Els Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 To be fair, in my first post here I said 'many of you', I did not quote you. It was you who responded to me. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 The mental aspect of not getting it, that the woman somehow thinks it's a bit too gross to do, that the male genitals are "dirty". Not every woman who doesn't enjoy giving oral thinks that male genitals are "dirty" and "gross." There are multiple reasons why different women might not like it, among them being a tendency to vomit upon triggering the gag reflex (how sexy would that be?) and psychological hang-ups from prior bad experiences, including abusive ones. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Nothing is wrong with a woman who doesn't want to give oral. But that gives me the right to reject her, based on that criteria. Just as me being a virgin, being overweight, wearing glasses, not being 6 feet tall, having brown hair and brown eyes, or any other superficial and shallow criteria gives her reason to reject ME. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Nothing is wrong with a woman who doesn't want to give oral. But that gives me the right to reject her, based on that criteria. Just as me being a virgin, being overweight, wearing glasses, not being 6 feet tall, having brown hair and brown eyes, or any other superficial and shallow criteria gives her reason to reject ME. Precisely. I don't get why so many people don't get this. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I get it. I definitely do. Frankly, it's easy to sit on an internet forum and post about how it's a dealbreaker. Like someone else said, maybe that person was abused? Maybe they need therapy? Maybe they're just not sexually compatible with you? I've met men who don't like the idea of oral sex. Me, I've always loved it. But if someone can reject me for something I can't control, I can reject her for something she can't control. That might sound heartless, but I'm discovering that love isn't all rainbows and butterflies, like I was raised to believe that it was. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 Nothing is wrong with a woman who doesn't want to give oral. But that gives me the right to reject her, based on that criteria. Just as me being a virgin, being overweight, wearing glasses, not being 6 feet tall, having brown hair and brown eyes, or any other superficial and shallow criteria gives her reason to reject ME. I'm not sure that it's necessarily "shallow" (and that's often used as a pejorative term) but people are free to make arbitrary choices, or choices for reasons you or I won't understand, and that includes which sex acts they want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted October 8, 2011 Share Posted October 8, 2011 I'm being told by SEVERAL friends that the reason I'm still single is because I don't give BJs IF you have "SEVERAL" *friends* who all know that you "don't give BJ's"... then there is a lot more abrew than your partners not receiving BJ's. All I can do is laugh when I think of the opposite scenario where some significant number of my *friends* would 'know' that I "don't give oral sex to women". (for clarity here - I love going down on a woman !!! - but my 'friends' don't need to know THAT either!!) The firm-seeming stance you have is probably more indicative of your fate than are any BJ's that you have, haven't, or might give(n). Link to post Share on other sites
torn_curtain Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) If I'm really into a guy, I LOVE giving head. There is nothing nicer to me than curling my lips around the head, running one hand up and down his shaft while I cradle his balls in the other. Mmmm..... I'm not so much into deep throating, though. I gag easily. Edited October 9, 2011 by torn_curtain Link to post Share on other sites
antidote Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 If I'm really into a guy, I LOVE giving head. There is nothing nicer to me than curling my lips around the head, running one hand up and down his shaft while I cradle his balls in the other. Mmmm..... I'm not so much into deep throating, though. I gag easily. this post brings me much glee lol I personally feel no head may just be a deal breaker especially after reading posts like this. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Well, to be honest, I wouldn't stay with someone that didn't enjoy going down on me. It's my number one turn on and I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone that wasn't into it. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 It would be required for me.. Oh and MrNate is back in the building:cool: Tha ban has been lifted, let's go "downtown" and celebrate:lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
xoxoDaniellexoxo Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 It would be required for me.. Oh and MrNate is back in the building:cool: Welcome back!