AHardDaysNight Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You're absolutely right. Compatibility and self esteem go a long way. I also have met some pretty girls that thought they were ugly. So I agree with Woggle. The ones that are mentally healthy all seem to be in relationships, and the ones that are left are either insecure emotionally, or mentally unstable. Link to post Share on other sites
samphs Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 No one has stated it doesn't exist... But sorry... so because your ego is well-fed and healthy, you don't think it's true in general? (also, attractive is subjective. No one is going to be physically attractive to every single person). It figures that a well-fed ego would believe it conquers the overall populace / relativity that others experience =x I guess you are right.... seemed at the beginning of the post they were stating it could not happen. I do agree attractiveness is subjective but then this whole thread makes very little sense... how do we know what any of us in here find attractive anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
ScienceGal Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 You're absolutely right. Compatibility and self esteem go a long way. I also have met some pretty girls that thought they were ugly. So I agree with Woggle. The ones that are mentally healthy all seem to be in relationships, and the ones that are left are either insecure emotionally, or mentally unstable. I wasn't considering pretty women that think they are unattractive. I have also known one or two. Really interesting. It comes down to knowing yourself, the good, bad and the ugly! Having a fair assessment of your strengths and weaknesses, and being open to learning more about yourself. Having boundaries that you stick to are important too. But, I digress.. Link to post Share on other sites
samphs Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 No. Sorry, I am not Courtney. I responded with "ditto" to this post. I am attractive. I have a pretty face and I take care of myself/am fit. And I do give my all in relationships. Meaning, I don't get into anything I am not 100% for. There is no game playing, lying, cheating, etc. I am the most straight-forward woman you'll ever meet. There is a difference between knowing what you have to offer, and being consumed by ego. And, there are some people that are aware they are unattractive and/or need to work on their approach to relationships. At the end of the day, no matter who you are or what you look like it is about compatibility with the other person anyway. You put this a lot better than I did.... Link to post Share on other sites
OnyxSnowfall Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 At the end of the day, no matter who you are or what you look like it is about compatibility with the other person anyway. Pretty much :) Link to post Share on other sites
samphs Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I've known some really attractive girls who are also really nice and decent. Problem is, they choose douchebags. This happens more than anything because at times attractive girls are ONLY approached by douchebags.... I know a lot of girls who do because the nicer guys are too shy... Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Well, always nice to have confirmation that no matter how good your personality, guys will still judge you based on your external appearance if you're a girl. Look at it this way: pretty girls can always improve their personalities (if they feel like it) with education, and some therapy/self-help books. Us ugly girls... without expensive cosmetic surgery, we're stuck this way. So go chase after those hot but empty girls; I'm sure you'll be much happier than dating a worthwhile ugly girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I responded with "ditto" to this post. I am attractive. I have a pretty face and I take care of myself/am fit. And I do give my all in relationships. Meaning, I don't get into anything I am not 100% for. There is no game playing, lying, cheating, etc. I am the most straight-forward woman you'll ever meet. There is a difference between knowing what you have to offer, and being consumed by ego. And, there are some people that are aware they are unattractive and/or need to work on their approach to relationships. At the end of the day, no matter who you are or what you look like it is about compatibility with the other person anyway. Again, I can't really argue with your subjective belief in what you have to offer. The craziest woman I ever dated thought she was a great catch. I get a woman who constantly talked about how pretty she was and how often she is approached by men. I disagreed wholeheartedly with her opinion of herself. You may be right, you may not be as pretty as you think, you may not be as giving as you think, or may be neither. I have no idea as I have never met you. I am just relating my experiences after dating a good number of women. I have found that the most physically attractive women I dated expected the most from me while offering the least back. I'm sure they thought they were giving, but I would disagree given my experiences. My gf is both attractive (to me) and very giving. However, she is not objectively the most physically attractive women I have dated, most guys call her cute. I have dated women who could be or were models. I am happier with my current gf. Link to post Share on other sites
