haha. But seriously, have you told him? He sounds like a bit of a selfish jerk, to me. By the way, I can live without a blowjob. It's not a requirement for me. But it's fun to just play around like that once in a while Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I have never given my current bf head. He asked for it once and I wasn't in the mood. He never asked again and I never offered. I did it before (with other guys) but can't say that I enjoy it or that it does much for me. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs whenever my man wants them or just "on a whim" to take care of him. Why is this a requirement? I honestly don't like doing it and I don't like it being expected of me. I've never been with a man who gets me off just "on a whim" or to "take care of me". Am I doomed to being single forever now? FWIW, I'm considered a nonhuman freak because the very idea of oral sex turns me off. After all, I'm a man, not a sea anemone. Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 I'm a woman. I found that once I learned to make my sexual satisfaction a priority and not an option in my sexual relationship, I stopped feeling so resentful about providing oral. I feel no negative feelings about my partner asking for it, because I feel entitled to do the same and I expect them to be just as willing as I am expected to be. I would not be with someone who isn't all about making sure I'm taken care of. It's degrading to have sex if it's not just as much about me and my pleasure as it is about him. If I'm in a sexual relationship, and the guy attempts getting off and leaving me hanging, I WILL say something - the first time -right then and there. Holding them tenderly, I will say, "I haven't orgasmed yet so let's do something for me." and if I'm no longer in the mood, I say "let's figure out a plan B, so that we can make sure I'm taken care of whenever I don't orgasm before you." You will have to communicate what you like and how they can get the job done for you. I had to get used to it, it gets easier, and it's worth it. You feel self respecting and empowered. If this were a problem for him, I would consider this a deal breaker and terminate the relationship. A relationship has to adequately meet all 4 types of needs: intellectual spiritual emotional physical Each one is as important as the other, and therefore if this guy cannot adequately meet my needs in the physical category, that's just not good enough. Once you know he's willing and able to meet your sexual needs (and you feel that lovely fuzzy warm feeling of knowing he prioritizes your satisfaction), you might feel quite nice about giving him his bjs. Very well said! Damnit, why couldn't I have articulated my earlier post like this instead of saying something and getting ripped a new one?! But yes, I like the way you said that your sexual satisfaction is of utmost importance and a priority. Just because I'm a man shouldn't make me feel like a misogynist for wanting to be sexually sastified either. As I love pleasing a woman as much as I love to be pleased. Link to post Share on other sites
OliveOyl Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Beyond simple sucking, there are so many things one can do with one's tongue on all parts of the body; behind the knees, behind the ears, in between toes, full-on sucking of fingers... In all my life I've never done that. [reminds self to check for toe lint next time...] Link to post Share on other sites
wheream_i Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hmmm, dunno. I guess it depends on how you are as far as the other departments are concerned. So for example, if you are amazing sex wise as far as everything else is concerned, then maybe for some guys it wont be a problem. Bbeing amazing sex-wise includes giving great head. If you don't give head, much less, great head, then you aren't amazing sex-wise. Simple as that. Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Bbeing amazing sex-wise includes giving great head. If you don't give head, much less, great head, then you aren't amazing sex-wise. Simple as that. In your opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
ThsAmericanLife Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 In your opinion. Well.. ok... but as I tell my younger male friends... There will come a time when your d*ck is going to stop cooperating. If a man can't pleasure me in other ways besides his penis... I'm going to lose interest. So will most women once said guy gets past a certain age... Depending on the fitness level of the guy... it starts in mid-40's somewhere. Alot of men drop off a cliff in terms of ability to hold a decent erection for long once they get into their 50's. Time to practice all that great oral is when you are young enough to have other options... Link to post Share on other sites
Nexus One Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Well.. ok... but as I tell my younger male friends... There will come a time when your d*ck is going to stop cooperating. If a man can't pleasure me in other ways besides his penis... I'm going to lose interest. So will most women once said guy gets past a certain age... Depending on the fitness level of the guy... it starts in mid-40's somewhere. Alot of men drop off a cliff in terms of ability to hold a decent erection for long once they get into their 50's. Time to practice all that great oral is when you are young enough to have other options... I wasn't referring to giving oral as a man to a woman. I was talking about receiving it as a guy. Not all guys require it, that's what I meant. wheream_i seems to require it, personally I don't. So it's a matter of opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
mr.dream merchant Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Only thing worse than no head is bad head. Ugh. Just get off of me, I'm going to masturbate. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 The girls I've been with that didn't give head weren't any good at sex either and tended to just not be as sexual. Guys here who say that they are indifferent to or do not like receiving oral sex have probably never encountered a woman who can throw a good one. Link to post Share on other sites
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