Why are all the good, decent women unattractive?

[KathyM]

C'mon. Don't waste people's time on here people.

 

We all KNOW there is a sterotype that good looking people are more often times less intelligent, less funny, less hard working, and have worse personalities.

 

I completely agree with Onyxsnowfall, that this happens because good looking people are ALWAYS handed stuff. Studies have been done people by Harvard and University of Michigan that even as small children, parents have a harder time saying no and punishing cute babies over less cute babies. This is not a point for debate - studies have been done.

 

A natural part of growth is action and consequence. My mother was VERY good to me. Got me the video games I wanted, let me go outside and play with my friends, etc. BUT, if I misbehaved or disrespected, I would be grounded and confined to the house wit NO VIDEO GAMES. I learned early and often about actions and consequences.

 

My best friend and my girlfriend are prime examples. Both INCREDIBLY good looking people and both have told me seperately they were NEVER grounded growing up. Now, this bit of date MAY be skewed because they both happen to be the babies of their respective families. I've spoken to their older siblings, and much like in my family, they were babied and never got grounded but the older siblings did. My younger brother is MUCH better looking than me (dates the prettiest girl in school) and he NEVER gets grounded EVER. And we have the same mother. But this could ALSO be skewed because my mother and step father got divorced a few years ago so it could be divorce guilt letting him get away with stuff.

 

But there DEF exhists enough data to take a serious look at attractive people not being as intelligent. Just look at the supreme court! LMAO.

I guess I can't argue with studies done by Harvard. Maybe there is a greater instance of good looking people who have not achieved as much academically because they've relied on their looks and more average looking people develop other aspects of themselves to a greater degree. I have read about studies that show that good looking people have achieved more in their career because they are more likely to be hired and more likely to be promoted than more average looking people. I know the law firm I worked at for several years had women who were all good looking women. In fact, one of the attorneys would kid that being good looking was a requirement to being hired there. I do know that all of the good looking women I've known throughout my lifetime have also been intelligent. I can't think of a single woman who wasn't. My mother and aunt were both very beautiful women in their younger days. My mother was saluditorian of her high school class, and went to college. My sister and I both graduated from college and are considered very attractive. I have a 4.0 GPA in grad school. Both of her children and all of my children are very handsome boys. They are all gifted and graduated at the top of their class and all went to or are going to college. My nieces are both beautiful young women and both graduated from college. All of the women I worked with at the law firm were beautiful women who were very intelligent. Same thing with my nephew's wife and every women that I have ever known. In fact, I have never known a beautiful woman who was not intelligent. So there may be some greater instance in the general population of good looking people not focusing on academics as much, but there are certainly plenty of people to whom that stereotype does not apply.

[Sanman]

Forgive me in advance, but anyone upset with NYC as a dating market is truly an idiot.

 

 

That is a random generalization. It all depends what you are looking for in another person. There are many women in NYC that I have dated and plenty of those even seem good on paper. However, I tend to find most of the NYC women I dated a bit self-absorbed and a bit too much into living the SATC lifestyle for me. I may have grown up around here, but I am much more a Queens boy than I am a Manhattanite. To each their own.

[Easyguy14]

That is a random generalization. It all depends what you are looking for in another person. There are many women in NYC that I have dated and plenty of those even seem good on paper. However, I tend to find most of the NYC women I dated a bit self-absorbed and a bit too much into living the SATC lifestyle for me. I may have grown up around here, but I am much more a Queens boy than I am a Manhattanite. To each their own.

 

I heard through the grapevine that queens girls are better than the others in nyc. is that true. Im wondering

[Mrlonelyone]

"beautiful people" as it has surely been said are too often not forced to develop other aspects of their personality and so they tend to be shallow.

 

NOT all are this way but enough are. This is especially true in the big cities. Moreover beautiful, image concious people tend to pick who they date and mate based on looks and nothing else. Big surprise that almost never works out.

 

Case in point 9/10 hollywood relationships fail in short order.

 

There is even a old song that says it. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly girl to marry you. The same goes for men, marry a schlub who's a decent guy and he will always be there...while a pretty boy with options will exercise them.