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Again, I am going to reiterate my point about "expectations". And how a number of men here, some, the same men in another post that were up in arms about expectations placed on them, have pretty much said that oral sex is an "expectation" they place on a woman within a relationship. Some men here have even gone as for to call women B*tches or refer to women in the general term of B*tch or mention more abusive and aggressive sexual acts directed to women as if it's funny when women are treated violently through sex. If in the other thread that was earmarked for the whole "who pays" debate, and women started refering to men in names to get their point across, or joking about abusing men in this manner, I think a number of men would have been mighty unhappy and vocal about the injustice of it. Yet here, in a thread about expectations about oral sex, where other men are openly calling women names and refering to abusive sexual acts toward women, not one man stood up and said "Dude, that's not cool". Nexus said: I'd be fine with it. Besides, I too have my turn-offs. I wouldn't want to do anything sexual involving blood, sh*t or urine. When was blood, sh*t or urine ever things considered turn ons? What kind of porn are you looking at that these are the only things you draw a sexual boundry at? And how many other men here thought the same? Don't tell me that people aren't spending too much time looking at porn when your only turn-offs are blood, sh*t or urine. And don't tell me men aren't spending too much time looking at porn when gettting bjs are more important then any other aspect in a relationship. And to you BigQuestion, who thought quoting Chris Rock a good point, I am truly amazed by this. Chris Rock is rather known for his sexest and what he feels is "truth in jest" jokes. So it's ironic to me a man that is so much about equality and treating men and women equal when it comes to gender specific acts men are expected to traditionally do, took the most sexest comic he could to express what he thought a woman should do for him. Please remember your own expectations within a relationship before condemning women that have theirs. Whether they be about a man paying or any other subject such as your personal expectation about oral. CocoaBrown After reading several of Pierre's posts, I believe he needs to be cloned and sent to me ASAP!  Yes I agree CocaBrown. Pierre appears to be one stand up kind of guy and I wouln't mind a cloned version of him myself. Link to post Share on other sites
eatNrM Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 Tha ban has been lifted, let's go "downtown" and celebrate:lmao: I'm back balls deep baby. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 And to you BigQuestion, who thought quoting Chris Rock a good point, I am truly amazed by this. Chris Rock is rather known for his sexest and what he feels is "truth in jest" jokes. So it's ironic to me a man that is so much about equality and treating men and women equal when it comes to gender specific acts men are expected to traditionally do, took the most sexest comic he could to express what he thought a woman should do for him. Please remember your own expectations within a relationship before condemning women that have theirs. Whether they be about a man paying or any other subject such as your personal expectation about oral. You must be really bothered by what I say for you to call me out about things I wrote days ago that never specifically addressed you. You also continue to reference the threads about the "who pays?" debate. That's fine with me, although I really don't have much faith that I will get through to you. You pretty much only see exactly what you want to see in my posts and then twist them with your responses. For example, in the thread I started, I never, EVER made any assertions or discussed anything about expectations WITHIN a relationship. The only thing I ever took issue with was the social custom of men being expected to pay or offer to pay for early dates when there was no agreement of exclusivity. I then posted my experience with getting around this custom which, it should go without saying, did not involve hurting or insulting anyone. I never said anything about who should pay IN a relationship. I honestly have no issue with how people divide in-relationship expenses up so long as one person clearly isn't taking advantage of the other. Likewise, I have no expectation of getting blowjobs (or any other physical or sexual act) on early dates or before exclusivity. You ask me to respect other people's preferences within a relationship. Whenever I talked about "who pays?", I never said a thing about what happens in a relationship. When I talked about oral sex, I never said anything about expecting oral sex without being in a relationship. I'm willing to discuss pretty much whatever with you, but you really need to start getting your facts straight. And I'll take note to never try to lighten up the mood by posting clips of comedians. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 That's not our place is it? I'm not going to risk an argument with people on here because some girl wants a Loveshack White Knight. Yeah, that's true In A Rut. Instead, you rather risk and argument about why you shouldn't be expected to stand up for what's right or wrong when it comes to women specifically. You'd rather claim that any man that says something in defense of how women are described or treated is nothing more then some silly cliche of "White Knight"-hood. Instead of choosing to see the right or wrong in treating a man OR a woman poorly or using poor negative words to describe them. But thanks for proving my point for me Dear Heart. That other men on here will come running when men are defamed but will throw up their hands and turn their backs when it happens to the other gender. Me? I speak up either way for men and for women when I see something I don't think is right. I guess that's the difference between us. Link to post Share on other sites