Cracker Jack Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Well, always nice to have confirmation that no matter how good your personality, guys will still judge you based on your external appearance if you're a girl. Look at it this way: pretty girls can always improve their personalities (if they feel like it) with education, and some therapy/self-help books. Us ugly girls... without expensive cosmetic surgery, we're stuck this way. So go chase after those hot but empty girls; I'm sure you'll be much happier than dating a worthwhile ugly girl. Will you stop with this nonsense? Srsly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 NOT a New York thing, I know plenty of very pretty and nice girls here, god knows where you are looking for these women.... I'm in the city and of course the women there are gorgeous but that's just a physical catch. They have nothing underneath because I've approached and sometimes even hate hearing their whiny, pretentious voices! I'm open to whatever spots you know in NY where I can locate some cute and friendly girls that wants a man with substance. I'm just tired of seeing the same old, mundane has-beens checking me out or ugly ducklings who want take a loose stab with their shaking fingers. I don't give a **** about 10s on the looks scale but a 7 and a 9 within the personality department is getting more rare, especially with women scared of men who just happens to "spot" them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 ditto. OP, it seems that you need to change your attitude a bit. I don't care how good looking you are, your post is a total turn-off. Maybe the attractive women aren't attracted to you because they also wants looks AND personality. What do you offer that is so great? I look mean which keeps them keen, how's that? Link to post Share on other sites
fetish1980 Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wow. What a fun topic LOL It seems that's my luck. The girls who make themselves known that they're in to me are either plane janes or overweight. My ex girlfriend/fiance is pretty in the face, but a little overweight and oddly shaped, so i had made exceptions. They don't have to be a 9 or a 10 looks wise, but i would prefer at least a 6 or 7 with a personality of at least 8 or 9. I hope she comes to me one day. fetish Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Isn't being good and decent attractive ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Isn't being good and decent attractive ? It's attractive as a hang-out buddy but nothing more. Plus women seem to have chips on their shoulders when out which adds to the difficulty but when they're drunk, which is the norm in NYC for young sexy girls, then I can definitely hit on them, but come on! Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Wow. What a fun topic LOL It seems that's my luck. The girls who make themselves known that they're in to me are either plane janes or overweight. My ex girlfriend/fiance is pretty in the face, but a little overweight and oddly shaped, so i had made exceptions. They don't have to be a 9 or a 10 looks wise, but i would prefer at least a 6 or 7 with a personality of at least 8 or 9. I hope she comes to me one day. fetish You know, I agree with this, but some of the women seem disagree with me. I do wonder what the women and the men here consider attractive. Something tells me that what women are considering attractive us guys may only refer to as cute. Funny about your exgf/fiancee, I am in the same exact position. My gf actually looks like a slightly taller and slightly heavier version of rachel ray. If it were not for the fact that she has a pretty face, it would be tough for me as she has great personality (one of the most wonderful people I have ever met). Before her, I met a bunch of similar women that were nice and into me, but the face was not pretty and the body average. The hot women that dated me always seemed to take me a bit for granted and I certainly did more. However, in my current relationship and with the more average women I have dated, they tend to be more willing to put in as much as I do. That is life I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
ChessPieceFace Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Womens' (and more importantly girls') psyche depends on the approval of a dominant male. Early on, it is likely her father, and then later it would be alpha males in her peer group. Beautiful girls will get positive reinforcement early on without any effort. Attention and adoration and praise, all just for existing. They must be so great! They can do whatever they want and they get positive reinforcement. Thus, little or no effort is spent on improvement of self, on personal accomplishment, and on forming the positive behaviors and traits which would produce genuine, deserved positive reinforcement from others. Thus, many pretty women who are ditsy (never bothered developing their mind), mean (never bothered developing a sense of empathy) and self-absorbed (their peers say they are better than others, who are they to disagree?) Some beautiful women weren't so beautiful as kids. I believe that worked to their great advantage in life. These unfortunate effects of positive reinforcement due to inherent attributes ARE also present in males, but to a significantly lesser extent. Partly due to the difference in the male psyche, and partly due to the difference in looks not being NEARLY as equally prized in a male. In the male, "piggish alpha-male dominance" would be the equivalent to female beauty, producing the same kinds of positive reinforcement from peers, but the trait of "piggish, alpha-male dominance" is not