 

[Sanman]

I heard through the grapevine that queens girls are better than the others in nyc. is that true. Im wondering

 

 

My curernt gf grew up more middle class and isnt in the NYC area (Jersey girl) and I find her much more down to earth. I found her friends to be the same. My ex-gf was from Queens and I found her really down to earth as well. Most of the Manhattan and brooklyn girls I met/dated were transplants looking for NYC glamor or hipsters. The south Brooklyn girls were more Staten Island/ Jersey Shore types. With the exception of maybe Astoria, most of the queens girls I meet are just regular middle class NY girls. Queens is not the popular or cool borough, it is more the middle class, family, and ethnic borough. So, the ones who live there are not chasing that lifestyle mostly. My opinion at least.

[KathyM]

"beautiful people" as it has surely been said are too often not forced to develop other aspects of their personality and so they tend to be shallow.

 

NOT all are this way but enough are. This is especially true in the big cities. Moreover beautiful, image concious people tend to pick who they date and mate based on looks and nothing else. Big surprise that almost never works out.

 

Case in point 9/10 hollywood relationships fail in short order.

 

There is even a old song that says it. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life get an ugly girl to marry you. The same goes for men, marry a schlub who's a decent guy and he will always be there...while a pretty boy with options will exercise them.

 

 

Well, I'll object to those generalizations as well. My mother and aunt, both very beautiful women, were both happily married to their husbands until the day the husbands died. My husband and I have been married for many years and are still going strong. My sister would have still been married to her first husband if he had not cheated on her. My son and my sister's son are both happily married to wonderful young women. And as far as picking someone only based on looks, that is not true either. I picked my husband because he had a charming personality, he was very polite and considerate of my feelings, he was an interesting, intelligent person, a great sense of humor, and besides all that, he was incredibly cute, with a great physique and a wonderful tan. The whole package. But if looks was the only thing he had going for him, I wouldn't have given him the time of day.

[Mrlonelyone]

Because we can't know the details of the lives of every person in the world all any of us can do is generalize.

 

Don't take it personally, if someone dose not apply to you they it dosen't apply.

[KathyM]

Because we can't know the details of the lives of every person in the world all any of us can do is generalize.

 

Don't take it personally, if someone dose not apply to you they it dosen't apply.

I just think these generalizations are not fair or accurate. Especially when they are made to imply that all attractive people are shallow, or all attractive people are not intelligent, or all attractive people have nothing else going for them, or all attractive people don't have lasting marriages. That's really unfair to make such sweeping generalizations.

[Mrlonelyone]

Did I say ALL?

 

I said. "NOT all are this way but enough are."

[Confusedbroken]

I resent this post!! I am an attractive woman with a model body (minus the boobs there average) I have been told by many men that I am attractive AND I have an awesome personality! I love to laugh joke smile, I love making people smile. Sometimes I get shy yet apparetly guys think its cute when I get shy. So not only ugly women have good personalities!! The problem occurs when a beautiful woman gets too confident, but that also happens with hott men!!

[Sanman]

I really love it when people come online and claim that they are both beautiful and have great personalities so this generalization must not be true. I'm glad that you all believe that you are so beautiful and wonderful, but let us leave that for others who are unbiased to judge. Post a picture if you are so confident.

[KathyM]

I really love it when people come online and claim that they are both beautiful and have great personalities so this generalization must not be true. I'm glad that you all believe that you are so beautiful and wonderful, but let us leave that for others who are unbiased to judge. Post a picture if you are so confident.

I don't need affirmation from strangers on the internet. I'm just taking issue with this theme that keeps bouncing around on LS that attractive people are shallow, or dumb, or boring, or whatever. All of the attractive people I know have a lot of other things going for them.

[OnyxSnowfall]

I don't need affirmation from strangers on the internet. I'm just taking issue with this theme that keeps bouncing around on LS that attractive people are shallow, or dumb, or boring, or whatever. All of the attractive people I know have a lot of other things going for them.

 

What do you perceive as physically attractive?

[KathyM]

What do you perceive as physically attractive?

On men, I find a symmetrical face attractive, high cheekbones, a well-shaped nose, good skin tone, full head of hair that is nicely styled, well defined muscles. My idea of an attractive man would be Tom Cruise and Ashton Kutcher. For women, it's pretty much the same--symmetrical face, high cheekbones, well-shaped nose, good skin tone, nicely-styled hair, good figure. Female examples of what I consider attractive is Cameron Diaz or Demi Moore. My idea of attractiveness is pretty much the same as what you see in the media as being attractive. It's pretty much a universal concept, not so much subjective, as some people would claim. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's 1:00 a.m. and the dog needs to go out. Have a nice evening.