Imageiko Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 I haven't really read the whole thread but for me it's a compatibility thing. It's a deal breaker because that means we aren't compatible. I like to give and receive and expect the same in my partner. I'm sure there are people out there who don't feel the same as me. I'd consider it pretty selfish and a red flag if somebody only wants to receive and expects it regularly. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 10, 2011 Share Posted October 10, 2011 BigQuestion, I'm just pointing out your own personal biased. Even in your comments to me you say, "although I really don't have much faith that I will get through to you." Instead of something along the lines of, "clearly you have different expectatoins about relationships then myself." You seem to think that *your* ideas about relationships are something you need to 'get through" to other people because *your* way is the "right" way. I don't really care if you personally require oral to be a personal part of your relationships. That's completely you're right. And I'm not going to set forth to change it. I don't want to. You on the other hand made it a side mission of yours to complain about, and try to change, expectations about who pays. Even going to so far to brag about the influence you've had over your current girlfriend in this matter. You are a big time speaker about "equality" but you use one of the most sexist and politically incorrect comics to illustrate a point about the role you think a woman should perform in a relationship. Which is no different then expectations women place on men if you are honest with yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It's sad but I think the above poster is right. Women want to be dominated. Of course, many western women have ideas in their head which are at odds with their nature. Relevant side note - I've recently lost all hope in the human race. The above fact is unrelated yet still reinforces that conclusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 There are two differences between us. 1. You take the Interwebs way too seriously and I don't take it seriously at all. 2. You have a 'holier than thou" complex and I am just a humbleman. I have also been attacked by women on this forum for no reason at all. So, let's not try and pretend that women cannot defend themselves. You seem quite capable of defending yourself. So instead of moaning at me, why don't you get on with it? Some narrowminded men made some hurtful comments, big deal! If I was to react the way you did everytime some bigot said something hurtful to me I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. I am sure there are more then just two! What way did I react? To call out the nonsense? Oh geez, yeah instead lets all turn our heads and pretend it didn't happen so that those things can keep on being said. Apparently, it's too much trouble to calmly say to a dude "Hey dude, that was pretty "narrowminded" (After all that is the word you used isn't it). No...instead you rather argue against me for pointing something very true out. At least I stand up for what I think is right. You on the other hand talk a big game about not wanting to 'argue" then do just that. And not even with the right person! Because you even admit the guys are narrowminded. At least I don't hide and cower behind nonsense. All this energy to argue with me when you claimed previously that you weren't going to waste energy on arguing. Lets just be honest, you couldn't man-up against another man so you decided to argue against me instead. Even though you agreed those guys where narrowminded. Yeah, that's a much better way to live. To argue against the person that stands up against the narrowmindedness instead of the people that actually are narrowminded. that makes perfect sense! Link to post Share on other sites
nofool4u Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Ummmm, only if she has some kind of infection. A vagina should not naturally have a distinctively fishy / foul odor. well at the very least a musty odor. and an infection need not be in the equation. it is what it is. why do you think women douche? Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 It has nothing to do with the fact you attacked me has it? Now she hides behinds "you're picking on me", that's typical response from a woman who picks a fight with a Japanese Hornet Bee and then cries when she is stung. Actually, you went after me to find fault with me for pointing out how not one man said a peep to other men that displayed narrowmindedness toward women. Narrowmindedness you admitted to! The words I remember you using were, " I'm not going to risk an argument with people on here because some girl wants a Loveshack White Knight." Was "some girl" suppose to be a compliment? Usually when people say "some man/girl/woman/boy", it's not said with kindness. Was the catch phrase "White Knight" not an attempt to condemn those men who do infact defend women and any woman who thinks it's nice when a man does? Oh the horrors! A man standing up for either a woman or a man! But if he stands up for a woman he must just be playing "white knight". "What a shmuck', is your implication of that. You then went on to do a point by point reference on our differences implying that you're just a better person because you don't take things seriously on the "interwebs" and that you're a "humbleman" and I have a "holier than thou" complex. But those attacks where okay right? Naturally they were okay because they were made by *you*...first. You didn't step up the plate. Use any euphemism that pleases you. You responded to my post to complain about the fact that I pointed out the negative words used by some of the men in this post to describe women. Except, you didn't respond to agree or to even say something to those men. You decided to respond to actually complain about me pointing out the facts. You admitted yourself that those men we were speaking of were narrowminded. You originally claimed that you didn't say anything because you didn't want to argue. But you instead decided to argue against me for standing up against the narrowmindedness instead of standing up agaisnt the actual people that displayed the actual narrowmindness. It wasn't that you didn't want to argue though. You're proving that with each post you make in confrontation to the flaws and hypocriticalness I've pointed out in your post. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 BigQuestion, I'm just pointing out your own personal biased. Even in your comments to me you say, "although I really don't have much faith that I will get through to you." Instead of something along the lines of, "clearly you have different expectatoins about relationships then myself." You seem to think that *your* ideas about relationships are something you need to 'get through" to other people because *your* way is the "right" way. I don't really care if you personally require oral to be a personal part of your relationships. That's completely you're right. And I'm not going to set forth to change it. I don't want to. You on the other hand made it a side mission of yours to complain about, and try to change, expectations about who pays. Even going to so far to brag about the influence you've had over your current girlfriend in this matter. You are a big time speaker about "equality" but you use one of the most sexist and politically incorrect comics to illustrate a point about the role you think a woman should perform in a relationship. Which is no different then expectations women place on men if you are honest with yourself. The only thing I was ever trying to get through to you is for you to actually read my posts without making assumptions about me that you cannot prove. Do you honestly think I've ever tried to change your mind about anything? I have not. The only thing I've tried to change is the MALE belief that paying for first dates is necessary for success with women. Yes, I recognize that you have an expectation that a man should pay for you/offer to pay for you even if you aren't committed to him and even if you don't know him very well. You have a right to have that expectation. I have the right to think that expectation is stupid and subject to critical evaluation. What exactly is it about "expectations" that make them immune to criticism? Why am I required to respect preferences that do not make any sense? Why am I not allowed to share effective ways to sidestep those expectations? Guess what? Just because you have certain expectations or preferences does NOT make them inherently immune from criticism. It does not and should prevent me from commenting on them and working to change them. Thankfully for me, I don't have to do much. Slowly but surely, the attitude you have about dating is going be as irrelevant as an 8-track player. I think it's laughable that you discuss some sort of "influence" I've had on my girlfriend as if I'm some master of mind control. She is honestly the last person in the world that I would accuse of being easily manipulated or influenced. She clearly liked me enough to keep seeing me even if we weren't going to dinners that I was paying for, and even if she was accustomed to men paying for her in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 You are some woman to me though, I've never met you, you're words on a screen. You're not important to me, you don't matter to me and I have no reason to defend someone who is words on a screen and nowhere in my posts have I said I am a better person than you. You attacked me after I pointed out to you that nobody has to defend you on here, it's their choice. You seem to think you divine right to be defended by a male, not so. The rest of your post is just nonsense, so I won't bother responding to it. It's not a matter of me thinking it's a "devine" right. It's a matter of both men and women treating each other better and calling other people out for the other gender just as much as their own. You want to turn any kind of defending a man could do for a woman into some silly cliche that you think should embarres both men and women, using "white knight" as a way to shame men not to stand up for what they know is right or wrong with how men AND women are talked about. Instead of seehow some men are being a good men and sometimes stepping up to the plate for a woman OR a man. I see so many guys rally for their gender. I'd like to see both men and women sometimes rally and be bold enough to speak up against "narrowmindness" they see for the other gender as well. "Narrowmindedness" that YOU admitted too. I repeat your own words back to you: "I'm not going to risk an argument with people on here because some girl wants a Loveshack White Knight." This isn't about not risking arguments for you. You just don't like the fact that it was pointed out that no guy came up to these other guys and said "Dude, that's not cool". Men take other men more seriously then they do women. We need good men that won't just rally for injustices performed agaisnt their gender but for injustices performed for women too. And the same needs to happen within women. But you? You speak a big game about not wanting to "argue" when that's all you really want to do. Except not agaisnt the people YOU yourself said where narrowminded. Against the person who is speaking up agaisnt the narrowmindedness. Funny that. You sure do love to throw around the word "attack". I pointed out the hypocrisy in your statements. You came back with "reasons" we are different and trying to shame men who stand up for women into being nothing more then some cliche that actually degrades men and women alike. Link to post Share on other sites
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Blame her for it, she completely overreacted and caused the demise of this thread. Yeah..because you're just a man who doesn't want to "argue". What a joke. Link to post Share on other sites
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