MR.ASIAN Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Hi fellow LS' ers.. thanks in advance for even bothering to click on this thread. Anyways, a little quick background. We are both 22, been in a relationship for about 6 almost 7 years married for 1.3 Years. I am currently deployed(USN) for about 5.2 months now. So, throughout my deployment prostitution was a popular thing and she knows about it. So, just today I was joking with her saying that I got one last night and all she replied was if I used a condom. I was a bit surprised because I wasnt sure if she was joking around or not. Keep in mind so if the jealous type so this was not like her at all. Weirdest part was that it didnt bother her at all. There were 2 occasions where she claimed that she had gotten drunk and woke up with another guy while I was in bootcamp(this was about 2 years ago) but she claims it was a mistake and they never had sex, second time was 3-4 years ago we were going thru our mid relationship crisis where she was yet at another party and gotten too drunk and claims that this guy brought up to the bed and threw her on the bed and had fell asleep there with her nothing had happened.. Well, point is am I overreacting? Should I just leave it alone? I feel that she is ok with it because I think she did me wrong but I the same I think I may overreacting and taking it the wrong way. Well, suggestions? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I think you have some major problems with your wife. On a least 2 separate times (that you know of) your wife gets so drunk that she wakes up with men in the morning. If you believe there was no sex then you are in big time denial. Your wife has major drinking problems. I would suggest that you get her into counseling and make sure she gets tested for STD's. This is a huge problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Well, she has gotten tested for other reasons. I guess I can agree to the whole denial thing but I am sure what to believe but I she insists so I just agree to prevent further agruments because she could be telling the truth but I will never know. Also, we have gotten some counseling thats why I just need other peoples input on the topic. Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Why were/are you trying to make her jealous? For better or worse, I'm the "jealous" type --- if I stop being jealous while in a relationship with someone... that pretty much means I've stopped caring about them and have emotionally moved on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 well, initially we were just joking but you know when it starts to get awkward when it is said. Well, thats what kinda happened.. Well, I feel that what OnyxSnowfall has said about moving on is true because I she isnt the same anymore. She doesnt seem to care about this relationship as much anymore so what so I do? Everytime, I try to talk to her she just hangs up. We have been going through a rough deployment, I know I should give her some space but what do I do? I know the signs shes given leads to her seeing someone else but we have been trying to intimate lately and I asked her if there was someone else and she said no. She I am giving her the benefit of the doubt. So what now? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Well, heres a little update. We are not on a break because she claims that she has hurt me too much and that she does not deserve me. When I tried to call her she picks up we talk for about 10-15secs then she hangs up. This is persistent. Then before I left for the ocean I called her to tell her I am leaving and love her, she replied with "ok, bye" and simply hangs up. I have also found out that she changed her email password and facebook password(we were really opened to eachother) and she has removed our "married" status off facebook. I think this is a bit much, so I unfriended and block her out of sadness and anger. Now, I am really suspicious that she is seeing someone else, but at the same time I feel that I am jumping the gun. Am I wrong for feeling like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You would have to be in big time denial not to believe she is seeing someone else. You judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes toward you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Ok, so you are saying that I need to assume that she is seeing someone? Also, what are you suggestions from here? Do I go snooping around? Credit cards and such? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Well, I snooped around and checked my call logs, sure enough there was a number she consistently text and calls and send multimedia to. Now, I feel sad but relieve I have the other guys number I am going to call him in a bit and confirm then its time for a divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just called the call.. kept it smooth, He said that he didnt know she was married but I kinda seemed like it and she never told him.. He said they have never met up but I dont really believe that. She was texting him while I was video chating with her.. haha wow she can be evil..I then called her but she denied everything.. haha I am so sad and relied at the same time. I am going to file for divorce as soon as I return from deployment. Any suggestions? Time to hit up the coping/separation section.. Link to post Share on other sites
Desensitized Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just called the call.. kept it smooth, He said that he didnt know she was married but I kinda seemed like it and she never told him.. He said they have never met up but I dont really believe that. She was texting him while I was video chating with her.. haha wow she can be evil..I then called her but she denied everything.. haha I am so sad and relied at the same time. I am going to file for divorce as soon as I return from deployment. Any suggestions? Time to hit up the coping/separation section.. As hard as it may be for you right now, you need to take time to focus on yourself and just take things easy. You are going to be in the slumps for a while, but this is normal. There will be times when you are going to get angry, sad, delusional; you name it, but the bottom line is: you have to remain strong. Break ups suck, but you will get through it. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted October 7, 2011 Share Posted October 7, 2011 she does not deserve me When someone says that to you, they are usually right. It usually means they have done something which they are not proud and they do not think that you deserve to be treated this way. Sorry that she's been screwing around dude. Don't call the other guy again, you know that he will just lie lie lie to you. And so will your wife. I don't know much about getting divorced while you're deployed but I believe there are people there who can help you out in that situation? I would look into it and talk to them ASAP. It's nothing to be afraid or embarrassed about, that is what they are there for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 Well, too be honest I feel relieved and sad at the same time. 7 years down the drain. She sent me an email saying that she has never met up with him and they were just talking about me because we were going through a hard time. But I dont think that that is a valid excuse to hide it from me. I think I am falling back into denial. I plan on giving her a call later to sort things out. I am pretty set on the divorce so I am going to ask her what she wants so I will not have to hire a attorney. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MR.ASIAN Posted October 7, 2011 Author Share Posted October 7, 2011 I am also contemplated on retrieving all her text messages between them two. But I don't that is necessary because her lying and deceiving me is good enough for me to chuck the deuces. But at the same time I am extremely curious as to if they were really talking about me. ugh.. help.. Link to post Share on other sites
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