[Woggle]

Next thing the yuppies and hipsters will try and take over Queens. They used to be just confined to upper Manhattan but they already took the Lower East Side, Brooklyn and from what I hear they are starting on the Bronx. They better stay the hell out of Jersey.

[danmorisson]

Most good-looking people are *******s but it all depends -- some start off ugly but then blossom into something physically stunning as soon as they hit adulthood. These ones are very rare though. The ones that tend to be arseholes are the ones that have always had the looks, had it all at a point when the brain is still developing -- these people usually grow up to lack compassion/empathy.

 

It just shows you that people lie -- that personality counts for jack **** 90% of the time. I see women out there and they don't give too ****s about personality -- good or bad -- they only care about looks.

Edited October 14, 2011 by danmorisson

[Negative Nancy]

personality counts for jack **** 90% of the time. I see women out there and they don't give too ****s about personality -- good or bad -- they only care about looks.

 

And men date women for completely altruistic reasons and only care about their personality?

 

:rollyeyes:

[Negative Nancy]

personality counts for jack **** 90% of the time. I see women out there and they don't give too ****s about personality -- good or bad -- they only care about looks.

 

And men date women for completely altruistic reasons and only care about their personality?

 

 

[chucksagent]

This certainly isn't a GENDER problem...It's a good looking person problem. And stop getting so offended people, nobody said ALL. Just enough of a large number worthy of taking a look at the issue. If 2 VERY esteemed universities thought enough to do HUGE studies on it, I think it is worthy of our time on this message board! LMAO.

 

I do agree that MANY attractive women are also intelligent. But I can HONESTLY tell all of you that I have never in my life met a woman who is sooooo beautiful that she takes my breath away and she ALSO blows my mind with her intelligence. Never happened. Not even close.

 

In my experience, the really beautiful women who are SOOOO gorgeous you'd never forget them, they don't have much to offer elsewhere (personality, brains, etc.).

 

Now, as I said earlier, my girlfriend is GORGEOUS (not supermodel perfect 10, but VERY beautiful) and she has a GREAT personality. So there are exceptions to the rule.

[Sanman]

I don't need affirmation from strangers on the internet. I'm just taking issue with this theme that keeps bouncing around on LS that attractive people are shallow, or dumb, or boring, or whatever. All of the attractive people I know have a lot of other things going for them.

 

Yes, I am sure Paris Hiltion, Kim Kardashian, the cast of Jersey Shore, Ashton Kutcher, any number of hollywood starlets, Rachel Zoe, and the Real Housewives of who the hell cares are all being considered for next year's nobel prize now that Ralph Steinman has passed away. However, I am pretty sure that such an attribution has been around well before LS ever existed. Let us not pretend that someone on this site made that idea up. You could have easily made your generic argument without pointing out how good looking and wonderful your family was. All you were doing was making an invalid and self involved argument as no one here has any idea what they/you look like or how they/you act. However, inflate your ego if you must.

Edited October 14, 2011 by Sanman

[Easyguy14]

My curernt gf grew up more middle class and isnt in the NYC area (Jersey girl) and I find her much more down to earth. I found her friends to be the same. My ex-gf was from Queens and I found her really down to earth as well. Most of the Manhattan and brooklyn girls I met/dated were transplants looking for NYC glamor or hipsters. The south Brooklyn girls were more Staten Island/ Jersey Shore types. With the exception of maybe Astoria, most of the queens girls I meet are just regular middle class NY girls. Queens is not the popular or cool borough, it is more the middle class, family, and ethnic borough. So, the ones who live there are not chasing that lifestyle mostly. My opinion at least.

 

your opinion sounds really good to me. I have a friend in rego park & she's very down to earth, has a good job, wants so desperately to meet & mate with a good man. I known her since my earlier college years. we're friends and don't wanna ruin it for anything by taking a shot at each other but Im thinking you surely know what your saying. experience I think so maybe parts of queens is a place to seek.