inherently free of blame in the way that beauty is inherently free of blame. So, then, as a society, one can conclude that the more shallow we become as a culture, the more evil and amoral our children (and especially girls/women) will become over time. Fascinating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 Womens' (and more importantly girls') psyche depends on the approval of a dominant male. Early on, it is likely her father, and then later it would be alpha males in her peer group. Beautiful girls will get positive reinforcement early on without any effort. Attention and adoration and praise, all just for existing. They must be so great! They can do whatever they want and they get positive reinforcement. Thus, little or no effort is spent on improvement of self, on personal accomplishment, and on forming the positive behaviors and traits which would produce genuine, deserved positive reinforcement from others. Thus, many pretty women who are ditsy (never bothered developing their mind), mean (never bothered developing a sense of empathy) and self-absorbed (their peers say they are better than others, who are they to disagree?) Some beautiful women weren't so beautiful as kids. I believe that worked to their great advantage in life. These unfortunate effects of positive reinforcement due to inherent attributes ARE also present in males, but to a significantly lesser extent. Partly due to the difference in the male psyche, and partly due to the difference in looks not being NEARLY as equally prized in a male. In the male, "piggish alpha-male dominance" would be the equivalent to female beauty, producing the same kinds of positive reinforcement from peers, but the trait of "piggish, alpha-male dominance" is not inherently free of blame in the way that beauty is inherently free of blame. So, then, as a society, one can conclude that the more shallow we become as a culture, the more evil and amoral our children (and especially girls/women) will become over time. Fascinating. This is a pretty good character study, kudos. But the thing is, an average woman can be made to look good, for example a 6 can become an 8 if she puts in the effort. A hot body definitely goes a long way too! However the majority of these women are lazy as ****! But here in NYC most of the women are running around out of shape (I did a topic on this issue months ago) and the ones with the best bodies have boyfriends that won't let them go. Or if the man does break up with them, there's another jerk right there that she knows waiting in line. You also have the ones with walls up to the Eiffel Tower that no man can reach and others spending all day in the gym, admiring themselves after a workout. This has happened with my ex. I tried to reconcile with her because she's a sexy babe, youthful, full of energy; those are the positives. I won't leap into the negatives right now, but I just spotted her on Facebook with her new boyfriend. I was livid! Now, trying to find a young woman equal to her that's available is hard as hell. All I'm seeing is subpar physical attributes with not even a hot body. I can deal with an alright-looking face but the body has to be curvy with everything a typical guy desires and an easygoing nature. Finding this kind of lady is like a diamond in the rough when it shouldn't be. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 An overweight girl who's pretty in the face is more attractive than a fit girl with an ugly face. I think I've mentioned this before... Link to post Share on other sites
azsinglegal Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Try the gym instead of a bar. Then again, any women who's good enough to take care of herself won't want a man who's dating her just based on looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Shaun-Dro Posted October 6, 2011 Author Share Posted October 6, 2011 An overweight girl who's pretty in the face is more attractive than a fit girl with an ugly face. I think I've mentioned this before... I can't agree with that. At least with the ugly girl, you can keep your eyes shut during points of interaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Maybe you're coming across this conundrum, OP, because the 7s with 9s for personality are avoiding a guy with a 1 for personality. Link to post Share on other sites
AHardDaysNight Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 I can't agree with that. At least with the ugly girl, you can keep your eyes shut during points of interaction. Then leave the pretty girl to me, and you can have an ugly girl. I'd take Adele over Paris Hilton any day. Link to post Share on other sites
azsinglegal Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Haven't you ever heard the song: If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So from my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 Hmm, cities like NYC have a large proportion of fit and attractive women, so I don't think that's the problem. Are you saying a woman having a drink or two is a deal breaker? Also, tell us a little more abut you. Are you educated? Smart? What's your body like? If you're approaching attractive women and you come across as not too bright or interesting, of course they won't be responsive. It's not that they have a bad personality, they're just not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
CocoaBrown Posted October 6, 2011 Share Posted October 6, 2011 And let me guess, you are totally ripped and 10/10? hahaha! My thought EXACTLY! Link to post Share on other sites
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