[Wolf18]

I don't need affirmation from strangers on the internet. I'm just taking issue with this theme that keeps bouncing around on LS that attractive people are shallow, or dumb, or boring, or whatever. All of the attractive people I know have a lot of other things going for them.

 

 

Wow Kathy you are so noble, taking up the struggle of the oppressed beautiful people. Gandhi better look out, the 6'3 calvin klein model muscle men are going to fight for their rights and KathyM (and a few others) are their spokesman.

 

Like any stereotype, it's got truth in it but also there are individual people who disprove it. I'm sure there are many very physically attractive people who are great inside and out, but they aren't the rule they are the exception. Having the whole world bow down to you can often times create a sociopathic personality in the smarter ones, and a dumb apathetic and vapid personality in the dumber ones. Of course I'm not going to necessarily judge them too much, if I was an attractive woman I'd probably be on cloud 9 completely unaware of my surroundings (until I turn 35 and suddenly nobody's paying for my drinks or thinks I'm interesting or funny any more ).

[KathyM]

Yes, I am sure Paris Hiltion, Kim Kardashian, the cast of Jersey Shore, Ashton Kutcher, any number of hollywood starlets, Rachel Zoe, and the Real Housewives of who the hell cares are all being considered for next year's nobel prize now that Ralph Steinman has passed away. However, I am pretty sure that such an attribution has been around well before LS ever existed. Let us not pretend that someone on this site made that idea up. You could have easily made your generic argument without pointing out how good looking and wonderful your family was. All you were doing was making an invalid and self involved argument as no one here has any idea what they/you look like or how they/you act. However, inflate your ego if you must.

I figured my argument would have more credibility by providing real life examples of people who had more than just good looks, and, of course, the examples would be from people that I know personally. It's better than just stating an opinion with nothing to back it up with. I'm not trying to impress anybody, I'm just trying to make a point that there are plenty of exceptions to the theory expressed on this thread, and I wanted to debunk the theory that good looking people are all these negative things that people on this thread are claiming. While it may be true in some cases, there are many exceptions to that. I'm sure if you were short and people on a thread were stating that short people are unintelligent, and you knew many people who were both short and intelligent, you'd speak up on a thread also. It has nothing to do with inflating your ego. I'm just taking issue with these blanket statements, that's all.

[KathyM]

Wow Kathy you are so noble, taking up the struggle of the oppressed beautiful people. Gandhi better look out, the 6'3 calvin klein model muscle men are going to fight for their rights and KathyM (and a few others) are their spokesman.

 

Like any stereotype, it's got truth in it but also there are individual people who disprove it. I'm sure there are many very physically attractive people who are great inside and out, but they aren't the rule they are the exception. Having the whole world bow down to you can often times create a sociopathic personality in the smarter ones, and a dumb apathetic and vapid personality in the dumber ones. Of course I'm not going to necessarily judge them too much, if I was an attractive woman I'd probably be on cloud 9 completely unaware of my surroundings (until I turn 35 and suddenly nobody's paying for my drinks or thinks I'm interesting or funny any more ).

lol. Someone has to speak up for those that are unjustly maligned. I'm a trained advocate. It's in my nature to speak up for the oppressed.

[Els]

This certainly isn't a GENDER problem...It's a good looking person problem. And stop getting so offended people, nobody said ALL. Just enough of a large number worthy of taking a look at the issue. If 2 VERY esteemed universities thought enough to do HUGE studies on it, I think it is worthy of our time on this message board! LMAO.

 

I do agree that MANY attractive women are also intelligent. But I can HONESTLY tell all of you that I have never in my life met a woman who is sooooo beautiful that she takes my breath away and she ALSO blows my mind with her intelligence. Never happened. Not even close.

 

This really is statistical rather than causality-linked. It's pretty much the same reason you would almost never find a top-tier basketball player who also won the Nobel Prize, or an Olympics champion who was also a chess grandmaster. Not that athletic people are dumb, or that intelligent people are weak. It's simply the fact that it's rare to find someone exceptionally good in one aspect, and exponentially so to find someone exceptionally good in more than one aspect. Add that to the fact that you are what you do - ie a model often spends upwards of 6 hours a day on his or her looks, working out, professional makeup and stylists, whereas the intellectual would spend that time reading, improving his or her skillsets and knowledge, or doing whatever his/her field of research involves.

 

It's really pretty simple.